To not give the teachers any present?

[Jedimum1]

My DD has just started reception, so I'm new to school politics, Christmas expectations, etc.

Her teachers are lovely, the school is amazing and I'm really grateful we had a space. However, I m buried in debt and have only just sorted out a massive loan to consolidate it. I have a part time job that is going to very barely cover the minimum expenses if I am super organized. I am struggling to end the month at zero and I had to tell my family that this year I cannot send presents, I'm only buying for the children and DH, and I've reduced the money I could spend on them too.

I saw today some parents giving presents to the teacher. My DD has 3 staff members in her room, plus 2 at front desk.

I also have a younger child in Nursery, where he has 2 key workers, plus an apprentice and reception staff. Totals about 6 staff members I have regular contact with, a few more that I don't really see much.

AIBU to only write a Christmas card saying how much I appreciate what they do? Would it be ok to get a £2 roses box for each of them? How do I make them feel valuable without spending more than £30 total? I don't even have that £30, that would actually be taken out from out New Year's meal, as I haven't got any more money around. The compromise on getting the loan was that I'd pay all credit cards and cancel them to avoid getting into this mess again, so I cannot rely on that.

I think I need to start putting £10/month on the side for next year! :(

I'm abroad (EU) and here, gifts of more than really very token value would have to be reported under anti-corruption laws because of teachers being public servants. The gifts some teachers get which we read about on here would be unthinkable. Most parents don't bother (not so much for the legal reasons but because it's not really in the culture). I get my dc's teachers a very small token at Christmas and end of school year - this year ds2's got some stained glass biscuits ds2 helped me make and ds1's has a tiny but prettily wrapped festive chocolate bar. Their music teachers get wine.

Or
You could buy a bunch of flowers and give each adult one flower with tinfoil at the end and a little bow. This with the thank you card is more than enough - cost £3ish.

I think most teachers would appreciate a nice handwritten message thanking them that they can display/ keep more than a box of chocs - my DH was nearly crying today after reading a card a student got him!

Agree with PP homemade gifts are lovely!
And homemade biscuits even better!

Send a card, they will appreciate your kind thoughts. My DD is a teacher, she teaches in secondary school where presents for teachers seems less of an issue but she always gets some. The thing that touched her most was a message from a child who had always struggled with her subject telling her that she was the only teacher who had ever made her understand and thanking her. She was tearful and it was a lovely message on a home made card.

Like others here, I have never bought teachers presents. I find it very unbecoming, tacky and creepy of the parents.

The best gift DD ever gave a teacher was an old jam jar that she drew and wrote 'No.1 Teacher' on with Sharpies. We got some gel pens from Poundland and the teacher seemed was thrilled. All teachers I know LOVE stationary!

Teachers love stationery for a bad reason though - we use it a lot at work, it helps us be organised and have a pleasant environment for children - but we never have the money to buy what we want from our budgets so spend some of our salaries on it. That is my experience anyway.

I'm a teacher and would choose a nicely written card (especially one that praises my efforts) over a gift any day.

at the idea that we are in it for the haul! Presents aren’t necessary expected. And I’m certainly not in the job for a box of malteasers!

Ok I think a nice heartfelt card would be perfect. Around here people are giving teachers absolute TAT and proudly showing off. I mean why on earth would a teacher want a frame of your child, a picture mug of your child and ridiculous stuff like that. A mum in my d's class gave the teacher a bloody necklace with her dds name on it. I mean really.

Jedi really, really don’t worry about it. I’d be so upset if a parent who was struggling for money was worried about getting me something. I’ve never met a single teacher who expects anything at all.

You don’t even need to do the card. Just say thanks to the teacher when you pick up your child, that’s all it takes

If you bake gifts (lovely idea) then let the teachers know that the DC didnt help with the baking. Many people are skeeved out at the idea of dc fingers in the food. I bake for Chritsmas gifts and I get my DC to do hand made labels for the containers so they feel included but its a bit more sanitary

I'm glad to see that you have really high standards SeatoSki but not everybody does. I wouldn't advise giving home baked stuff to teachers.

A card is more than enough! I am a teacher and a genuine heartfelt thank you from a child or parent is the best gift - and you don’t even expect that.

I don’t know when the present giving culture in primary schools came about. It’s incredibly generous of parents to gift teachers something especially at a time when there are so many expenses. But as a PP said, I would be mortified to think this had been dipping into the family Christmas fund.

I have a bundle of cards with lovely messages in from parents and pupils and I pull them out to look at from time to time. I have given up teaching for the moment to be a sahm and it is a lovely reminder of those times. Due to having moved a few times and having a small flat, I have had to give away the presents which weren’t edible/ usable too. I hope you have a lovely Christmas!

From the many candid MN threads there have been on this topic, I have learned that home-made food gifts are thrown straight into the bin unless the parent is Mary Berry, that teachers loathe anything with "World's Greatest Teacher" printed on it, that wine had better be the exact brand/type that they like or it'll be given to someone else, and that they'd rather choose their own chocolates.

My son wanted to get something for his reception teachers. There are loads of them as two classes are in an open plan area with around 5 tas. So we bought a box of biscuits and wrote on the label for all of the reception class staff to share at break time. Ds was happy and I was happy that it didn't cost too much. Please don't feel pressured to spend your money. I'm sure the teachers would be happier that you won't be struggling financially.

A card with a carefully written message saying how much you and your children appreciate the work that the teacher puts in is perfect. No need for anything else.

My parents were both teachers. Both would have been horrified if families blew money they could ill afford on presents for them. Appreciative cards from the parents and/or their children were lovely though.

Lots of my family and friends are teachers, and every single one has told me they honestly don't expect presents and would never hold it against a child or parent for not getting them anything. In fact, they would be unlikely to even notice. Most said they prefer not to be given gifts at all.

They all said they love getting homemade cards from the kids and thank you notes from parents, and prefer those over gifts.

So I've never done presents for teachers, only cards, but I have to admit I have found it really hard to stand my ground when the class reps start asking for collection money! It is embarrassing being the only one not contributing. I've noticed a lot of parents seem to buy presents AND contribute to the collection so I do feel bad. I can't start giving presents purely because of peer pressure though!

Yanbu. My dd is in reception too and I just got her to write a card. I don't think teachers expect it anyway to be honest.

I’m a teacher and I prefer not to get gifts for the very reason that I don’t want parents to feel obliged and therefore spend when they don’t need to. Their support over a year is enough for me.

I tend to write letters to teachers saying thank you which I know is so appreciated. Wrote to the head of my son's school last year to thank them for being so supportive to him. The Head told me later that letters saying thanks and why really do mean a lot and lift morale at times.

I don't tend to bother with gifts although we took a tray of doughnuts into the school for the staff to have with coffee last year during their OFSTED...that was very much appreciated.

I stick by my opinion that MOST teachers choose that profession to try and make a difference. As in every profession you will get bad apples but most are doing a difficult job with scarce resources. Most don't want presents or even expect a thank you bit is nice to do if they have made a difference. And yes I thank my bin men and postman too with a card at Christmas.

One box of chocs with a nice card to them all. Before the end of term, to share out in the staffroom. Doesn’t have to be a huge box either, just a regular sized box of roses or something, £3 or so.