To think my 'lie-in' takes the piss?

[ifihadonlyknown]

DS is a crap sleeper and an early riser. I'm often up with him at half three. He's a happy. healthy boy but just crap at sleeping. I usually whisk him off (hes in with us atm) to the lounge and park him in front of the tv and feed him colossal amounts of milk to keep him quiet till a social hour and let the rest of the house sleep.In order to cope with this shitty routine I go to bed stupidly early and have no sort of social life or leisure activities-he's still small, it'll get better... Anyway, DH has finished work for Christmas and says he'll cover the baby and I should have a few drinks and relax for a change. I oblige and neck a fairly substantial amount of prosecco and its the best night i've had in about 2 years. DS wakes up at usual time, I play dead and sure enough DH gets up to him. great. Except he's talking in the loudest voice imaginable, to the point that I could narrate every fucking thing they are doing and I cant get back to sleep because of the noise. Then at 06:23 he brings DS into our bed so he can slap me in the face and pull my hair (as 8mo babies do) and proclaims that I've had my lie in and he's going to bed! I have to climb out of bed with Ds and head for lounge. He's snoring now. I'm up as usual with DS and a bit of a hangover wishing I'd not bothered and had an early night. Is it me?

That is useless. What time does you usually let the house sleep to (how long a lie in does your husband get?) and usually do you get to go back to bed at 6.30? I’m guessing not...
I hate this. I’ve given up making my husband so early mornings as then we can’t cope unless he goes back to bed for ages which ruins our day. I massively resent him for it and it’s not healthy for our marriage.
Boxing Day lie in for you? Explicit keep them quiet till 8am then husband to take them out for a couple of hours?

No DH is being a twat!! Same happen to me yesterday, I had a vomiting bug Friday night (caught from DD who had it Thursday) DH kindly offered to take DD out to the park so that I could go back to bed. 35 minutes they were gone I hadn't even nodded off, he entertained her downstairs for about 15 minutes before sending her up to see me. The thing that boils my piss most is that when DH had the same last week he needed 3 whole days off work & took to his bed for the duration!! They are dicks!!

No. It's not you. It's your expectation.

Your DH thought he was being helpful. He was but he could have been a lot more helpful. Your expectation was creating the 'more helpful ' scenario. Reality gage you the 'less helpful ' scenario.

It's like when my 19 year old daughter helpfully washes up. She creates more mess than I need and my expectation is that the kitchen will look like it does after ive washed up. It doesn't. I've learned to adjust my expectation 😂

Yeah, YANBU, that’s really inconsiderate of him.

No YANBU but I would actually clarify with DH what a lie in means. DH and I almost have a written contract for weekends which mean we are allowed to sleep in as long as we want on our day.

He probably feels he has done you a massive favour!

He's insensitive at best.

Tell him in clear uncertain terms that you wil be waking him at 6.30am next time every time.

You have to tell him. Don’t fester, tell the bastard.

No your DH is being a twat! Argh drives me crazy this kind of story.

I have a similar sleeper though his preferred wake up time is currently 5am which sounds luxurious compared to 3.30am! I normally do the same as you including early nights and quiet mornings. He was up every hour last night and I was feeling unwell all night (I also have the toddler in my bed so v uncomfortable) and when he work at 4.45am this morning I woke DH up at 5am and said I couldn't cope on such a small amount of sleep again today. I felt really guilty for this which I know is ridiculous

Anyway he immediately got up, took baby and kept him until just gone 7am when he only came back up because our toddler had got up and was calling him.

Is your DH likely to understand if you explain why that was a shit lie-in or will he get arsey?

I keep him quiet till DH gets up! 07:30 on a work day bloody 11:00 at the weekend! Its my fault I've always done it. If I had known I would be back 'on duty just after 6 (awake since 4ish) I would not have indulged in booze and a late night. Live and learn I suppose, Back to my 9pm bedtime...

Fuck that get back into bed with DS and wake dh up. He's had his lie in.

Have you got a tv in you bedroom? If so put that on and all lie in bed together.

If I were you I'd start hoovering the entire house. Make sure you bang into bedroom door a few times. And then play dumb....."but I have to get the house clean for tomorrow darling 😁"

He sleeps until 11 and thinks 6.30 is a lie in for you???
Go kick him in the backside and said he has had HIS lie in, you're going back to bed.

Why do you let him lie in until 11??? That seriously takes the piss! I'd put a stop to that pronto. Even when DH was hanging after his work Xmas party the latest I let him lie in was 7.30 (we too have a shit sleeper so the day starts for us at 4am usually).

YANBU - You're DH is a test.

But you need to sort out your DC's sleep out! He's getting up at 3am because you've enabled it.

Just stop being so considerate and do what he does.

grumble-that's brilliant! however DS has gone back to sleep now (if only I could) and I'm enjoying the peace. I have had issues with sleep since DS was born as I cant sleep during the day no matter how tired I am... buddy that up with a bit of OCD and anxiety and I was surviving on less that 3 hours for 4 months. I would hallucinate sometimes I was so tired. I absolutely, definitely could have slept till about 10 today though, I thought that's what I was getting , I was desperate for a deep booezy sleep. maybe next year...

Time for the household to wake at 6.30am every day from now on.

boozy sleep

3am is not early waking, it is waking in the middle of the night! Seriously, that needs sorting out for all your sakes. But yes, your DH is an utter twat.

smeaton-I work part time I'm sometimes getting him ready for nursery and heading out for a day of full on manual labour on very little sleep. I do all (every last fucking bit) of cooking, cleaning, laundry etc I'm a muppet aren't I?

"Then at 06:23 he brings DS into our bed so he can slap me in the face and pull my hair (as 8mo babies do) and proclaims that I've had my lie in and he's going to bed!"

What an absolute wanker!
It's not you. Fuck's sake.

Well DH has done it now and set the precedent of what time it’s officially morning.

Make sure you wake home at 6.23 every day over the holidays and beyond. When he asks why you’re waking him so early do remind him that 6.23. Is not early, it’s actually a lie in! Remind him of what a selfish prat he has just been all day today too.

Not a muppet no, but sounds like you need to reassess who does what!

You do all the early waking, all the wifework, AND you work?

What exactly does your gem of a husband do?