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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be fucking furious with DH??

84 replies

K1092902 · 24/12/2017 02:38

Was meant to be leaving for Scotland this morning to go to the in laws for Christmas

DH announces after work yesterday that he wanted to go out "with the boys from golf" tonight for xmas drink and a meal. I told him fine- but he was to deal with MIL and that he had to be home for 11pm as we are meant to be leaving at 5am.

Anyway he called MIL last night who was V upset- she has phoned umpteen times today but DH has been playing golf, had a few at the club and has gone into town. Last I heard from him was him saying that next doors wife would give me a lift to the club to pick up his car to load up it with the presents etc once DD was in bed and he would be home for midnight. Was pissed off, but let it go.

Anyway he hasn't answered his fucking phone since Xmas Angry- I know he isn't lying dead somewhere, as his friend has posted a video of him acting like a dickhead pissed as a fart on snapchat. This was 26 minutes ago.

I haven't fucking slept and it looks like im driving 6 hours to Scotland tomorrow.

The prick can sleep with his fucking mother when we get up there Xmas Angry

OP posts:
StripySocksAndDocs · 24/12/2017 05:07

Is it really a one off on selfish behaviour?

If you haven't slept you can't drive safely. Though will anyone accept that as an a valid reason? Or will they say you're the selfish one? You're the one who has ruined Christmas? Meaning you'll do the drive anyway.

Mind you it sounds like you will anyway so makes no odds.

FirsttimemumJan18 · 24/12/2017 05:16

Is he home yet?!

lunar1 · 24/12/2017 05:21

Is he even home yet?

TammySwansonTwo · 24/12/2017 05:28

Guessing you may be driving by now - just confirming that he's a selfish prick, and clearly making sure he was there to see his very elderly grandmother wasn't important to him at all. There are no words for how livid I would be if my DH put me in this position.

hungryhippo90 · 24/12/2017 06:01

Ooh ooh, get him to check mumsnet on the way. Haha. Make him read your replies to you!
Pretty selfish behaviour on his part

Original poster
K1092902 · 24/12/2017 06:32

Twat strolled in 30 minutes ago Angry

Off to get some sleep and leaving after lunch as MIL has agreed to 're arrange plans.

This is going to be a fun Christmas Xmas Hmm

OP posts:
JediStoleMyBike · 24/12/2017 06:45

What a twat. I'd refuse to go at this point and let him deal with the consequences. Seems to be too many people prepared to rearrange stuff around him. Sorry you've had to deal with him OP.

MaximaDeWit · 24/12/2017 06:45

Unbelievable!

The worst thing is, he's not only ruined plans for himself and his immediate family but for everyone you're planning to meet in Scotland!

Do try not to let it ruin your Christmas tho, OP. It's done now, he's most definitely a dick but at least he has been such a spectacular dick you don't have to do the drive at 5am yourself having had no sleep. He did you a favour there in a weird way. The blame will be 100% on him.

Makingahome · 24/12/2017 06:52

I'd be ltb if mine ever pulled a stunt like this.

AstridWhite · 24/12/2017 06:53

Jedi I know it's tempting to say that but the children are expecting to go now and the OP won't have anything in for Christmas dinner or Boxing Day so it will probably make for an even shittier Christmas and a horribly disappointed MIL if she refuses to go. None of this is their fault.

There is going to be one hell of an atmosphere on that car journey though. I'd be ready to explode with rage and once we were safely home again post-Christmas, I'd be having a conversation about the future of my marriage.

Belleende · 24/12/2017 06:58

What a total cock. I would also not be going to Scotland and making him take the rap. He has only done this as he knows that he can get away with it. He needs to feel the full consequence of his actions, or he will just do it again.

JediStoleMyBike · 24/12/2017 06:59

Agreed Astrid. I think I threw my toys out of the pram on the OP's behalf Xmas Grin

DeepanKrispanEven · 24/12/2017 07:00

Why was your MIL phoning home rather than phoning her idiot son direct?

ItsNiceItsDifferentItsUnusual · 24/12/2017 07:01

I hope he's really, really embarrassed when he sobers up. His entire family knows he got so pissed he didn't come home until well after you were meant to have left. Honestly, what an utter twat. What on earth was he thinking?

I'm glad you're delaying leaving. I know you're in a difficult situation but you really shouldn't have driven on no sleep. It's not fair on the other people on the road (I'm sleep deprived due to a non sleeping baby - and I didn't take a long journey I was meant to this week).

cherrycola2004 · 24/12/2017 07:02

Absolute massive twat!!!

Hope you can get some sleep and drive isn't too bad. Make sure he drives all the way home!

Take care out there Thanks

IfYouDontImagineNothingHappens · 24/12/2017 07:03

I wouldn't be going. You haven't had nearly enough sleep. What an arse

AstridWhite · 24/12/2017 07:09

What pisses me off is that so many men give themselves permission to behave like this in the run up to important events because they know that their wife/partner is going to move mountains to make everything go smoothly and harmoniously in spite of him, and do her best to cover for his general crapness, for the sake of everyone else who would otherwise be affected by his fuckwittery. He knows he can get away with it because as a mother, she's not going to just cancel Christmas in a fit of pique. She's thinking of the children and the general fallout with the rest of the family. HIS family, in this case.

Frankly OP I'd be tempted to bundle the children in the car the minute you are rested enough to drive and go without him, the fucker. Leave him to sleep it off and wake up at teatime to find you gone.

Let him scrabble around for a train at the last minute (good luck with that on Christmas Eve) or miss Christmas with his own family. He deserves nothing less.

IrritatedUser1960 · 24/12/2017 07:18

What an absolute asshat. My 35 year old son would never behave like that.

Peachyking000 · 24/12/2017 07:18

Please try and find a Disney Christmas music CD and encourage DC to have a singalong

Nanna50 · 24/12/2017 07:35

What a twat my DH spoiled our Christmas plans once by getting pissed but not on this scale. There is no way I would have collected the car, never mind packed it and I would not be driving him to his family. Sorry but he has to take responsibility for being a twat, his mother rearranging Christmas, his wife packing the car and driving is letting him off the hook, even if it's a one off. He's not a naughty boy who needs rescuing.
My DH got very pissed the night before a family day out which included a cinema visit that the children were looking forward too. He was forced to sit through the latest Christmas film with a hangover. That was about 20 years ago it was enough to totally piss me off and he was sorry enough never to do it again.
YANBU to be fuming but he should change the plans and sort out the mess and take responsibility for fucking up, otherwise the resentment will seep into your whole Christmas.
Flowers

hidinginthenightgarden · 24/12/2017 07:39

Very disrespectful. I hope his mother rips him a new one when you arrive.

Situp · 24/12/2017 07:41

Feeling angry for you just reading this.

I do think that the women take on so much of the responsibility of Christmas that our partners often don't appreciate how much work it is and just do their own thing.

Obviously that is a generalisation and not all relationships are like this but I know if I got shitfaced on Christmas eve, Christmas just wouldn't happen whereas DH is able to do this knowing that I will have everything covered Confusedby the

Nanna50 · 24/12/2017 07:42

I agree with Astrid if you actually want to go leave him behind, don't make excuses, let him explain.

ifihadonlyknown · 24/12/2017 08:00

bloody awful behaviour. Something my DH would do though, He's an arsehole too.

diddl · 24/12/2017 08:14

Have I misread the op?

It reads to e as if initial plans didn't change so there was nothing to tell her.

I agree he was very rude but if his mum was told that you would be there a few hrs later than planned, I don't get all the upset & repeated phoning from her.

Hope that you all get there safely.

Does he even want Christmas with his mum?

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