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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Christmas visitors and bugs

112 replies

Pinkpeanut27 · 21/12/2017 18:10

Ok I'm freaking out just had a call to say one of my Xmas guests who is currently on holiday has gone down with terrible d and v which they are putting down to some vegetable soup . They come Xmas eve .
AIBU to say they need to be 48 hours clear before they come ?
We are going away on 27 th so getting sick would spoil it . I have 3 kids and we are all going to be bunched up sharing rooms and the bathroom .

OP posts:
ObscuredbyFog · 21/12/2017 20:33

Tell them to stay away, the risk is too high.

They are likely to ruin your festivities, why do people like them have to be so selfish?

Crumbs1 · 21/12/2017 20:36

There’s time enough for them to get over it whether it be the soup or a bug. Christmas Eve isn’t until Sunday so depending on time of arrival they can decide tomorrow or even Saturday. I’d discourage someone with active D&V but might be prepared to go with 24 hours vomit free rather than the ultra careful 48 hours. Handwashing is key!

PhobiaRuiningLife · 21/12/2017 20:40

Good god no! As you can see from my username this phobia is ruining my life! Any of my family, and friends for that matter, know that they would not be welcome at my house for a while after a bout of vomiting!
This phobia is very real and it's not logical so even the 48hr rule is not long enough for me!

Starlight2345 · 21/12/2017 20:44

I would say nothing today..See how they are tomorrow. if people know you are imposing a 48 hour rule they will lie .

QuickWash · 21/12/2017 20:53

I'm not sure I would rescind the invite if they're 48 hour's clear tbh.

Nizuc · 21/12/2017 20:55

At least if you cancel now it gives them time to get food in.

Only this morning I was recalling to youngest DD how she and older DD both came down with sickness/high temp one Christmas Eve and we had to cancel going to SILs for Christmas lunch.

DFIL drove round at lunchtime and DMIL handed over two plated Christmas dinners wrapped in tinfoil from the doorstep. Within a minute they had driven off again. Twas a great Christmas Sad

Despite both DDs being ill we weren't going to infect the rest of the family.

Original poster
Pinkpeanut27 · 21/12/2017 20:59

Thank you I'm leaving it until tomorrow and will see how she is then an then tell her she can't come , if she is all better today ( unlikely as she was off seeking medicine mid afternoon ) then that's fair enough .
As I've said I've no problems with the colds and virus and things people usually come with at Xmas and I'm the first to nurse and Medicate I'm
Fine will all the dietary requests - vegan , caffeine free dairy ,free wheat free ( different guests ) I'm fine with the ever present emotional break downs and constant tears . But D and V I'm
Not ok with .
We have been through tough times recently ( and they have ) and we have a short holiday just the 5 of us as a major part of our Xmas gifts and being sick will prevent us doing the activities we've booked . And on top of that I will be irritable and snappy til new year .

Sil has traveled quite a way and is currently staying quite close to my niece then they will both come independently to me over an hour away stay 2 days then travel onwards to more family . So the 3 of them could do Xmas together at my nieces house or she found spend the day alone getting better and carry on with her plans on Boxing Day so it's not that bad .
And I'd definately not visit if it was me until we were 48 hours clear and had eaten normally again without And more of the runs . I did this 3 yrs ago and missed Xmas with my folks but I wouldn't travel with a potentially sick child and I wouldn't infect anyone .

OP posts:
LittleMyLikesSnuffkin · 21/12/2017 21:59

Oh god I have family members who a) get ill a lot and b) seem to have no consideration that other people don’t want to catch their bugs! Last Christmas both my kids caught a tummy bug from them. This however was a small mercy (even though 1 missed going to the panto because of it Angry ) because luckily my cancer stricken uncle and aunt both managed to avoid it and for that I am grateful. Even tho my home stank of vomit for days.

I would reschedule. Likelyhood is it’s a tummy bug and I don’t blame you for wanting to avoid that in general let alone at Christmas and when you’re due to go on holiday. And no it’s not rude in these circumstances Hmm it’s sensible to avoid spreading it further yourself.

Original poster
Pinkpeanut27 · 22/12/2017 21:14

Apparently much better now DH dies not see things as a problem . Don't know what much better means though and and still really stressed but can't see a way out of it

OP posts:
Mrscog · 22/12/2017 21:24

You need to be scrupulous about hand washing if they come. The main way bugs are spread once vomiting is over is fecal - mouth. Scrub all of your hands after loo and before eating and even if they are still contagious you’ll be giving yourselves the best chance.

