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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think you should feel embarrassed eating food you’ve not paid for?

119 replies

BornInSydneyy · 19/12/2017 14:08

Everyone chipped in the same amount of money to get a buffet at work. You had the option to not participate.

One of the people who didn’t pay came up and helped himself to massive plate fulls at least 4 times.

OP posts:
QueenArseClangers · 19/12/2017 14:09

Did you confront him?

Tinselistacky · 19/12/2017 14:10

Send him a bill for it.

Starlight2345 · 19/12/2017 14:10

yes rude..I would of probably said something unless it was leftovers

sooperdooper · 19/12/2017 14:11

I'd go and ask him for his contribution, with a big grin and a 'ah missed getting your £ before for the buffet, it's £ per person'

MikeUniformMike · 19/12/2017 14:12

What about the chap who went to the free buffet, picked up a plate of chicken and ate the lot himself.

crackerjacket · 19/12/2017 14:12

He needs to pay.

Bit like folk in student houses who say 'I don't want pizza" then proceed to eat the leftovers when everyone else has finished!

fuzzywuzzy · 19/12/2017 14:12

Reminds me at college we arranged a sit down four course meal and charged everyone it was for charity & ticketed.

One lecturer refused to buy a ticket, turned up and ate, when asked for money for his ticket (tickets were cheap), he made excuses, and never paid.

So no people aren’t ashamed, but they should be.

BitOutOfPractice · 19/12/2017 14:14

I find it totally cringe-worthy.

Like a breakfast / dinner buffet at a restaurant when people pile up their plate / several plates really high and leave half of it. That also makes me cringe

Eatalot · 19/12/2017 14:14

Always have end of year buffet for my students and ask them all to bring 1 item. Some bring more some bring nothing. The ones who bring nothing always are the first to jump in and eat the most. Generally it is the students who are poorest why they dont bring anything and why they eat so much as they may not eat well again.

Sure there are cheeky fuckers but they wont feel shame and probably feel the opposite. Free lunch on these chumps, score. I wouldn't worry about it.

Rebeccaslicker · 19/12/2017 14:15

Urgh. Shame him!!

MyKingdomForBrie · 19/12/2017 14:18

Whoever collected the money needs to go and ask him for his contribution ASAP. If you’re embarrassed just say ‘oh we are glad you decided to join in, it’s ‘x’ amount please (big smile). CFs often only get away with it because no one has the nerve to confront!

DarthMaiden · 19/12/2017 14:20

People get away with this crap because everyone else lets them for fear of being rude or creating a confrontation/atmosphere.

The thing is these buggers don't care about being rude - they already are - and rely on everyone else being too polite to pull them up on their behaviour.

Upshot is if you have cheeky fucker in your life it's because you're generally enabling their behaviour.

I don't because I'm the sort of person who would say loudly to them on their first bash at the buffet "what are you doing? You refused to pay for this, so don't expect the rest of us to subsidise you, go and eat elsewhere unless you want to reimburse everyone before you take a plate".

OliviaStabler · 19/12/2017 14:22

YANBU. I really hate cheeky / greedy fuckers like this.

TheFSMisreal · 19/12/2017 14:30
  1. are you sure he didn't contribute?
  2. could he be having a hard time right now and that food is all he would eat that day?
  3. does it really matter? Its Christmas, a time for giving. Now you've given him a Christmas present.
youngestisapsycho · 19/12/2017 14:34

Why was he allowed to return a further 3 times to fill his plate? Did no one say anything to him... I'd have told him to feck off!

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 19/12/2017 14:41

Didn't anyone say anything to him?
I'd leave a note on his desk/work station saying "you owe £X for the buffet contribution, since you had 4 platefuls"

Jux · 19/12/2017 14:51

How was this organised? It sounds bonkers to have people pay for something and then just leave it lying about so anyone can have it too.

Isn’t it more sensible to do it in a separate place so only those who paid can get at it?

Send him a bill.

Hillarious · 19/12/2017 14:53

Exactly how much food was available if someone not "participating" had four lots of food?? All I can say is that food waste should be avoided. Sounds like this is what was happening.

LuluJakey1 · 19/12/2017 14:57

No point moaning here if you did not speak up at the time and it upset you that much.

VladmirsPoutine · 19/12/2017 15:02

I'm assuming others noticed too. I gather you were watching him and were able to count the amount of times he returned to the buffet and the amount of food he piled on. I'm guessing you were with one or two colleagues silently watching and seething?

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 19/12/2017 15:10

Some people just have no shame.
I was once gobsmacked to see a table of 4 well dressed, affluent-looking adults at a very nice hotel in Prague, taking a mass of food (besides what they were actually eating) from the lavish breakfast buffet, and slipping it into their bags. Fruit, croissants, Danish pastries, pots of yoghurt, you name it, back and forth for more. They kept surreptitiously looking around to make sure no staff were watching.

Our table was close by and we couldn't help seeing.
At least they weren't Brits - I'd have been so mortified if so.

kateandme · 19/12/2017 15:13

did anyone confront him.do you know the bloke.if so is he someone who would steal for the sake of a freebie or could he generally be hungry and struggling and so its Christmas lets give to those who cant

expatinscotland · 19/12/2017 15:22

Why did no one say anything? 'Oi, X, what are you doing? You said you weren't participating, you cheeky monkey! That's a fiver there.'

PavlovianLunge · 19/12/2017 15:27

Either call him out on this, and get his contribution, or don’t do it again. Anyone who wants to do something next year can go out for lunch/coffee as a group.

Blackteadrinker77 · 19/12/2017 15:29

Is he very short of money? Or just a piss taker.