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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to be upset for DD!!

137 replies

donners312 · 20/12/2017 21:54

DD13 been a bit fragile lately and this has led to bullying at school.

School have been pretty good but it has been tough.

There was a party tonight and DD had a friend coming over to get ready before so they could go together.

Low and behold she didn't turn up and then started posting photos rom the bullies house of them all getting ready together.

DD has still gone to the party I didn't want her to go and am on tenderhooks until i pick her up at 11.

How can they be so horrible?

OP posts:
Original poster
donners312 · 20/12/2017 22:38

She does have a hobby/club and she does enjoy that and has friends of all ages from it.

School have referred her to CAHMS and I have a GP appointment she is also in counseling so thanks for saying how strong she is but I am not sure if she is or not.

Thank you for all your comments!!

OP posts:
TheMamaYo · 20/12/2017 22:38

I hope she had a great time after all of that OP.

CheapSausagesAndSpam · 20/12/2017 22:39

OP I hope she had a fine time.....this will pass. I can NEVER understand parents who can't believe their child is capable of this kind of thing.

It's just so self-absorbed!

I agree that your DD doesn't sound like the sort to be cowed though and I'd be proud of her for going!

Parents should come together more to protect ALL our children from this.

Original poster
donners312 · 20/12/2017 22:41

Well to be honest i think all children are horrible and all children are nice - I am not for one minute saying my DD has never been mean (school say she is sweet hearted) and like you say if I found out she had bullied someone I would go beserck. If you don't how are you helping them for the future. I would actually prefer to think she had bullied them and this was her fault but according to school the girls have turned on her because she is too soft and fragile at the moment. which i get is annoying but she has had a hard time with her Dad and isn't all that happy.

OP posts:
Pumpkintopf · 20/12/2017 22:41

So sorry op that sounds awful for your dd. Good on her for still going.

TheRollingCrone · 20/12/2017 22:41

Your girl is a legend! The much bigger person. If I could (sold out) I get her a "Girls support Girls". They should be thoroughly ashamed Flowers

DamnDeDoubtanceIsSpartacus · 20/12/2017 22:42

Dd went through this, initially befriended by a group of boys then ridiculed and left out. She has turned a corner though and has a few close friends and a wider circle now.

Get through this day and see what tomorrow brings.

TheRollingCrone · 20/12/2017 22:42

^t shirt

Original poster
donners312 · 20/12/2017 22:44

well i think i am going to go and pick her up - I might be able to view things from a distance and see how it is going.

Wish me luck - might have to take a beta blocker before i go feeling very anxious!!!! Bet she is happy as larry after all this! (hopes anyway)

Thanks for your support helped me through the trauma!!

OP posts:
witchofzog · 20/12/2017 22:45

Good for your dd. Still going shows amazing strength of character. I hope she still had a good time despite these nasty witches

beeny · 20/12/2017 22:47

Hope your daughter was ok

fairypuff · 20/12/2017 22:51

What a superstar ur DD is! I was terribly bullied at school but came out the other end and made new friends at uni who are all still besties now (11 years on). The ringleader bully was in he paper a while back as she'd been sacked from her NHS job for stealing drugs. Karma. You're a great mum and just remember that this too shall pass. X

wineoclockthanks · 20/12/2017 22:52

I so hope she is ok.

Messedupnotstressedup · 20/12/2017 22:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BadFeminist · 20/12/2017 22:55

I hope all is ok.

I'm terrified of this happening to DS, who is also very kind and sensitive.

I guess the only saving grace is that historically the bitchy girls and their ringleaders all leave school, have multiple children with multiple fathers and get really fat, whereas the bullied seem to move on into their own and live nicer lives.

mirialis · 20/12/2017 23:01

I bet there are many of us watching this thread and hoping DD was ok (and thinking of you), either because we've been there ourselves or had a DC who has.

Your DD is not alone. It's not her fault. No matter what the outcome of tonight was, keep this thread going or start a new one and get some support in order to help you as you get your DD through this.

It will pass. She will come through it. Even those who don't have a lovely Mum like you get through it, so with you on her side she's going to be ok for sure Flowers

AnnieAnoniMouse · 20/12/2017 23:01

I hope she’s had a good time.

Poor little love, as if she didn’t already have enough going on 😕

IvorBiggun · 20/12/2017 23:04

I’m lurking hoping your dd’s had a brilliant time. Girls of that age can just be hideous and I’m really sorry the bullying is happening to your daughter. It took me until college to find properly good friends and experienced similar behaviour at school. While it’s character building in some ways it’s mostly just bloody awful. A supportive, understanding mum can make a big difference so your dd is lucky to have you Flowers

I guess the only saving grace is that historically the bitchy girls and their ringleaders all leave school, have multiple children with multiple fathers and get really fat, whereas the bullied seem to move on into their own and live nicer lives. WTF? That’s a disgusting and judgemental thing to post and doesn’t even make any sense.

Giftdilema · 20/12/2017 23:05

Hope she's OK. The drama which goes on at my children's school is constant. Teens are awful to each other!
I've met many of the 'my little Chloe would never do anything like that' types :(

Weepatchesoflove · 20/12/2017 23:05

Hiya
I just wanted to say I think your daughter is awesome and that you are a great Mum. I hope your wee one has had a great night.
It is horrific when you have to watch your kids do something that takes massive inner resolves, you just want to take away their pain. She (and you) will get through this and she will have learned a really huge talent in facing adversity. Obviously you'd rather they didn’t have too, but after the fact you can see how it helps them. Similar has happened to my kids and it is soul destroying at the time.
I also don’t get how parents can’t see fault with their own kids, I love my two, but I especially see their faults!
I hope you are ok though, it is particularly hard to go through this and should you not have people in real life to talk to, then you can see from the replies, you literally will have most of the Mnetters in here to try to support you. Good luck to your dd and to you.

KarlosKKrinkelbeim · 20/12/2017 23:08

I really don’t understand parents who don’t clamp down on their dc bullying other kids. Do they think it’s goid their children are behaving horribly? I would die if shame.

StealthNinjaMum · 20/12/2017 23:09

I've only just seen this. I hope your dd met with some nice friends and had a good evening. ((Hugs))

LittleLights · 20/12/2017 23:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

manicinsomniac · 20/12/2017 23:12

Awwww, your poor daughter. I hope she's had an okay time. It's amazing that she still wanted to go.

I was cut out by my group of friends at exactly this age. But it was the 1990s so at least I didn't have to witness them having fun without me over social media!

Being 13 is awful anyway (unless you're one of those blessed children who are always included) but I think it's way worse for modern children who can't even escape peer situations in their own homes.

Knittedfairies · 20/12/2017 23:13

Your daughter has shown great strength of character to go to the party! I hope she enjoyed herself.