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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be fucking furious with DH??

84 replies

K1092902 · 24/12/2017 02:38

Was meant to be leaving for Scotland this morning to go to the in laws for Christmas

DH announces after work yesterday that he wanted to go out "with the boys from golf" tonight for xmas drink and a meal. I told him fine- but he was to deal with MIL and that he had to be home for 11pm as we are meant to be leaving at 5am.

Anyway he called MIL last night who was V upset- she has phoned umpteen times today but DH has been playing golf, had a few at the club and has gone into town. Last I heard from him was him saying that next doors wife would give me a lift to the club to pick up his car to load up it with the presents etc once DD was in bed and he would be home for midnight. Was pissed off, but let it go.

Anyway he hasn't answered his fucking phone since Xmas Angry- I know he isn't lying dead somewhere, as his friend has posted a video of him acting like a dickhead pissed as a fart on snapchat. This was 26 minutes ago.

I haven't fucking slept and it looks like im driving 6 hours to Scotland tomorrow.

The prick can sleep with his fucking mother when we get up there Xmas Angry

OP posts:
Wyrdesista · 24/12/2017 03:07

I’d be furious too! It’s incredibly inconsiderate of him, surely they could have had their night out way before this weekend? Is he always so selfish?

I think I would be driving to Scotland with dd in your situation and telling him to make his own way there.

Wineasaurous · 24/12/2017 03:09

Slay his hangover tomorrow. Strictly no napping in the car, loud, annoying music, sing along, drive over every bump and pothole you find, get lost, have fake engine trouble etc.

VladmirPoutine · 24/12/2017 03:13

I think I would be driving to Scotland with dd in your situation and telling him to make his own way there.

This may not have the desired effect. I'd personally relish an opportunity to stay home alone nursing my hangover, sleeping in late, eating some bacon sarnies at leisure and watching crap TV. It sounds decidedly marvellous than sitting in a car with a child and an annoyed spouse for 6-odd hours on a trip to Scotland.

OP, Yanbu, I too would be furious.

ShabbyNat · 24/12/2017 03:14

Has he got form for this??
If not, make your anger known, play loud Christmas music in the car on your journey, how old is your DD?? Can you get her in on a bit of punishment??
I think sometimes it`s better to let this go at the moment & save up the resentment to your better advantage in the very near future!!

HannaSolo · 24/12/2017 03:16

Well someone had to drive to Scotland, so tbh that's not a great argument.

On the other hand, not sharing the drive and sound so with a hungover vomit laden smelly DH is something with which you have my sympathy.

Advice is get some sleep yourself ready for the drive.

Play music loudly all the way as pp's suggested.

Don't apologise for his actions/state to his mother - just tell her what happened, Be matter of fact.

gingergenius · 24/12/2017 03:17

I bloody love not being married any more!!! Op you have my sympathies.

DonnyAndVladSittingInATree · 24/12/2017 03:18

Oh well, the consequences are that absolutely nothing will happen tomorrow unless he does it. So he has to get up, get packed, go and get the car, pack it all up and get everyone ready for the drive. Which can’t happen until his hangover has worn off. His fault. He can explain to his mother why you are late.

OhforfucksakeFay · 24/12/2017 03:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ElfOneself · 24/12/2017 03:25

The best way to spread Christmas cheer is singing loud for all to hear.

Christmas songs full blast, complete sing song for 6 hours seems only fair to me.

Luxanna · 24/12/2017 03:26

YANBU, I'd be livid. What a selfish bugger.

Driving to Scotland with little sleep, don't envy you that, be safe and try not to let His Knobheadness ruin you Christmas.

Original poster
K1092902 · 24/12/2017 03:26

To be fair he goes on very very rarely and does work hard to provide for us and DSDs offered to babysit so i could go to a friend's drink party but didn't think he would take the piss! Nearly 3.30 and still no sign- although his mate was in a cab home 45 minutes ago according to snapchat!

Oh well. DD is awake and over excited already so he will be made up when he hears her screaming DADDDDDYYYY when he stumbles through the door Grin

practices cross face

OP posts:
brizzledrizzle · 24/12/2017 03:27

YANBU. You need to play him Dominic the Italian Christmas donkey and st Winifred's choir on repeat for hours. Yy to making him explain to his mum.

RemainOptimistic · 24/12/2017 03:28

Agree it's up to DH to explain to his DM why he and his family won't be arriving on time tomorrow. Donny and Ohfor have it spot on.

It's self inflicted, why cover for him?

RadioGaGoo · 24/12/2017 03:29

I think OhforfucksakeFay has the right idea!

AstridWhite · 24/12/2017 03:30

Well someone had to drive to Scotland, so tbh that's not a great argument.

Yes but the could at least have shared it. Now the OP has to do all of it as I doubt, given they were due to leave at 5am, he'll be in any fit state to share even the second half. If he's been drinking into the early hours he'll still be well over the limit by lunchtime. Not ideal when the weather might be dreadful and the traffic awful.

Reality is that the OP isn't going anywhere at 5am now, so I hope her DH gets it in the neck from his parents when they are really late. Pulling these stunts is never great but doing it when he knows it messes up the holiday/travel/Christmas plans for his family makes him a selfish prick.

Original poster
K1092902 · 24/12/2017 03:31

We can't even delay leaving. His nan is coming for lunch tomorrow at 1 aqnd MIL will have his bollocks if he misses seeing her as she is 96 so doubtful she has many Christmases left Xmas Sad

OP posts:
notsodimwit · 24/12/2017 03:31

Why are men sooo selfishConfused..just take you time driving as the roads are pretty busy this time of year love...and make sure you have a lovely christmas...or leave him to sleep hangover off and I'll come to scotland with you Xmas Smile

AstridWhite · 24/12/2017 03:32

OP you have barely slept all night and you have drive for six hours? ShockHmm

AstridWhite · 24/12/2017 03:35

Well if you miss lunch with grandma thats just tough. Its his problem, not yours. You need to get some rest or no-ones getting threes one piece anyway. Right now its a toss up between his drunk driving or you falling asleep at the wheel. Hmm

AstridWhite · 24/12/2017 03:35

there in one piece

Gaudeamus · 24/12/2017 04:13

Do you actually want to go to Scotland? You're sounding far more tolerant than I would be so maybe you're still up for the drive, but on less than 2hr sleep I'd just call it off. Spend tomorrow getting together a decent enough Christmas day for your little one and leave it entirely up to your husband to deal with everyone he's disappointed.

It sounds important to spend time with the ILs at some point, so he can also sort out a way to see family in the coming weeks and apologise in person.

I don't mean this to be vindictive - just that at this point it's neither safe nor fair for you to take on all the preparations and driving. I'd cut my losses and postpone travel for a time when your H can do his bit.

I hope you have a happy Christmas, wherever you are!

JaneEyre70 · 24/12/2017 04:31

I wouldn't do it OP. I'd stay home and let him deal with the consequences of his actions. He can explain to his family why you've not slept and neither of you are safe to drive.

GlitteryFluff · 24/12/2017 04:31

What an arse.

blueskyinmarch · 24/12/2017 04:55

Will he even be home for a 5am departure? I assume the car isn't even at your house. How will you manage to go and get it?

mogulfield · 24/12/2017 05:04

Are you on your way to Scotland?!