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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To update you on last year's AIBU?

215 replies

BangBangPipple · 20/12/2017 07:06

I've name changed a lot since then, but this time last year I posted on AIBU about uninviting DBro and SIL for drinks on Christmas day evening.

The jist of it was that DH and I had just found out we could not have children, and DBro and SIL had just found out they were having a baby a couple of months after they had met. SIL was being particularly insensitive about it and said some pretty nasty things that upset me, and I didn't want to spend my Christmas day in tears.

So for those of you who remember, here's the update:
DNiece was born in the summer. She is a beautiful little ray of sunshine and I adore her.
SIL is still not my favourite person but I have put the past behind me and moved on and actually enjoy her company now, and we are building the foundations for a very good and very positive friendship.
DH and I decided to adopt and bring our own baby home in two weeks.

I look back on this time last year and cannot believe how much has changed. I'm about 5 minutes away from being a #feelingblessed wanker Grin

OP posts:
SimultaneousEquation · 20/12/2017 07:08
Flowers I have something in my eye. This might be the best update I have read all year. Hurrah for all of you!
RarelyInfallible · 20/12/2017 07:10

That’s lovely - very pleased for you.

Trumpton · 20/12/2017 07:11

Lovely news and just think when you update next time you will have your beautiful little ray of sunshine. >

PastaOfMuppets · 20/12/2017 07:11

Didn't read your original thread, but this is a nice postscript! Enjoy parenthood and have a lovely Christmas 😊

mickeysminnie · 20/12/2017 07:12

That is so lovely! Happy Christmas!

SavoyCabbage · 20/12/2017 07:14

I didn’t see your original thread but what a fantastic update. Actual tears here.

beyondworriedmum · 20/12/2017 07:15

Aw what a lovely post Merry Christmas to you and yours 😊

Japanese · 20/12/2017 07:17

That's lovely - happy Christmas!

You need to come back and update again next year when it's your first Christmas together with your DC Smile.

LadyGAgain · 20/12/2017 07:17

So lovely things do happen to MNetters! Congratulations and enjoy your own Ray of sunshine. Merry Christmas Xmas Smile

Quimby · 20/12/2017 07:18

Congrats

Out of interest how did you manage to decide to adopt, get approved and be given a baby within the space of a year?
Is that normal in the uk/England?
In the same situation and am stealing myself for adoption taking many many years

WaxyBean · 20/12/2017 07:19

My eyes are leaking! Lovely update - congrats OP

OrinocoDugong · 20/12/2017 07:19

Happy Christmas.
Who's chopping onions in my bedroom this early in the morning anyway?

Thank you for updating and you go right ahead and #feel blessed. It's only the posting about it on Facebook that is objectionable.

MelaniaMacron · 20/12/2017 07:23

Fantastic news. Beautiful update. Do keep us updated about your new DC...

BuggerLumpsAnnoyed · 20/12/2017 07:23

This is wonderful

Rossigigi · 20/12/2017 07:24

That's such a lovely update! This sounds so familiar so I'm sure I read your original post.
Just goes to show you never know what difference a year can make.
Def a case for using #feelingblessed Smile

PavlovaPlease · 20/12/2017 07:24

Merry Christmas!

Original poster
BangBangPipple · 20/12/2017 07:25

Thanks all!!

@Quimby we attended an information evening in January and made an appointment for an initial visit with a Social Worker. That happened in March, we formall started Stage 1 in April (takes 2 months), started Stage 2 in July (takes 4 months) and were approved in October.

Had our first call about a child that same day - decided we werent right for that child but if that had gone differently he would be home by now. The child we are now being placed with we were approached about a month ago and they squeezed a matxhing panel in for yesterday so we can start intros in the New Year as he has had a failed match and so has been in care longer than they would like.

This time frame has been about the same for our peers in rhe same intake as us Smile

OP posts:
Smashpumpkin · 20/12/2017 07:26

Thanks for the update! Congratulations! Smile

bananafish81 · 20/12/2017 07:30

Congratulations! Echoing Quimby- how have you found the process? Everyone I know who's adopted has taken much longer just to get to panel, before even getting to match and hopefully bringing a LO home. Anyone with infertility wasn't allowed to start proceedings until at least 6 months after finishing treatment and were completely done with attempted to conceive, because they had to show that they had accepted not being able to have a birth child. That's terrific if you've managed to do it sooner?

Also, how are you bringing a baby home- are you doing foster to adopt? The only adopters I know who were able to be matched with a baby were willing to do foster to adopt (which many aren't willing to risk). Everyone who did straight adoption was matched with a toddler at the very youngest end

We also can't have children, so would be very interested to understand more about how you've found the process (and managed to do so in such a short space of time)

Merry Christmas Thanks

cantfindname · 20/12/2017 07:30

How nice of you to come back with such a lovely and positive update.

I wish you and your OH and new baby all the joy and happiness the world can give you xx

bananafish81 · 20/12/2017 07:31

Cross post!! Thanks for sharing OP - so pleased it's been such a positive experience for you and your cohort

EasterRobin · 20/12/2017 07:32

That's so lovely. Who cares about Christmas? This is fucking awesome!

Original poster
BangBangPipple · 20/12/2017 07:35

banana we decided against any fertility treatment which is how we were able to start so quickly Smile we arent going to Foster to Adopt as couldn't bear the heartbreak if it all went wrong. Our baby is more of a toddler i suppose (13 months at the time of placement) but ill be calling him my baby for a long time yet Grin

The process has been surprisingly pleasant and easy, although i appreciate we were lucky and ot everyone has enjoyed it as much.

OP posts:
altiara · 20/12/2017 07:36

Congratulations! Fantastic update Flowers

ArgyMargy · 20/12/2017 07:37

Congratulations OP! Merry Christmas Xmas GrinThanks