to still be upset about the unwanted touching my friends and I got last night

[ilovewelshrarebit123]

We're three late forties women who went out for our annual Christmas drinks last night.

As it was the last Friday before Christmas we knew it would be busy and people would be drunk, but we couldn't meet any other night so went with it.

We weren't out looking for men, we just wanted a catch up, a giggle and a good gossip!

In the space of five hours all three of us were inappropriately touched by men. I had my breast touched by a man who decided I had something on my black top so he wanted to 'rub' it off. There was nothing on my top and he was told not to touch me. I was called a 'miserable bitch'.

My friend had her bottom touched twice by the same man. This was while he passed by her and she asked him politely not to touch her.

Other friend was pushed into a corner and grabbed round her waist. Again he was asked not to touch her which was met with indignation that she was a boring cow!

If we managed to find a seat to chat men would tell us we were boring, smile etc

Why do we put up with this shit? Why do some men think they have the right to do and say crap like this to three women out for drink and chat!

All three of us just shrugged it off at the time, but we've since had a text convo agreeing it's just sad and not on.

Anyway, rant over and merry Christmas everyone!

Those who minimised it derailed it.

Who minimised it?

marriedwithchildren you’re either being a goady fucker or are ignorant about sexual assault.

It is not up to victims to “be the change” (wtf?) by responding the way ignorant people think we should by confronting the man, and doing so often increases the immediate danger.

The change needs to be men not harassing or assaulting women and the law reliably punishing those who do.

No I'm not at all. I've agreed with the fact I should/could look at things differently. You're a little late with your goady fucker comment!

Believe it or not we were not face down drunk in the street, puking our guts up when we were having a nice night out on the town and the boys didn’t have their hands down our knickers. It seems many men have lost respect for women

Stupid women. All your fault men assault you. Why don't you just act demurely and this wouldn't happen.

Only yourself to blame, right?

Charolais, I have to say I don't share your memories of the good old days. Sexual harassment and assault has featured in my life for five decades.

Charolais, I have to say I don't share your memories of the good old days. Sexual harassment and assault has featured in my life for five decades.

100% agree, my childhood was blighted by it in the 70s and 80s.

Charolais we can all look back wearing our rose tinted glasses and claim things were so much better its a world wide phenomenon

The issue is about men sexually assaulting women not how women act or what they say wear or do as it has always gone on and now many women are speaking out and saying no more

When I was young in the 80’s being sexually assaulted was called being touched up by a man who had wondering hands often laughed at as he was a silly fool. Sexually harassment was by those poor loves that didn’t quite understand social etiquette or were showing off in front of their mates. Men that raped were often confused after all she was flirting with him what was he expected to think

Attitudes are changing yet there is resistance which should never be accepted

Who minimised it? A few minimised Rwalker's experience.

I can't see those few. Which posters were they?

apologies for the wording of my post when said "even things up" was trying to say happens to men as well as women .I wasn't bother so that why my post was so flipant .But just because I wasn't doesn't mean it right

Good for you. It's so important that when women are distressed by harassment they hear stories from men who aren't.

Imagine if they also forgot that it happens to men! What an outrage that would be.

rwalker, I asked my question because I wondered if men often feel emboldened to grab the bodies of other male strangers? How would you feel if your balls were cupped by a bloke who was much bigger and stronger than you? What wording would you use to let him down gently? Could you get the balance right and decline with a look that was appeasing enough that he wouldn't start snarling that he was going to rip your bollocks off, or threatening to follow you down the street; but firm enough to achieve the desired objective of making him go away and leave you alone?

ashamed to say never thought of it from that point of view .
the women in the pub very pissed kept grabbing guys and going wayhey there was only one guy had got pissed off and didn't find it funny but a few did say can you imagine if a guy did that to a woman . Going back to your point think the difference none of us felt threaten and in control so found it funny.

think the difference none of us felt threaten and in control so found it funny.

Bingo. There's the difference between flirting/bantering and harassment.

You weren't fussed. You felt in control. Maybe you even enjoyed the attention?

So not only does this once in a blue moon occurrence of being groped in a bar not even come close to a standard night in a bar for woman, it's not even remotely similar in levels of distress because you "weren't fussed and found it funny". This is why people took exception to your 'to even things up' comment.

Powershowerforanhour's post is excellent. I hope it has helped you see things from this side, and that you'll share that analogy with men in your circles who say 'I was just flirting' or 'I'd love it if a woman touched me up like that' or worse.

Excellent post ChristmasEnthusiast.