Floellabumbags · 22/12/2017 21:43

I can't imagine why anyone with noro would want to go visiting relatives. When we or the kids are similarly indisposed we want our own beds and bathroom.

Original poster
Pinkpeanut27 · 22/12/2017 21:45

She says it was food poisoning from mushroom soup !

OP posts:
Glumglowworm · 22/12/2017 21:53

YANBU

If someone is going to be offended that I don’t want to catch their nasty stomach bug and ruin Christmas and my holiday, then they’re not someone I want visiting me anyway because they’re a selfish dick.

JaneEyre70 · 22/12/2017 21:53

I can't believe that they are happy to infect you all with it Shock. I would make sure you are well stocked up on paracetamol and diarolyte just in case. Is your holiday insured OP?

MadisonAvenue · 22/12/2017 21:54

I'd ask her not to come, I wouldn't want to risk it with going away on the 27th.

I have an impaired immune system and our son has come home from uni with a nasty cold. It's a Christmas tradition now, going back many years, that he has a cold just before Christmas which I then come down with, usually on Christmas Eve afternoon.

Original poster
Pinkpeanut27 · 22/12/2017 22:05

No holiday in U.K. So not insured .
DH won't ask her not to come he doesn't understand the problem.
He has no issue with stomach bugs but then he never has to deal with the kids when I'll except once with ds2 when he was a baby and a daddy's boy and got admitted to hospital to rehydrate him . You'd think he had nursed him through the plague !

Can you get food poisoning from vegetable soup even ?

OP posts:
Lovenluck · 22/12/2017 22:05

YANBU!

There is no way she can know for sure it was food poisoning vs norovirus - she could have even caught a bug from someone who prepared the meal! So unless she has undergone medical tests that prove she is not contagious (which I doubt she has) then you should assume she is contagious.

We have had norovirus or similar in our house for a week now. Every single member of the family has had it and my poor DD is still vomiting 6 days after the initial awfulness when she was sick every 15 minutes for 6 hours straight. DH and I still have upset tummies 3 days after Last vomiting episode and still feeling queasy and tired. Trust me when I tell you that this particular strain of tummy bug doing the rounds is much worse than usual and NOT something you want for Christmas!

Please feel free to show this to your DH and tell SIL that I’m a “friend of a friend” and this is what we have experienced which is why you are unable to host her. You wouldn’t just not be able to enjoy your holiday, you probably couldn’t even GO on your holiday if you caught this thing!!!

Good luck!!

Lovenluck · 22/12/2017 22:08

And yes, you could in theory catch food poisoning from vegetable soup, especially if it was cross-contamination or something (and I believe that some of those types of food poisoning may actually be contagious anyway), but the most likely cause would be due to someone who ladeled out the soup or touched the cutlery or whatever having norovirus and not having properly washed their hands.

Original poster
Pinkpeanut27 · 22/12/2017 22:11

Thanks
For all of you suffering thank you especially and I hope that you and your little ones are feeling better soon

OP posts:
QueenArseClangers · 22/12/2017 22:18

Whatcha gonna do OP?

Original poster
Pinkpeanut27 · 22/12/2017 22:47

Currently drinking wine in a strop

OP posts:
HunterHearstHelmsley · 22/12/2017 22:52

I'm torn tbh. I've got a bug at the moment. My mother is doing all the food, paid for it and will be cooking it. But at my grandparents. My Grandad doesn't want me to go with the bug but will end up alone as my mother will cook at home if I'm 'uninvited'. It's tricky really.

LondonLassInTheCountry · 22/12/2017 23:09

My birthday last year.
Meal booked all family coming
My sister got D&V. She was still going to come. I told her she couldnt. She was upset but understood

But then we are in a different situation as if i get a bug like this, my kidneys sometimes fail.

It is a tough one. If just for christmas i would allow if clear for 24 hours but if i was going away i would have to say no.
Its so hard for everyone involved tho :(

sproutsandparsnips · 22/12/2017 23:30

Official advice is 48 hrs clear. If they are I would allow visit, making sure, however that everyone exercises scrupulous hand washing.

Rossigigi · 22/12/2017 23:36

Just out of interest, when did she eat the soup and when did the symptoms start?