Aibu to be upset with husband over forgotten gift

[MamaBearto2]

First time posting, so please be gentle with me.

My "DH" who I have been with for almost 10 years has completely forgotten/ ignored my Christmas gift request. In the whole time we have been together, I have never known what I wanted for Christmas or my early January birthday.

This year, I saw a specific bracelet I wanted back in late October. I started the Facebook tagging with "I want this" several times a week since, been in the store with him a few times in the lead up to Christmas to look at it and window shopped every time we have walked past the store.

Today, he went to do Christmas shopping as he has been working incredibly hard the last few weeks and today is his only chance. I asked him if he had been in this specific store for my bracelet and his face dropped.. he had "forgotten" and thought I had just said I liked it, not that I wanted it. I'm gutted and had a little melt down about it after him saying he will go it.

Aibu to be upset about this and not want some second thought gift?

We have had a rough year but have worked hard on our relationship so I feel this is a slap in the face and that my feelings don't count yet again.

God I sound so grabby but I'm really not. I never ask for anything and always put alot of thought/ effort into his gifts.

Thank you for the replies everyone.. no drip feeds.. like I said in my original post, we have had a tough year. I would rather not go into details but we nearly broke us (no affairs)

I can read the man like I book so I know he definitely hasn't got it.

Have a lovely Christmas everyone 🎅🏻🤶🏻

Sounds like you’ve dropped hints which he just hasn’t picked up on. Maybe you’d have been better off being a bit more blunt. I point blank say to dh “if you’re thinking of what to get me I would like x” otherwise there’s no hope.

@VivaLeBeaver I thought my saying "I would like this" was blunt enough.. clearly not. I will just buy it myself. Have a lovely Christmas

I hope he has got it for you or something more lovely as a surprise.

If I want something that badly, I buy it and tell DP what he's bought me. He is completely clueless about present-buying and yes, I know that it's also a cop-out, but it doesn't bother me at all, especially as I'm usually too stressed out over Christmas to even notice. I told him what I would like this year, where it was and how much. It was £6! I'll probably buy something in the sales or much more likely, use it as more leverage to buy what I want for my birthday which he really, really wouldn't want me to get (and to be honest, I can't blame him on that score!). Sorry, can't explain further as it's very outing and rather a unique item.

Hope that you have a lovely day tomorrow, whatever you get. The bracelet may be in the sales and would make a lovely birthday gift, if you aren't too upset about it all.

Well it sounds like he’s realised now so hopefully he will get it for your birthday?

Some people are good at buying presents some people aren't, if I want something specific I ask because my DH doesn't get hints.

If I were him, I'd get you a lump of coal.

Saying "I want this" sevetal times, showing him the bracelet and pointing it out more than once should have been enough surely? Isnt that the 'go to' advice on here? Dont give hints, be specific. Op did just that but she is in the wrong, telling someone what you want will make them definately NOT buy it! You just cant win on here.

Unless he is incredibly stupid or actually has it there is no excuse.

1st time op actually asks for something specific and he screws it up. Why are people excusing this? Oh wait he is male amd cannot possibly buy a present without someone taking him by the hand and dealing with it for him.

So its all ok she should just buy her own xmas present, really?

constant tagging on facebook saying "I want this" - are you 13 OP?

constant tagging on facebook saying "I want this" - are you 13 OP?

Clearly she's not. Your point?

Isnt that the 'go to' advice on here? Dont give hints, be specific.

There is a huge difference between being specific and constantly tagging someone on Facebook. That would fully piss me off.

OP, I hope you get your bracelet. YANBU. It is a bit shitty to not listen to you when you have been straightforward about what you want. Being ignored is no fun. And I hate that double bluff crap. Pretending you haven't got something for someone when you have. My parents did this to me with a Kindle. They pretended they had bought it for someone else and asked me to help set it up. I was so upset at the thought that they had done that and tried so hard not to show it that when they told me they were joking, I burst into tears. I had wanted one for ages. So, YANBU IMO

He's got it for you.

@WaitroseCoffeeCostaCup I wish I had your optimism but he really hasn't. I refuse to let it ruin Christmas though. Have a lovely Christmas

I don’t think DH has bought me anything for Christmas this year, even though there’s something on the Amazon “save for later” list that he knows I want. I’ll just buy it for myself, all money is shared anyway so it isn’t about that - but it hurts slightly that he can’t be bothered to even buy one thing that would be so easy.

I pretend I don’t mind every year, and get stuff for myself to “open”, but this year I’ve only bought him one thing (had loads of ideas that he’d like) because what’s the point if he doesn’t reciprocate the effort?

I feel your pain OP, DH is a very good husband in many ways but present buying is not a strong point.

YANBU. He is happy to accept your thoughtful gifts every year but doesn't make an effort the one year you express an interest in something?

That's shit. I would stop the thoughtful presents.

Gosh you're really pissed off, your responses read snippy, you really wanted that bracelet. What do you mean you won't let it ruin Xmas, how can not getting what you want ruin Xmas, he has got you a gift, it's not like he hasn't got you anything.

It's not s second thought gift, it's his first thought. That should mean something to you. A present isn't supposed to be a demand and then a melt down if you don't get what you want but something else. That's kinda shitty behaviour.

Men are wired differently a lot of the time. My DH doesn't take hints v often & leaves Christmas til the last minute normally as I do most of everything else that isn't my own present. I also have resentment over this but couldn't cope with his taking care of stuff & leaving it til Christmas Eve

Christ almighty. Men aren't wired differently, they just work out they can get away with certain things. Had OP not told her DH so clearly she wanted it, she'd be told 'yabu for expecting him to read your mind'. She told him clearly and he still didn't even bother to remember. OP, for your sake I hope this isn't forgotten by your DH and that he realised he's taken you for granted and shapes up drastically and very quickly. Sorry for you OP. I think yanbu.

Yabu

Buckeejit
He only doesnt so anything because you do it all. If he had to help he would be more than capable to do so just the same as you are. If men can miraculously manage to remember what they are supposed to do at work how on earth is prepping for xmas so difficult for them?

My ex used to come shopping for kids and family presents with me. Why should it all have been left to me? He managed to buy my present from him and kids too. If he could do it anyone can😉

Op - I have exactly this - with a bracelet also. I'm told I'm hard to buy for so a month or two ago I sent him a link to something I liked, we exchanged messages about it, then yesterday he confessed he didn't know what to get me, I mentioned the bracelet and he admitted he'd completely forgotten.

He may still surprise me but I doubt it.

YANBU to be disappointed

Meanwhile some of us have dead husbands that won’t be buying anything.

With a bit of luck youll get it reduced in the sales OP