Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be fucking furious with DH??

84 replies

K1092902 · 24/12/2017 02:38

Was meant to be leaving for Scotland this morning to go to the in laws for Christmas

DH announces after work yesterday that he wanted to go out "with the boys from golf" tonight for xmas drink and a meal. I told him fine- but he was to deal with MIL and that he had to be home for 11pm as we are meant to be leaving at 5am.

Anyway he called MIL last night who was V upset- she has phoned umpteen times today but DH has been playing golf, had a few at the club and has gone into town. Last I heard from him was him saying that next doors wife would give me a lift to the club to pick up his car to load up it with the presents etc once DD was in bed and he would be home for midnight. Was pissed off, but let it go.

Anyway he hasn't answered his fucking phone since Xmas Angry- I know he isn't lying dead somewhere, as his friend has posted a video of him acting like a dickhead pissed as a fart on snapchat. This was 26 minutes ago.

I haven't fucking slept and it looks like im driving 6 hours to Scotland tomorrow.

The prick can sleep with his fucking mother when we get up there Xmas Angry

OP posts:
foreverHoldYourPiece · 24/12/2017 09:11

I'd be disappointed too that any of my adult friends used Snapchat.

TammySwansonTwo · 24/12/2017 09:15

I would be so angry in your position - I do hope your MIL is fully aware of the reasons behind the delay and it's not landing on you? This is just the height of selfishness. No one needs to stay out until after 6am, certainly not parents who have responsibilities and plans with their families.

RandyMarsh · 24/12/2017 09:23

Ah yes this happened to me several years ago too.

Driving south from Scotland, husband drank too much on last day at work. We were leaving that night and had agreed to share the driving.

I then had to listen to him rant on for pretty much the entire journey about how he was fine to drive amongst a torrent of other things. I recorded him on my phone and I was so fucking angry and I knew he would deny behaving like that.

He ruined Xmas that year. We subsequently nearly split up over that and him generally being a total cock who drank too much and had a massive inferiority complex.

We are still together after lots of therapy. He is a very different person these days.

OP if this is a one off and he is otherwise a good egg then try not to let this ruin your Xmas. However, if he has form for acting like a selfish prick, as mine did, then perhaps time to reevaluate things.

starzig · 24/12/2017 09:25

Tell him you don't feel well enough to drive (true cause of lack of sleep and that is dangerous) and as he can't drive, the trip will need cancelled. Make him think twice on other occasions. My DH drives the whole way but I would never drink the night before in case he needs me too.

Thedietstartsnow · 24/12/2017 09:52

Don't drive on no sleep.thats risking your life and everyone else on the road..spend today getting food in for a day at home tomorrow,go to visit another time

BewareOfDragons · 24/12/2017 09:57

I wouldn't go. Sorry. I just wouldn't. It's Christmas Eve and I would not spend the morning fuming then the afternoon stressed out and doing all the driving into the evening/dark just to arrive to have to b sociable with the twat and his family. Because you know he won't be legal to drive today. Twat.

I would let him explain it to his mother and his nan I would let him explain it to the kids. And make sure they all knew that this is entirely on his shitty behaviour.

And I would make the best of Christmas at home this year for my kids.

Good luck, OP. I wouldn't martyr yourself getting everyone up there for him. I just wouldn't.

Mumoftwoyoungkids · 24/12/2017 09:57

OP if this is a one off and he is otherwise a good egg then try not to let this ruin your Xmas. However, if he has form for acting like a selfish prick, as mine did, then perhaps time to reevaluate things.

This is the poster whose husband kicked out his pregnant teenager and then when Op left to go to her parents with her toddler and the pregnant teenager came round behaving violently.

gingergenius · 24/12/2017 10:00

@Mumoftwoyoungkids definitely not what would be considered a good egg then!

YouTheCat · 24/12/2017 10:00

Wait till he's sober then tell him he can bloody well go to his mother's and stay there. You need rid of this arse.

MissClarke86 · 24/12/2017 10:00

I’d have just made him go anyway. He could have a lovely enjoyable 6 hour car journey with a hangover!

MsGameandWatching · 24/12/2017 10:04

I wouldn't go. When ex used to behave like this I did not pick up the pieces and any arrangements just be cancelled. By him. My involvement finished once he started that behaviour. Sadly somehow it was always my fault and his family blamed me but I soon stopped caring about that.

diddl · 24/12/2017 10:09

"This is the poster whose husband kicked out his pregnant teenager and then when Op left to go to her parents with her toddler and the pregnant teenager came round behaving violently."

How awful.

I'd leave him to go to his mum's when he's ready & have a lovely Christmas without him!

OnTheRise · 24/12/2017 10:33

I wouldn't go to Scotland.

It's too far to travel with a man who obviously puts himself before all of you, and will be in a vile mood because of his hangover.

Do some quick shopping today so you can have a nice lunch tomorrow, make the best of the day, and start working out how to make things better in the long term.

CocaColaTruck · 24/12/2017 11:22

Don't go, OP. Send him and have Christmas in your own home without the prick.

RandyMarsh · 24/12/2017 11:26

"This is the poster whose husband kicked out his pregnant teenager and then when Op left to go to her parents with her toddler and the pregnant teenager came round behaving violently."

Oh, I didn't realise that. Well in that case fuck him. You should go straight to your parents without him.

Motoko · 24/12/2017 11:26

This is the poster whose husband kicked out his pregnant teenager and then when Op left to go to her parents with her toddler and the pregnant teenager came round behaving violently.

Oh, he's that dickhead. I don't understand why OP's still with him. She's posted a few threads about him.

swingofthings · 24/12/2017 11:35

He better have a very nice Christmas present for you! I'd be livid. It's one thing to go out and lose track of time, but for one there is a limit to how much time is lost, but most importantly, not to answer your calls is totally out of order.

Bad bad hubby!

user1471432735 · 24/12/2017 11:44

why are you still giving this arsehole chances OP. You seem lovely and he seems like someone who would beat up a beggar and steal their change for a laugh.

You deserve so much better and he's a twat

VeganIan · 24/12/2017 11:55

Is this going to be another one of those threads the OP posts and never comes back to?

How is the pregnant DSD? What ever happened with the restaurant bill? Where is your other DSD's car?

Bobbiepin · 24/12/2017 11:56

OK regardless of your history with this guy I can't get over the fact that this may well be the last time he sees his nan and he pulls a stunt like this. That speaks volumes to me, I hope it does to you too.

wineusuallyhelps · 24/12/2017 12:03

What @Bobbiepin said. That was a low point for me when I read your posts @K1092902. I hope you can still enjoy some of your Christmas...somehow Thanks

Dailystuck71 · 24/12/2017 12:12

I’d be in a fit of rage. Don’t go. As someone else said let him explain to all why you aren’t in Scotland. Sorry OP that you are having to deal with this.

StaplesCorner · 24/12/2017 12:22

well this is going to keep giving and giving isn't it - he showed you exactly who he was earlier this year, you accepted it as you will accept this. Your marriage is beyond saving unless you want to put up with this outrageous behaviour over and over, for 40 years.

ChasedByBees · 24/12/2017 12:23

At this point, I wouldn't go. He's put you in a situation where you have to do all the driving and totally ruined the day.

LakieLady · 24/12/2017 12:52

YANBU, he's an arsehole and I wouldn't go either.

Go and grab what you need for a nice day tomorrow and stay home with the kids. Let him go to Scotland on his own and change the locks* while he's there. Angry

*(I know that's not legal, but it bloody well ought to be)