To not give the teachers any present?

[Jedimum1]

My DD has just started reception, so I'm new to school politics, Christmas expectations, etc.

Her teachers are lovely, the school is amazing and I'm really grateful we had a space. However, I m buried in debt and have only just sorted out a massive loan to consolidate it. I have a part time job that is going to very barely cover the minimum expenses if I am super organized. I am struggling to end the month at zero and I had to tell my family that this year I cannot send presents, I'm only buying for the children and DH, and I've reduced the money I could spend on them too.

I saw today some parents giving presents to the teacher. My DD has 3 staff members in her room, plus 2 at front desk.

I also have a younger child in Nursery, where he has 2 key workers, plus an apprentice and reception staff. Totals about 6 staff members I have regular contact with, a few more that I don't really see much.

AIBU to only write a Christmas card saying how much I appreciate what they do? Would it be ok to get a £2 roses box for each of them? How do I make them feel valuable without spending more than £30 total? I don't even have that £30, that would actually be taken out from out New Year's meal, as I haven't got any more money around. The compromise on getting the loan was that I'd pay all credit cards and cancel them to avoid getting into this mess again, so I cannot rely on that.

I think I need to start putting £10/month on the side for next year! :(

Don’t worry about it. Teachers don’t expect anything

Maybe get your dd to make a card if you have time? Before now I have done things like homemade biscuits and things

I'm a teacher and I would much rather NOT get presents

The thoughtfully written card alone would be fine, and certainly a cheaper box of chocolates would. It's what I'm doing! I got the staff Aldi finest chocs for 1.99 apiece.

Yanbu. Don't worry about it, I doubt they'll even notice.
I've stopped giving any gifts apart from the end of the school year as it becoming too much.

I have 5dc in school, nursery have multiple teachers /classroom assistants etc. Ds has 2 teachers, dd +ds in 'big school' with many teachers.
Younger ones have done a card and that's the limit here I am afraid!

Of course YANBU. I'm a teacher. Teachers really honestly don't expect presents. And they are often over-laden with chocolates anyway! Your dd's teacher will really appreciate a card thanking her for what she does. Any teacher would be horrified at the thought of parents feeling they had to buy them a present they couldn't afford. Honestly and truly.

My kids have never given their teachers a present through all their years (DD about to finish A levels). It's never been expected. They wished them a very Merry Christmas, might have done cards when they were little, but that's that. Ultimately, I expect most teachers would much prefer a meaningful smiling genuine Merry Christmas, then a present that has clearly been bought by mum.

A card is always very much appreciated and if you write a nice comment in it that would go down very well indeed.
I (and I suspect every other teacher) would be utterly mortified to think you had spent money you can’t afford on a gift so please don’t.

Honestly a thoughtfully written card will be hugely appreciated and the teachers will have more than enough chocolate. Hope things pick up for you soon and please don't stress about unnecessary gifts which are not expected.

I got £1 bogs of terry chocolate orange bites for my kids' school teachers. And that was only because they wanted to give something. I wouldn't have bothered otherwise.

If you feel the need you could just buy a box of biscuits and label them for all the school staff. They can enjoy them together in the staff room.

Chocolates are a rubbish present unless you actually know the recipient likes them. They scream tokenism. See also cigarettes, alcohol, biscuits.

A handmade card will suffice surely.

You don't need to at all, especially if it will cause you financial stress/strain.

I always prefer to send gifts at the end of the school year, when my children move up, but most of the time I email a note of thanks to the teaching team instead of buying anything. Lazy? Maybe. But the teachers seem to like it. :)

No no please don't buy presents if you are struggling for money right now. They probably won't remember who bought what present as teachers are given so many at Christmas.
A nice card with a message inside would absolutely suffice

That's completely fine and tbh as a teacher I'd be mortified if I felt people were obligated to buy me a present even when they couldn't afford it.
What's lovely is to write a card telling them how much you appreciate them.

A card is (more than) enough.

Do you really think any decent teacher would want you to be spending money on them in your present circumstances?

Please don't buy presents, we don't expect them. A card saying happy Christmas is lovely but also not necessary.

No.

Teachers do a job and they get paid to do that job.

There's absolutely no reason to get them gifts because they arent doing you a favour - they are teaching and caring for your child in exchange for money.

Unless you also plan on getting gifts for your postman, binman, GP, bus driver, dentist, hairdresser and helpful local supermarket staff.

As a nursery worker what l like the most is something actually from the child a home made card or even a little picture drawn inside a shop bought card is lovely if you feel you have to get something how about getting a pack of chocolate Christmas tree decorations and splitting the pack to give the teachers one each.

I never buy gifts for teachers. A card yes if they've been really good.
My aunty was a primary teacher when I was growing up and after Xmas, school breaking up etc she used to get the most amount of crap and kept none/very little and we used to just take what we wanted and the rest she gave away or binned.
If your under financial pressure anyway then don't make it worse for yourself!

I have never bought the teachers gifts... Christmas and end of school year DDs always made their teachers a card.

One year my dc both had 2 part time teachers each and two TAs each. 8 people! That was the year I decided I wasn't buying presents any more
The dc write a card and I buy a box of biscuits for the staff room. Job done.

I used to flatshare with the world's most annoying woman.

Nobody worked as hard as she did, nobody had longer hours or such an important or stressful job (she was a primary teacher).

She worked in a school in Chelsea and it was sickening, every summer and Christmas she would spread out on the kitchen table what she would call her "haul", it included stuff like wine, posh chocolates, theatre vouchers, jewellery, etc.

I really did think it was awful, especially since one of the other girls we lived with was a nurse, now theres a thankless job and arguable much harder.

It was fine when there was one teacher so one present. In your position I think it would be perfectly OK to send cards to each of them or it gets out of hand. And all these chocolates. People really don't always want chocolate.

When did this giving presents to teachers all start? It was certainly something we never did when I was at school so just curious to know what set it off and why vast sums can be spent on someone you don't know and who is being paid to do their job?