to be upset for DD!!

[donners312]

DD13 been a bit fragile lately and this has led to bullying at school.

School have been pretty good but it has been tough.

There was a party tonight and DD had a friend coming over to get ready before so they could go together.

Low and behold she didn't turn up and then started posting photos rom the bullies house of them all getting ready together.

DD has still gone to the party I didn't want her to go and am on tenderhooks until i pick her up at 11.

How can they be so horrible?

Summat if you talked to any of my kids like that you would be getting a visit from the police

sweetsomethings so if your daughter was being a nasty bitch and somebody called her a nasty bitch you'd call the police? No wonder the police are overstretched.

Groovy if an adult approached my child and started swearing in her face yes I would . No one should be intimidating a minor and verbal assault is assault all the same

Pengggwyn ....how do you know what Laguna’s son and the op’s daughter have been through are not comparable? Just because op hasn’t given out exact details, she did say her daughter had suffered bullying at school in her first sentence.

I agree that gendered insults are not appropriate but the reality is that some children have, by this age and in some cases younger, developed some thoroughly unpleasant traits and behaviours. As the parent of a bullied child myself - one who is bullied for his difference because he is autistic - I have no difficulty calling the perpetrators horrible children, because that is what they at present are, and other children who present differently suffer from them too.
Love the sinner hate the sin sounds great but candidly what some kids need their school to do is tell them they’re behaving unacceptably and if they don’t stop there will be consequences.

Your daughter is amazing OP - you must be very proud.
My 13 yo daughter is in a not dissimilar situation. Social exclusion is a form of bullying and can affect girls profoundly at a really important time of their personal development.
You sound as if you are approaching it with great consideration and it's great advice to try to ensure there are some out of school opportunities for building friendships.
For me it's important that dd knows that she is enough. That this exclusion is not about her - in fact nothing to do with her at all. It's important that she understands that actually the group follows the leader because they have not yet developed the maturity and courage to stand up to the ring leader - even when they know it's wrong. Like your dd, school are in the picture - can't do a lot about social exclusion especially when it relates to out of school events - but they are aware. Finally - dd knows and school know that my expectation is that dd's behaviour is never unkind or inflammatory. I've told dd in 20 years time when she passes said girls on the street, she needs to be able to hold her head high and know that her behaviour at school was nothing to be ashamed of, at all.
Being objective and strong for your dd is hard - but keep on looking for the positives and opportunities, just as you already are xx

We know how enraged we get when our children are wronged but the name calling on this thread just isn't on.

Let's remember, irrespective of their behaviour, that these are children being discussed. Can we keep the discussion a little less Mean Girls...............

Thank you mumsnet you are right the name calling is uncalled for

Thanks for all the positive comments and support.

I think when children get bullied it really enrages us and hits a nerve and guess you can't help thinking badly of the 'other children' even though I do appreciate there are two sides to every story and as I do say to my DD when she is sitting crying there will have been times when someone has been sitting crying over something she has said or done probably.

Th drama has continued of course with her still trying to ingratiate herself with her ex friends (despite me telling her to stay away) and she has so far been ignored leading to more tears. In the meantime she was invited out with some other girls but my bloody car broke down so she could nt go in the end. Its so frustrating trying to get her to see things straight.

Thanks for the advise on book queen bees and wannabes Ive downloaded it i will read it over christmas Thanks Everyone though!