Ambu to be tired of In laws buying fake Christmas presents?

[thiskittenbarks]

I feel an important preface to this is that my FIL and his wife are very wealthy - as in each family member is getting a brand new Porsche for Christmas(and not that it's relevant but DH didn't grow up with this wealth as his dad ran off and started a new family as soon as he came into money).
Every year they buy us fake designer stuff for Christmas/ birthday. Bad fakes. No harm is done, but I'd rather have a primark handbag than a very obvious fake Dior bag. It's a bit of a waste as I'm simply never going to use them.
When we had our son they got him some fake designer clothes and toys that were from China (ordered off a random website). I felt really uneasy about it (having previously worked in product safety I know that counterfeit products can be genuinely unsafe and toys that don't meet regs can contain lead and all sorts). DH asked them not to do this, as they might not be safe. But we've never said anything about the fake clothes / bags for us.
It does bother me though because I know they would never dream of wearing the stuff themselves. I've been shopping with them loads and seen SMIL spend serious money on designer clothes for herself and her children (my BILs and SILs from FILs second family). Not that that means that she should spend that type of money on us on us but I just feel like its a bit of a slight. They clearly think we are too poor to know that a real Gucci bag probably doesn't come with a headache-inducing stench of polyurethane.

We never know how to react either - are we supposed to pretend we think we have been gifted a real Prada handbag (even though it's stuffed with Chinese newspaper)?? It's really uncomfortable but we tell them every year that they shouldn't spend so much (and that they needn't get us anything at all).

As much as I dislike them, the bad fake handbags don't really do any harm. But this year we received quite a few expensive candles from them. I know they are fake as I've looked at them alongside some from the same shop that I have bought myself. Also the brand don't even make this scent.
I feel like this is a fire risk and I actually feel really annoyed about it. She talked about it as if it was real and I would have though it was if I didn't have several real ones at home to compare it to. I would have assumed it was safe. I feel like she's put my house and my children at risk of fire. Just buy me an aldi one - they smelled exactly like the real deal.
AIBU / AMBungrateful?
I don't know how to stop this madness. It's such a waste of money and I can't even donate the stuff to charity shops as they can't sell counterfeit goods.

Do they know you know they are fake, or are they trying to pass it off as the real thing

I agree with lemon just say thanks, but you don’t agree with the ethics of buying fakes and maybe next year they could donate money to a charity in your behalf in stead?

I also think the time has come for bluntness. Just tell them what you’ve said here. It’s time to cut the crap with these people.

So FIL came into serious money and then shacked up with this woman who decades later buys fakes? I bet she's charging originals to his account and siphons the money for herself each year. Why else would he send the cot back to China?!

Heebie Jeebies

Yes that's the kind of thing I had in mind!!!

If you think FIL doesn’t know then you could approach him in a concerned manner because you’re worried that MIL is being ripped off.

Please don't be passive aggressive with all of this 'regifting' or tiptoeing about.

Time for some bluntness. They are endangering the family by giving you fake candles and similar.

each family member is getting a brand new Porsche for Christmas

really? not radio controlled??

just say thank you and either leave them there or take them with you and put straight in the bin

although my favourite suggestion above is the needing a receipt to return them as they are faulty

I'd say 'you really shouldnt spend so much money on us, just a bottle of wine is fine'

Or go with 'the strap broke, it must have cost a fortune, where did you buy it so I can get it replaced'

What's wrong with being upfront?! Seriously, regifting, hinting etc?! Just tell them it's a fake and you don't want it, if they can they can get their She (and why does he get away scot free he's more to blame) sound awful! everyone gets a Porsche and your fam get a fake candle/cot/handbag.... Wow.

Actually, I'd play it the other way. Say that if they're going to invest money in gifts you really can't get why they buy you fakes. You don't need to discuss value, just make it known that you know they're fake. Unless they're buying you what I call Designer Outletware. Stuff sold in Shopping Villages that is apparently genuine but a bargain (no, it's a cheaper version sold in the Outlet stores). I'd beg/borrow a real bag for Christmas if possible just to put the point across.

Do you work in the public sector? If so you might be able to use this:

Tell them counterfeit goods are problematic because (1) they are often breaking the law and also funding terrorism etc. Therefore if you work for the public sector you have a duty to report. (2) Also in public sector we're being trained on spotting modern slavery and it being our absolute duty to report.

If you are found with counterfeit goods you could lose your job, worst case scenario.

Everyone getting a Porsche may have been an exaggeration but FIL and SMIL have bought eachother a Porsche for Christmas (although they both know they have them already - his and hers - "a bit of fun" apparently) and the only child that is still at home is getting the old Porsche that SMILs new one is replacing, as apparently it's "barely worth anything as trade in" (it's a 2 year old macan)
We don't want or expect gifts like that obviously!

Pollaid wtf? They'd have to be thick as mince to believe that!

This might be helpful: nameberry.com/userlist/view/41852

Ooops, suppose to post that link on another post. Nevermind!

They're clearly quite shameless so I don't think you can shame them. To stop the problem, maybe try specifying early in the season the type of presents that you do want to receive, eg 'We're determined to redecorate this year and would be so grateful for presents in the form of B&Q vouchers - we have so many possessions and just want to improve our environment at the moment' or whatever.

I think I’d cut them off for the Cinderella bullshit. That’s DH’s decision though.

YANBU. They’re being really cheeky and insulting. Make this year the year that you both make it obvious that you know what they are doing.

Even though you don't expect the same level of gifts, I don't think any of us expect that it would hurt and is symbolic. They should treat all the adult children the same. But it's really down to the father and your dh to ensure that happens. In the meantime all u can do is point it out. At least fil changed the cot and seemed like he didn't know. Maybe he honestly doesn't and as it's only been bright up that time he thinks it hasn't continued. Was the candle last year or this years pres?

Just be open and upfront without all the passive aggressive gestures mentioned in this thread. If they get offended you can say you’re sorry they feel hurt but the safety issue has become paramount. If they’re still offended then tough. Just put an end to it.

"It's the thought that counts"

Quite right. And sometimes the thought is "we don't like you and can't be bothered getting you something actually decent, and if you realise that in the process - bonus!"

"FIL, I'm really sorry but we can't accept the fake candles. The fake handbags MIL gives us have been a bit of fun, but the fake candles are just too dangerous to use". Head tilt.

^^ This with bells on!
It does sound suspiciously like the FIL has no idea, and the MIL might be telling him "I got them amazing £££££ designer goods the same value as the Porsche".

Bubble

Whilst losing your CS job might be a stretch, you could be disciplined. I've just sat through hours of training on the subject and it's being rolled out across the CS. Fraud and modern slavery are taken very seriously. We have a duty to report even a suspicion. The Civil Service Code includes 'honesty' and 'integrity'.