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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

My DH does not want me on the iPad while tv is on

107 replies

Cab65 · 19/12/2017 08:16

When we are watching tv in the evenings my DH does not like me being on my iPad even though it is on mute. He says we should be watching tv together. He does however look at his iPad various times during the evening. I can’t see what the problem with me doing the same is.

OP posts:
Shadow666 · 19/12/2017 08:17

Do what you like. I often do other stuff while watching TV. Its perfectly normal.

SoulStew · 19/12/2017 08:17

Haha....weird. Stare at this screen with ME in silence!

SoulStew · 19/12/2017 08:17

Your dh is weird....not you!

FannyWisdom · 19/12/2017 08:18

Do you stand in front of the telly reading it?
Tell him to knob off.

SaucyJack · 19/12/2017 08:18

He can turn the TV off then. Problem solved.

millmoo · 19/12/2017 08:18

Tell your DH to do one -he doesn’t have the right to control what you do !

Believeitornot · 19/12/2017 08:19

Ask him why is it ok for him to look at his iPad but not you.

Margomyhero · 19/12/2017 08:19

I annoy DH by knitting when watching TV.

Click click clickety click... Xmas Grin

ByAllMeansMoveAtAGlacialPace · 19/12/2017 08:20

He's not the boss of you! Tell him to buzz off.

MessyBun247 · 19/12/2017 08:22

Is he controlling generally?

Wait4nothing · 19/12/2017 08:22

We use iPad/phones if the other has chosen the program or it’s shitty tv. We both put them away for programs we choose to watch together (either a film or box set). This way we watch it properly and don’t have to keep asking the other what happened

Tinselistacky · 19/12/2017 08:22

Margo are you knitting dh a mankini for Christmas??
Your dh is a control freak op -

laudanum · 19/12/2017 08:23

Gawd.

OH NO YOU'RE NOT PAYING HIM ALL THE ATTENTION

🙄

Okay so I can see both sides. If I'm with someone I don't give a shit about social media etc. I want to put my attention into them, but if he's watching TV then it's just a larger iPad, and you might not like what he's watching. So like no? Tell him you want him to stop watching TV and focus on your iPad instead. :P

LostInShoebiz · 19/12/2017 08:23

What are you doing on your iPad? I'd find it quite distracting to have a second tv show playing, albeit on silent, in the corner of my eye.

BlindAssassin1 · 19/12/2017 08:24

My DP has this same opinion. 'Let's look at this big screen together, rather than look at two screens where we both get to look at something we like'.

Sometimes I do want to watch tv too, but since DP has colonized the tv he can naff off.

JacquesHammer · 19/12/2017 08:24

I think it depends actually OP.

If it's been a "let's watch a movie together" then you sit down and start ipadding then I can see how it would annoy.

If it's just him watching something on TV then he is unreaonsable

OwtFerNowt · 19/12/2017 08:24

While I don’t think your DH can tell you not to go on the ipad, you can hardly claim ‘we are watching tv’ if you’re not actually watching it.

Are you saying you want to watch something with him, then looking at the ipad half the time and not following the program and then asking loads of questions about it? Because that would be very annoying.

If you aren’t actually watching tv but just want to be companionable by sitting in the same room as him while he watches then that’s different and totally fine.

Velvetbee · 19/12/2017 08:25

Say sweetly, 'I'm sure you don't want to come across as a controlling arse, do you darling?'

Sweetpea55 · 19/12/2017 08:26

A bit controlling isnt it? And hypocritical,,tell him to sod off

Smeaton · 19/12/2017 08:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Ragwort · 19/12/2017 08:26

Tend to agree with Wait - I think it's rude to be constantly on your ipad/phone etc if you have specifically chosen to spend the evening together watching a film/series on tv.

But if it's just a mindless 20 minutes between eating dinner and then doing something else then so what?

But my DH & I solve the problem by rarely sitting together in the same room anyway Grin - if I just wanted to spend time on my ipad I would probably go and sit in the bedroom if he was watching something i didn't want to watch in the living room.

FlouncyDoves · 19/12/2017 08:26

He’s fair to do this. Watching tv is a shared experience and it sounds like he wants to share it with you. It’s a nice thing, coming from a place of love.

AliceWhatsth3Matter · 19/12/2017 08:27

That's very controlling of him. Does he have other controlling behaviours.

My ex was looking me this. I was forced to watch what he wanted. If it was a film, the curtains would be drawn and the lights off so it was impossible to do anything else.

It was just one of many controlling things which gradually developed until I found myself in a restrictive cage, fearful all the time.

So I'd take a good look at what else he does and how he reacts if you carry on using the iPad, for example.

AliceWhatsth3Matter · 19/12/2017 08:28

My ex was like this!

diddl · 19/12/2017 08:31

"Watching tv is a shared experience "

Oh my-really?

Well if you've agreed to watch a film/programme together yes, but other than that?

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