Posted Christmas cards addressed to first names

[cjt110]

We've had 2 Christmas cards through the post so far.

At least one of them were addressed to CJT and CJT as opposed to Mr and Mrs CJT or anything else formal.

It reall gets on my nerves. You know my last name. You've known it for fucking years!

AIBU to think its shoddy, and weird, not to address a card properly?

This is the type of thing that occurs in this PC mad world we're now living in.

YABU, I wouldn't care.
Someone remembered you and sent you a card, that's what matters.

Anyone who gets their bits in a knot about informally addressed cards surely doesn't prefer getting addressed as Mrs DHforename DHsurname? People have a sliding scale of formality, no two people will have the same old-fashioned 'standards' . If it wasn't for Facebook I wouldn't have a frigging clue about anyone's surnames after marriage. First names are perfectly acceptable.

I actually think it's shoddier to miss out apostrophes or to put them in the wrong place as you have, OP. Neither is really a big deal though.

I remember someone saying on here that when writing a card you shouldn't put the names of the recipient inside? Only on the envelope. That is apparently the Correct Thing To Do.

I'm completely confused ignoring all this card etiquette.

Consider my head officially wobbled and me put back in my box!

I think it's fine. It's the easiest way to get it right without having to remember who uses which surname and title. I don't expect them to ask for Ms Surname when they phone me either.

Think of your 'nice Tesco lady' instead

Only1scoop She wasn't just nice. She was lovely. And I only know her first name. Vis a vis, her card would be addressed to "Tracy Tesco Lady"

Bleh... I'll get back in my box. I was always taught letter writing was formal.

Have committed sin of not RTFT.

I agree with you on this, OP. Except that Christmas cards are not formal communications and, therefore, I wouldn't be bothered.

My great Aunt used to send me birthday cards addressed to MrsHusband'sFirstNameandSurname.

That really did fuck me off!

YANBU. DH does it (if I don't intercept) and it grates on me. I must have Bronte era instincts after all

No Op

Twod' be 'Tracey 'Lovely' Tesco Lady'

I think you are BU. I think people can’t do right for doing wrong. I’ve seen so many things on facebook and on online forums about this. There are so many people moaning about different things:

• using Mrs and not Ms, my marriage status should not be included on my Christmas card
• MIL/others using my maiden name on Christmas card, I never changed my name when I married
• calling us Mr and Mrs husbands initial, this is not my name.
• using my maiden name, in marri e and have changed my name and am proper of this
• not using Mrs
• not using husbands initial as this is incorrect etiquette
• I’m a Dr and my title is not recognised on my Christmas card

And now this! They’ve used my first name.

The list is endless and maybe I’m naive, but I don’t think anyone is trying to cause offence or send a passive aggressive message when sending a Christmas card, I just think they are tying to be nice and kind and send a card to let you know they are thinking of you.

If I know someone well enough for them to send me a chirstmas card, I know them well enough for them to use my first name.

Also I am pretty sure I know people, and they know me, where we have known each other for years and have been to one another's houses, but where my knowledge of their official last name is pretty shaky!

I did this for a friend’s card as while I’m pretty sure she took her husband’s name, professionally she’s still using her maiden name. So I had a moment of doubt!

I've been a dick this year and sent back any that say "Mr and Mrs DHName" as "not known at this address" 🙊 sends me nuts

When is end my parents birthday cards or mother's day/father's day cards (don't do Christmas cards) I address it Mum or dad, 14 Street name, town, county.

Not even an actual name!

Can't believe no-one has posted a link to this thread

We always get a few cards from DP’s friends who spell my name wrong. People who have known me for years! Think Nicky instead of Nikki. I seriously judge this.

I've been a dick this year and sent back any that say "Mr and Mrs DHName" as "not known at this address" 🙊 sends me nuts When you've been brought up to understand that one particular form of address is correct, and anything else will cause offence, it's very hard to do differently - there's always a small voice inside you saying "but that's rude", even if intellectual you know that Cherry wants to be addressed as Cherry and not Mr and Mrs DH name. It's a bit like if you were to learn in later life that "Thank-you" were regarded as patronising - it would be very difficult to accept help and not say "thank-you.

It's not that people are consciously addressing you as an appendage, they're addressing you in the way that their upbringing told them was good manners.

Fuck me, it's a a Christmas card, not a tax bill. You are being ridiculous.

Hmm I always do this!
"John and Mary"
Or to a family: "The Smiths" ...

It's not really in the Christmas spirit to send cards back! They won't know why you're offended so will probably repeat the same exercise next year.

I wasn't exactly back of the queue as regards exacting pedantry (although I haven't felt worthy enough to join Pedants' Corner on here for fear of major gaffs) however even I wouldn't get het up over what the envelope says.

It pricked my conscience that I addressed my closest Male friend and his Gf only by their first names on the envelope. My excuse was that I was worried about misspelling her last name so hedged my bets by doing it the (as I now know) shoddy, sloppy way.

Oh dear, hide my face in shaaaame.

I can't believe that people still even feel compelled to send Christmas cards in 2017, when so many other more convenient methods of communication now exist. Let alone that it would get on anyone's nerves to be addressed by your actual given name on the envelope.

Glad you've chilled out about it now OP.