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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

That it’s a bit weird when men post on this forum?

177 replies

Bringbeboback · 22/12/2017 09:18

I get the times where a male might use Mumsnet for some female perspective on things like relationship problems. But I find it weird when men post on random topics. For example there was one about chocolate bars recently and a man was on there talking about what he likes and what his wife likes. Is there not a male equivalent forum?

OP posts:
StripySocksAndDocs · 22/12/2017 09:41

I suppose there are men who:

don't have hand-ups about 'being a man' (for want of a better phrase) so will post on a 'forum for women'
aren't self-conscious about how other people view them
happened upon here for whatever reason read a few things, like it, stayed.

I think you'd be that unreasonable to be surprised at men posting - it being small in number (or appearing to be), but if you think it weird or wrong YABU.

MakeUpMyRoom · 22/12/2017 09:42

What? There are men here? I thought the internet was my female safe space.

There should be a trigger warning if men are around!

I think the funniest bit about men being here is how posters start using male pronouns and passive aggressive "s/he" when someone disagrees with them. It's the frequent posting anti-trans mouthy feminists who do it most.

Is there not a male equivalent forum?

Men have far better things to do than discuss the cringyness of a nappy advert or debate nighttime toilet flushing or be "beyond livid" because of a minor transgression by their inlaws.

StripySocksAndDocs · 22/12/2017 09:42

*I don't think you'd be that unreasonable to be surprised at men posting.

Hoppinggreen · 22/12/2017 09:44

I don’t think that men posting is odd but I do when an American Student or similar does.
I don’t understand the logic behind “ I hate my flat mate so I will see what a load of strangers on a parenting website on the other side of the world think about it”
I don’t mind it, I just think it’s weird

Trills · 22/12/2017 09:44

I don't think that opinions on chocolate bars need to be separated by gender, personally.

cocoboots · 22/12/2017 09:45

Most posters on here aren't even parents (I'm not, yet)
No problem with men on here. Only thing I wouldn't be too keen on, which happened on another forum I was a member of, was certain male members getting involved in threads about women's health issues. I wouldn't comment on an issue about someone's penis for example.

Trills · 22/12/2017 09:46

Men do not have "Better" things to do.

Things that women do are just seen as more frivolous than things that men do.

Sali Hughes says it better than me

WhatADoozy · 22/12/2017 09:46

Doesn't bother me.

Are you being serious? Ffs feminism really is turning into man-hating unless you’re just stuck so far behind in the stone ages where men shouldn’t go near the ladies for fear of offending them

Please don't conflate this attitude with feminism. It's not.

I am a feminist and I have no issue at all with men being here.

I have an issue with some people being dicks on here, but that's not the same thing at all.

JacquesHammer · 22/12/2017 09:47

Men have far better things to do than discuss the cringyness of a nappy advert or debate nighttime toilet flushing or be "beyond livid" because of a minor transgression by their inlaws

Yeah. Funny why so many women get bogged down in the "wifework" because "men have better things to do" Hmm

morningconstitutional2017 · 22/12/2017 09:49

Well, I don't object, I'm not a mum and I also go on Gransnet, being a woman of a certain age. If there was a male equivalent I'd probably lurk on there too as it's always interesting to get a different perspective. It's not like conversations are exclusively male or female. We all need to share things nicely, don't we?

nornironlady · 22/12/2017 09:49

I think it's a pity there aren't more sites/forums/services available for men. I say they are welcome. It's always good to hear opinions/issues from a different perspective especially as I feel some posters can get quite catty even aggressive/argumentative on AIBU.

FizzyGreenWater · 22/12/2017 09:50

No I don't think it's strange - it might still be called 'Mumsnet' but it's a hugely popular, well known forum. There are loads of non-parents on here too.

gamerwidow · 22/12/2017 09:51

I like to see men on here as long as they are not MRA trolls. In real life men and women talk to each other and like each other. Why wouldn’t we want to all have a chat together on here?

PurpleDaisies · 22/12/2017 09:51

I think it's a pity there aren't more sites/forums/services available for men.

Aren’t men able to set up websites/forums/services then? Confused

FizzyGreenWater · 22/12/2017 09:52

Are you being serious? Ffs feminism really is turning into man-hating unless you’re just stuck so far behind in the stone ages where men shouldn’t go near the ladies for fear of offending them

Don't be a mindless twat - it's a pretty reasonable question simply from a linguistic point of view, ie it's called Mumsnet.

Unless of course it's made your day finding a thread you can take a pop at FEMINISTS on, in which case crack on twatty bum Grin

53rdWay · 22/12/2017 09:53

Men have IMPORTANT MAN THINGS to do, don’t you know! Grin

I don’t care that much about men posting on here, but you do end up with some odd dynamics when there are a few men in a majority-women group. It’s cringeworthy watching hordes of obsequious admirers rallying around the “Man here! Let me set you straight, ladies...” types, reassuring the poor beleaguered man that not all of us are evil feminist man-haters like those witches over there.

Sparklingbrook · 22/12/2017 09:54

Depends what they are posting about TBH.

53rdWay · 22/12/2017 09:54

I think it's a pity there aren't more sites/forums/services available for men.

That’s 95% of the Internet!

Indigo911 · 22/12/2017 09:54

It depends on what they post about on here. If they were joining discussions about periods or making sexist comments in general then i’d tell them to fuck off. But otherwise I don’t really care. There are a lot of annoying women on here too but on the whole I think it’s a really supportive forum for anyone who wants to post

ExConstance · 22/12/2017 09:55

Please don't upset PigletJohn, we would be totally lost without him!

DistanceCall · 22/12/2017 09:56

Yes, because men are a completely different species, aren't they, OP?

For fuck's sake.

gamerwidow · 22/12/2017 09:56

I don’t want to come over all Matt Damon but I wouldn’t want to punish all men just because of the actions of some men. If you are a man and you want to come and chat and treat everyone as equals then I welcome you.

DistanceCall · 22/12/2017 09:57

Oh, and it's called Mumsnet and I'm no mum. Should I get my coat then?

IamSpartacusTheGardener · 22/12/2017 09:57

By my username you can tell where I'm coming from and I am arguing passionately in defence of women's safe spaces, women's rights and the problems inherent in self identification wherever I go.

Actually, it depends which posts you add to. I've been active in gardening and sex Wink

StrawBasket · 22/12/2017 09:57

I think it's weird when people have issues with men or women.

It's quite sad how badly men can be treated when they are unlucky to be a single parent, after their wife left or died. They are looking with suspicion in children's group, tutted at in baby clinic, not allowed on some internet parenting group. I was shocked by some of the reactions when I went to various baby places with hubby because he was a man. He happened to be a parent too...

Luckily most people are reasonable, but there are some very unpleasant women around.