Posted Christmas cards addressed to first names

[cjt110]

We've had 2 Christmas cards through the post so far.

At least one of them were addressed to CJT and CJT as opposed to Mr and Mrs CJT or anything else formal.

It reall gets on my nerves. You know my last name. You've known it for fucking years!

AIBU to think its shoddy, and weird, not to address a card properly?

It doesn't bother me in the least

Sometimes I do this if I mean to give in person and then have to post

If your're not close enough to these people to use first names why do they have your address? Are you a public figure?

Jeez that's a lot of angst over a card! Would you have preferred it if they hadn't bothered sending one at all?

Like John and Mary, 2 Main Street, Hicksville? Rather than John and Mary Jones?

These cards are from my best friend who lives 100 miles away and our (DH and I) other best friend who lives around 200 miles away so not able to hand over to us.

It just seems really weird to see a card posted with first names only on it.

Whaaaaaaa?

Honestly, I think it's nice. I actually would much rather have someone address a card to me and DH by our first names (esp if they manage to spell mine correctly which 50% of people don't) than by our titles. When people forget or get our titles wrong, it's kind of annoying. I particularly dislike being referred to as 'Mrs'.

blueskyinmarch Yes. John and Mary rather then John and Mary Jones

What about “How lovely, two people cared enough about me to send me a card”?

I assume they are friends if they are sending you cards. Do you really need to be addressed formally? I can’t stand it when MIL does this.

We’ve had several like that. I’d much rather have that kind than “Mr & Mrs DH initial surname” (I kept my name).

Eh? Frankly, I sometimes do this if it cuts down on the writing. Dr John Blah Blah and Prof Mary Etc Etc becomes John and Mary for the sake of brevity.

I can’t say it bothers me at all. They do know my first name and call me by it after all.

Given that it’s a minefield whether women have/n’t changed their name and may be offended if you get it wrong, people liking different titles etc it’s much easier to just use first names.

Bleh... I'll get back in my box. I was always taught letter writing was formal.

I just wouldnt ever think of addressing to just "Mary and John"

We got one the other day without any names on at all, just the street address, which I found a bit weird!

I guess I would find it notable in the sense that it's not the convention, but it's not something I would get actively cross about. Life's too short!

I do that because I have friends who've kept their own name on marriage, friends who use their maiden name for work etc. It's a minefield. So much easier just to say John and Sue rather than John Jones and Sue Smith and risk getting it wrong.

Lules Interesting point. FWIW, I chamnged my name on marriage and was glad to be rid of it and it's associations. I'm one of those rare Mnetters who don't mind being Mrs DHsurname

That said I do get the point about being irritatingly formal when it comes to writing. DP thinks I am bonkers for my obsession with responding in kind.

Scribblegirl As part of my post grad education we did writing so even emails, if say for work, are relatively formal.

I now address all cards like this as I've read so many threads on here where people are incredibly annoyed at their titles and surnames being differently addressed to the ones they've decided they want. It's just easier.

As Alison says....I have ones to John and Mary here as whilst my friends know my surname, not all know husband's as it is not something that comes up in conversation, esp if they're more my friends than his.

I do this when I can’t spell the surnames and/or when it’s an unmarried couple or kept her own name couple.

It’s not a problem with Jones or Smith obvs but for things like Elliott where I have to wonder about the number of Ls and the number of Ts it’s just easier.

I actually like it. I wince internally when I get Mr and Mrs cards because I haven't changed my name but everyone changes it for you. I don't really mind on cards I suppose because I know it's easier to put one surname.

But when my in-laws send my birthday card to Mrs their son's full name - that really make me seethe.

Gay friends of ours have just got married and I realised when doing their card that I didn't know what the protocol was for names so I put both their first names. Do gay couples generally take one last name or keep their own, I must ask next time I see them.

I had a funny one this year...

Old boyfd. had had the same girlfr. for a few yrs. I saw them as a seemingly happy couple 15 months ago. But he's never quite happy in relationships, I didn't have much hope for it to last very long. Plus I wasn't sure how to spell her name (never knew surname).

Should I email him & say "I just want to check who is living in your house so who to address the card to?" Feck no.

Went with gut feeling & addressed card to "John Smith & household".

Sure enough, reply card comes & says "Claire and I broke up in April..."

All this etiquette about how to address cards, minefield. Maybe just be glad they made some effort to stay in touch?

This is a non issue.