Christmas visitors and bugs

[Pinkpeanut27]

Ok I'm freaking out just had a call to say one of my Xmas guests who is currently on holiday has gone down with terrible d and v which they are putting down to some vegetable soup . They come Xmas eve .
AIBU to say they need to be 48 hours clear before they come ?
We are going away on 27 th so getting sick would spoil it . I have 3 kids and we are all going to be bunched up sharing rooms and the bathroom .

you need to make dh think it will be worse upsetting you rather than upsetting sil. he has to be th eone who takes the consequences of this. Is there anywhere you and the children could go if he lets them come? your family for example?

why the hell is he putting her above the health of your children and yourself anyway?

How can you make 3 kids wash their hands all the time when you are 'doing' Xmas . My DH is generally useless and another child and I basically do Xmas - he is not so bad as he dies other thing but Xmas is mine. Also
Niece will be in dd room so that will need totally cleaning on Boxing Day ?

Just found out she was on holiday with another person who so far dies not have the ' bug' should that make me feel better ?

She ate it in tne evening and was ill all
Night and next day I think

No we can't go anywhere andcsll hotels are booked up locally . She will be in dd room sharing our family bathroom .

DH thinks he is not risking anything as he believes I am paranoid and there is no risk .

Tell your DH that if he wants them to come, HE has to promise now he will be the one to deal with any sickness the DC have

• so he promises to do do all the cleaning up of DC, clothes, bedding, rooms.

If he won't agree, then cancel the invitation

Massive emetophobe here.

90% of d and v is norovirus.

If they are still going to come you can buy a product called Sterizar which, when you put it on a hard surface, protects the surface from noro for 30 days. The hand sanitizer protects hands for 6 hours. Look it up online and see if you can get a speedy delivery.

I massively sympathise as I have a family who get it every year and always think that it’s “something they ate,” even if everyone goes down with it. I verge on wanting to kill them.

Thank you I'm leaving it until tomorrow and will see how she is then an then tell her she can't come , if she is all better today ( unlikely as she was off seeking medicine mid afternoon ) then that's fair enough .

• what's the betting she says she's better even if she's not? Do you trust her to be honest? You poor thing, you know she's going to come regardless, so I just hope it's not contagious or you somehow don't all catch it - except maybe DH, since he doesn't see there's a problem.

But if it's genuinely food poisoning it's not a bug is it? So you should be OK.

This is MN heron98. Where the only reason to be sick is a highly contagious bug and coincidentally, everyone is an emetophobe.

It's not MN.

It's about not being a selfish arse, not to be so blasé about infecting people over Christmas, because your right to Christmas entitles you to risk ruining theirs, their outings and their holiday.

It's about not being a selfish arse like the DH, not to demand the OP accept this risk - but to refuse to help with the consequences, cleaning up sick DC

btw, I am not an emotophobe
I would just avoid inflicting D&V on my worst enemy, let alone family or friends

emetophobe

Ok I know I'm unreasonable . My niece has decided to go to my inlaws for Xmas here my bil sil and there kids will be and they are fine with it . And my fil is there having just come out of hospital following open heart surgery !
I feel worse now , I did ask her how she was and if she was symptom free as there was a Nast bug going round that has already wiped out half of ds school and most of DH work and we were concerned about it spreading and spoiling our holiday . I had agreed to let her come Xmas morning instead of Xmas eve night but she said it will be easier if I go to nans . So she has obviously take the hump .

You made the right decision!!

My brother’s family came over from Australia and all caught noro. They rented a cottage near us and no way was I not going to see them at Christmas. Unbelievably not one of my own family caught it. We were very careful about hand washing and tried to keep one loo for the non-infected.

You did the right thing OP. I never understand people who even think of potentially infecting someone else. There's no way of knowing what caused it. It's not like you puke up a label saying "food poisoning".

I don't understand how some people can care so little about other peoples health.

No way would I be going round family/friends with a bug. Its just wrong, and selfish.

Did the right thing? She’s sent them to a house where someone is recovering from open heart surgery

You did the right thing OP. Not your problem she decided to go stay with other relatives- up to them to tell her no if they feel she's an infection risk. She sounds foolish and selfish

cherrycoke OP hasn’t “sent” them anywhere! The people the ill person is now planning to visit are adults who can make their own decision.

Sorry, I meant 'right thing' as in dissuading them from coming to yours. Totally agree they shouldn't be going to the other house.

I have spoken to mil and she has booked a hotel . Mil is like a surrogate mother to her and will deal with her one way or another. I did just ask her if she was better yesterday thus giving me tne 48 hour window I need and she declined to answer and said she'd go else where . Everyone is spparently happy even her own mother. It's a complicated family .
Logically I should have taken the risk I know but I was really shaking and had headaches and was waking up all night thinking about it . I think I might need to get some therapy with this as it seems to be getting worse .

Yanbu op. I thought I had food poisoning not noro until I infected my baby and husband with it. I hadn't been near anyone who'd had it from what I was aware and ate what I thought tasted questionable chicken.

I still stayed away from people for the few days after and missed a birthday party and dinner, thankfully. Or my 'food poisoning' could have infected many more!

I'd separate your phobia from your wish for her not to attend op. Getting phobia for your therapy to help yourself doesn't mean you were wrong not to want her possibly infectious self there.

Just because others are happy doesn't mean you were wrong. To be honest I'd feel cunty going knowing I could be inectious. I felt bad enough infecting dh and dc when I was being careful.

' My mother is doing all the food, paid for it and will be cooking it. But at my grandparents. My Grandad doesn't want me to go with the bug but will end up alone as my mother will cook at home if I'm 'uninvited'. It's tricky really.'

No, it isn't. You're ill. You stay home, you don't infect other people because you don't want to be alone on one day. How much are you going to enjoy travelling and eating a big, rich meal when you have D&V anyway? It's a no brainer, you don't willingly infect other people with your illness.

I know it's an unpopular view here but I think you were unreasonable. It seems to me that you weren't even willing to wait and see if she was clear for 48 hours before you uninvited her Christmas week.

I feel for you as I know it's s phobia but I understand why she has taken the hump.