I am so sorry that he has treated you so awfully this Christmas op, you are vulnerable, hormonal and emotional and that's normal for this stage of pregnancy! You have the added stress of a manipulative partner who has no concern for your or your babies wellbeing! You could have gone into labour yesterday, have had major surgery, or a baby in special care and he was uncontactable! Because of a sore throat! I wish I had read this yesterday, as I would have advised you to stay with your Aunt! Heavily pregnant you should be avoiding contracting his supposed glandular fever! In fact you should pack a bag for him, send him to stay with his Father and ask your Aunt or your Mother to come stay with you until your little one arrives!
Did I read right that he works nights? What kind of job does he have? I have a friend whose husband worked in London Monday to Friday, then came home to his wife and children every weekend (Friday to Sunday evening). They had four children together, one New Year, (before their fourth was born) despite his wife just having a miscarriage, he insisted that he needed to get back to London as something urgent had come up. My friend was still recovering from surgery and very weak as she had significant blood loss. I and several other friends felt there were rather large red flags, my friend was so sure her h was having an affair but he gaslighted her to the point of making her feel crazy and jealous. He placated her and talked her into trying for another baby, they had a beautiful baby girl. He continued to have to rush back for work emergencies, (nope not life or death, not a surgeon or Doctor, if I remember right he was in finance) my friends gut was very strongly telling her that something was going on.
When her youngest dd was just over a year old she found out that he had a 'work wife' who he had been shagging for the last five years! The ow, was also married and going home to her dh and children every weekend! They were both selfish manipulative bastards! It was the OW dh who told my friend. That new years eve that he left her post miscarriage he had rushed back to spend it with his OW! This is obviously different but it does highlight the lengths some men will go to, to keep the status quo.
My Mum's best friends h left her for a younger woman, they had three kids together. For the first two years every contact was held at Mum's bf's house, as they had a very poorly ds together. He spent every Christmas, from Christmas Eve to boxing day with his kids and w (he never divorced her until recently) and every time he had contact and every Christmas they had sex. My Mum's bf did it to get her own back on h's partner at first, then it was more just the status quo.
He refused to have anymore dc with his younger dp as he was happy with the three he had. Tragically their ds tragically died when he was a teenager, his partner was at the funeral, she was a wonderful support to their surviving dc, she was very close to all of their dc but oblivious to the fact that the man she had given motherhood up to be with, was cheating on her throughout their relationship. She didn't complain when her partner and his ex (mums bf) held each other sobbing in the hospital as their ds was dying, or that they held hands and sobbed in each other's arms during the funeral. She looked after the dc, was there in the background and went home leaving the parents to support each other after the funeral. She was devastated too, she had been Step Mother(in every way but formally) for years, she grieved her stepson awfully. Five years ago, he finally divorced my Mum's bf, he came to her house and broke down saying he didn't want to do it, she was making him. They were married six months later. I heard last summer that his wife had left him, after falling in love with a man she met at the gym. I wish her every happiness. Not one Christmas did he spend with her, even when dc were older!
I hope she had a wonderful Christmas this year, she deserves to spend it with someone who loves her completely. It was sad for my Mums bf as in a sense she could never move on. My Mum always said that they adored each other but just couldn't live with each other. She never understood how her bf could continue to sleep with him. Apparently, he asked to move in with her after his DW left him, she said no, she couldn't trust him. He will have been at her house for Christmas again this year though.
I would hate for you to end up in a similar situation op! I know there are many differences but if he insists on spending Christmas with his dc every year, you may like in the story above, spend your best years in second place, whilst your dp gets the best of both worlds. You and your little boy deserve to be the centre of your dp's world. Alternative years and regular overnight contact needs to be arranged. Although if your dp doesn't change, you may be better leaving and finding a man who will put you first.