Posted Christmas cards addressed to first names

[cjt110]

We've had 2 Christmas cards through the post so far.

At least one of them were addressed to CJT and CJT as opposed to Mr and Mrs CJT or anything else formal.

It reall gets on my nerves. You know my last name. You've known it for fucking years!

AIBU to think its shoddy, and weird, not to address a card properly?

Just because something is handwritten, that doesn't mean it's formal. And in any case, many of these formalities are disappearing. I often address Christmas card envelopes to 'The Williams Family' or 'The Browns' etc. I don't tend to just put first names, but wouldn't bat an eyelid to receive one addressed that way.

So many threads about such an outdated practice..
People whine about card senders writing the wrong surname, the wrong title, so using first names seems like a better and less anally retentive way to address your pointless landfill.

Clitoria - I know! I sometimes feel I'm living in a parallel universe and others are in fact still living in 1873 or something....

Puppy how many times do I have to point out that not everyone has a computer/smartphone/The latest technology?

We both have elderly relatives who get a lot of pleasure from receiving a Christmas card. And they don't go to landfill either
They get recycled

Completely BU

Your friends are nice and have a friendly approach, I cannot believe anyone is annoyed with that.

In other countries, you must put the full name for the post to be delivered. Around here you don't, so people make the most of it.

People get offended by absolutely anything these days:
receiving a card/ not receiving a card
full name/ first name
It's ridiculous.

I send Christmas cards to people who are happy to receive them, at least not everyone is grumpy.

Exactly StrawBasket
The professionally offended are out in full force this week, and as for sending back a card because it was addressed to Mr and Mrs - how breathtakingly rude

You can't exactly take the moral high ground can you Cherry?

Sticking the pieces of card in the recycle bin isn’t much better though, if your local council actually bothers recycling your crap and doesn’t just ‘send it to china’ (dump it in the sea), it still takes up a lot of resources to turn it into new crap.

You are a bundle of joy today

Me? I’m grand thanks. Like many people, for a variety of reasons, I despise this time of year and it’s sickening consumerism.

Clearly a minority view but I'm with you OP! Not that it would bother me exactly but I'd definitely notice it and think it a bit odd.

I always address envelopes formally whether that's Mr and Mrs HisInitial TheirSharedSurname for those who have changed name or Ms HerInitial HerSurname & Mr HisInitial HisSurname for those who haven't.

Just first names on an envelope looks weird to me. But then I amused myself in the huge post office queue a few days ago by judging the number of incorrectly addressed envelopes. Plenty of counties included (not part of official addresses) and one with Scotland included etc.

I think more and more people only use the first names because they don't have a clue what the woman will be offended about: being addressed by her maiden name, or her husband's name. It's probably easier to skip that part.

Whatever you do, people will complain. I send everything to Mr. and Mrs. HisName unless expressively advised otherwise. How are we supposed to guess!

Lonicera - get your elderly relatives set up on Skype, I bet they'd like that a lot better

Puppy Please read my post. They don't own any technology that Skype can be used on. MIL is nearly 89 and has Alzheimer's and very poor eyesight. She can just about remember how to use a telephone these days. My 87 year old auntie is practically deaf, and the sound quality on Skype is worse than it is on a landline.

Try to remember not everyone has the technology or is able to use it

Being old sucks anyway, but especially when the younger generation sneerily write them off because they don't own or don't know how to use modern technology. Another

Thank you for referring to me as the younger generation (I'm 51). Please note the in my post which was intended to notify "this is a lighthearted comment."

Have another - it is Christmas after all.

My grand-mother has skype. She still enjoys receiving cards and letters she can re-read when she wants. I am not that old, but I do like to get mail and not have absolutely everything via email/ whatsap/FB/ Skype etc.

I do it for people who have different surnames as I find that writing Ms H. Woodcock and Mr L. Pratchett runs over the length of the envelope.

Me too Christmas Addict, and for people whose partner's surname I've forgotten.

I'm amazed people care to be honest. I've seen lots of people bothered by how they're addressed on here. Some hate Mr & Mrs J Blogs too. Then there's the hoo haa about not writing 'Dear Blah' inside the card and just signing it. You're all miserable nitpicky fuckers and don't deserve to get cards.

Yeah what horrible arseholes. I would definitely stop speaking to someone who did not put my surname on a card...

Most people still use surnames. I usually do just because the postman is more likely to get it to the right address as he probably knows the names of the people at each house.

But writing letters isn't formal at all, unless for formal purposes. I guess you are too young to remember the days before the internet when reams of letters were written between friends. When I was at uni I used to write to loads of friends quite often - it was never remotely formal! All that seems to have gone now sadly - the only time I get any personal mail is Xmas and birthdays and the occasional postcard

Ha ha. DH has some cousins who’ve been married, divorced, remarried on repeat - it’s literally impossible to keep up with what their current surnames are . So they always get first names only.

I'm sending a card to a family consisting of two adults with different surnames and two children, one of whom I don't know which surname she has. I'm just putting first names on the card and it never occurred to me that anyone might be offended by this...

I do this or to X family if they have children.
Apparently some people find Mr and Mrs Hisfirstinital Surname anti feminist or offensive or something
I don’t have the patience to write Mrs Herfirstinitial Surname and Mr Hisfirstinitial Surname- life is too short.

If someone addressed a card to me and DH as Mr and Mrs DHinitial Surname - I would chuck it back at them!!! I'm not his appendage thank you very much!

I've been avoiding all titles when addressing my cards this year because I am fed up of people getting mine wrong. For some friends who are around my age (as opposed to Aunts and Uncles etc who may be more formal) I've just used first names.

see, there's always one

I always use Mr and Mrs Hisfirstinital Surname because it's the polite thing to do, but I might also start doing it to wind people up. Unless you receive a thank-you card after a wedding, each signing with their different names, how on earth are you supposed to know?

I have friends who kept their name professionally, because it was just easier, but changed them on their passport and all legal documents. There's no way to guess what name to use nowadays.