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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Christmas visitors and bugs

112 replies

Pinkpeanut27 · 21/12/2017 18:10

Ok I'm freaking out just had a call to say one of my Xmas guests who is currently on holiday has gone down with terrible d and v which they are putting down to some vegetable soup . They come Xmas eve .
AIBU to say they need to be 48 hours clear before they come ?
We are going away on 27 th so getting sick would spoil it . I have 3 kids and we are all going to be bunched up sharing rooms and the bathroom .

OP posts:
Fireandflames666 · 21/12/2017 18:40

I wouldn't let them come at all. If it's Norovirus then your whole party could go down with it. It is extreme contagious and they can carry the virus after they're better.

viques · 21/12/2017 18:47

Not unreasonable. I am about to warn my Boxing Day host that I probably won't be coming because I have brought back a real stinker of a cold from abroad and I know that one of the other invitees is severely immune suppressed. I will miss seeing everyone but won't risk someone else's health for the sake of an afternoon .

Original poster
Pinkpeanut27 · 21/12/2017 18:50

So they are claiming it was bad mushroom
Soup even though they had eaten there the night before .
It's my sil and niece who live some
E distance away from
Each other meeting up at ours for 2 days over Xmas . If my niece doesn't come she will spend Xmas alone .
My sil tried to come 2 yrs ago with the same but I had to say no and nobody could believe why I was being so freaky about it and they went to stay with someone else ( not an option this time )

Last time my ds got ill at a family party I packed up and left at 8 pm and cancelled our Xmas plans with my family until I knew he was 48 hours clear and his tummy was normal . So I'd cancel .

OP posts:
JaneEyre70 · 21/12/2017 18:50

There is a particularly nasty form of Norovirus doing the rounds atm, and I'd steer well clear of anyone that has had it for a good week let alone 48 hours. If you're going away, I'd say it's not worth the risk.

Original poster
Pinkpeanut27 · 21/12/2017 18:53

Would you be offended if a host asked you not to come ?

OP posts:
Supermagicsmile · 21/12/2017 18:55

SHould be okay by Sunday if she's stopped with the d and v now!

Mrscog · 21/12/2017 18:58

If you were t going away I think I’d say you could be a bit flexible on 48 hours, but if your going away I think I would exercise more caution.

LashingsOfHamAndGingerBeer · 21/12/2017 19:01

Definitely 100% not BU to ask them not to come.

Original poster
Pinkpeanut27 · 21/12/2017 19:01

She hasn't stopped

OP posts:
Original poster
Pinkpeanut27 · 21/12/2017 19:04

It's just started today . I'm
Massively phobic about this and am already yelling at the kids for no reason as I'm so stressed about it .
This guest is always ill when she visits and we always end up getting it . Colds etc I can manage but this not .

OP posts:
Rachie1986 · 21/12/2017 19:08

Argh this is my worst nightmare. I'd tell them not to come but I'm an emetophobe so not always reasonable on such matters..

Aragog · 21/12/2017 19:08

Well, 48 hours clear is what we go by for schools and hospitals, so you could go with that - and maintain good hygiene throughout. So. if arriving on Christmas Eve they need to have stopped today. Though, I am a bit more lax when it comes to people I want to see coming to visit and would go with 24 hours personally - but we aren't really ones who pick up everything going generally - think i am immune to lots of stuff due to working with little children!

Could SIL and niece not arrange to meet up together if they have both suffered with the same illness?

It's one of the reasons why I wish I was breaking up from school a bit earlier than tomorrow. So many of the children have been ill - I am positive there are going to be several ill people (children and staff) on Christmas Day this year! I am just hoping its not me!

MrsBonato · 21/12/2017 19:12

Don't think you're being unreasonable op. I'm absolutely paranoid about bugs of any kind at this time of year, like you stressed. Me and DS have spent the week indoors, and no visitors. Dreading DH arriving home tomorrow in case he's carrying anything. So no, I wouldn't be allowing anyone with d and v within the last few days into my house.

Camelsinthegobi · 21/12/2017 19:17

YANBU. DS and DH had d and v before last Christmas. I scrubbed, cleaned, quarantined and antibacced. We had 48 hours clear of the last vomiting and so all our visitors came (having been pre-warned). We all got it over Christmas and it was horrendous. So YANBU.

Original poster
Pinkpeanut27 · 21/12/2017 19:19

They are meeting up else where on Boxing Day so it's only Xmas day and Xmas eve . sil was ill 2 yrs ago but I say it's her dd she should go stay with her and nurse her . My kids will be upset as they live guests at Xmas
I think I am an emetaphobe as well I just can't deal with it I'm really panicking .

OP posts:
Candlelight234 · 21/12/2017 19:19

YADNBU.
I told my brother and his wife and kids not to come last year as 1 had d&v. At first they insisted one of them had eaten something funny, but one by one they all came down with it a day later. Was so glad I asked them not to come even though it was awkward.

LucheroTena · 21/12/2017 19:27

YANBU. I can't understand why people are so quick to call these symptoms food poisoning and that noroviruses don't seem to cross their mind. Especially as the latter is so much more likely.

Original poster
Pinkpeanut27 · 21/12/2017 19:32

I'm really shocked that I'm not considered unreasonable just told my DH who thinks I'm ridiculous .

OP posts:
NeedsAsockamnesty · 21/12/2017 19:35

Yanbu
I’ve cancelled arrangements due to Noro before and been hassled by people for doing so it would be great to have a host echo my thoughts

Fireandflames666 · 21/12/2017 19:37

He won't think you're being ridiculous when you've saved him from evacuating from both holes violently for 24 hours or more.

ClaryFray · 21/12/2017 19:42

Are you an emetophobe OP? Me too.

I'd tell her not to come. Just say you have plans after Xmas as really don't want to risk you all getting sick. Say sooner rather than later so they can get food in and such.

WendyLikesSaltyTruffles · 21/12/2017 19:44

Oh dear. Cancel the visit. 100% . We've all had it. It's pretty bad!
I wonder if it might be kinder to say that you have actually come down with an awful bug? Be such a shame to spred the contagion around your guests..

Original poster
Pinkpeanut27 · 21/12/2017 19:44

He will be totally shocked it could happen . And take to his bed until new year leaving me with the kids the mess the cleaning as I can't really isolate a guest like a child and if I do said guest will be in my dds room who will be upset and I will have to bleach and boil wash her whole room including curtains on Boxing Day
The thing is she will say she is ok and will take Imodium .
I've always found with mine they are often sick again after the 48 hour window and tne runs lasts 5 days so they are of school a week .

OP posts:
Original poster
Pinkpeanut27 · 21/12/2017 19:47

Can't say we are ill they would come .
If we are going away at Xmas I always get a full Xmas dinner in just in case ! We eat it over New Year if we manage to go away .

OP posts:
Rossigigi · 21/12/2017 19:53

'No no no no no you are not staying! Is what your text should read.
It's really inconsiderate of anyone to assume they can stay somewhere with d and v and pass it on to everyone else (which they will without a shadow of a doubt).
You have to be cruel to be kind for the sake of all your health.