To ask the most bizzare 'facts' you have read on mums net

[Ashamedandblamed]

Everyone obviously thinks what they are telling you is true but sometimes their sources or opinions are not factually correct.

What is the most ridiculous or bizzare fact/opinion you have seen ?

"The (compulsory) blazer alone is about £100"

That is outrageous. Is it an academy? Schools shouldn't be allowed to charge ridiculous prices for uniform. The blazers have just gone up to £35 now. Oh, and the PE top was £8.50 not £15.

I read a lot of threads but very rarely post -reading them is enough- I'm glad its not just me who is at some of the replies on the post's.

A golf weekend is guaranteed to involve strippers, substance abuse and infidelity. The idea of your chap playing a few rounds, having a few jars and a curry with mates is naive in the extreme.

Any women who has zero trust issues with their DP attending a stag or golf weekend is ‘cool’

That those who live in inner cities think everyone has access to public transport 24/7. Err no they don't.
That you don't have to drive your dc to do their hobby because they can simply hop on a bus.
That only London prices apply and anyone who pays less or more is lying.
The number of posters who's husband works 24 hours a day 7 days a week 52 weeks a year and so can't possibly do any domestic chores or even look after their own children.
If they do have time off it is spent on their secret highly specialised hobby.

That the police are there to 'log' your every worry, and that Social services/ Helplines/ Charity Support etc is available immediately, then when posters try to access these things, and report back phones not being answered, no appointments available etc, other posters turn on them as if they are not helping themselves!
There seems to be no understanding of the huge grinding organisations - just that everything happens as soon as you need it

I've actually never seen the spa day one. I've seen posters advised to get out of the house and leave the lazy husband to it, but never seen them told to go to a spa specifically.

Any problems at all in child's school?

"Have you considered home schooling OP?"

Haha I love all you cynical people!

All toys are plastic tat and completely unnecessary. Unless they're made of wood, in which case they're classic toys that will be treasured by a child.

"That every can 'just move' if they have problem neighbours, using their bottomless piles of money for deposits and magic wands to wave away logistical problems."

I agree, BeeFarseer. I'm frequently astonished by the 'just move house' comments.

That the only way your DH can succeed in his career is for you to be a SAHM so he can go abroad with next to zero notice every week for big important meetings.

The husband who broke his leg, and has t sit on a sofa for 6 weeks, still as a statue. lazy bloke.

That you can just retrain/ do some courses to increase your earning potential.

Fallen out with a colleague? No problem. Your GP will sign you off sick.

God help you if you try and go off sick with a heavy cold though. That’s not allowed on Planet Mumsnet

Your DHs income is family money, your income is your money.

If your new partner of 6 months has not put you on the title deeds of his home that he has spent 20 years paying the mortgage on he is financially abusing you.

That you're not rich on £100k a year because omg it's not nearly as much as an oligarch has is it?

Autism.

When a parent with a child with autism asks on boards outside of the sen board, questions about challenges they are facing and answers are sugar coated.

I am an autism trainer (trains employees- psychiatrists, psychologist, nurses etc) and have worked with those on the spectrum my whole working life. Autism is not a sliding scale- if you are on the one end you are a little autistic and if you are on the other you are severely autistic, it doesn't work like that.

Autism makes up of over 400 (and counting) different traits. For one person with autism it means they have 6 of those traits, for another they may have 150 traits.

But it's when I hear 'but he must be good at maths!' 'But she must be really quirky!' 'I bet he has a really good memory!'

The reality is far far different. Parents are fighting for every bit of support they can get, firstly for diagnosis, and then in school. But it doesn't end there. This fight will continue their whole lives.

For example:- How do they now manage with their adult child who is now 6ft 2 and weighs 20st. How do they manage when they become over stimulated and challenging behaviour inevidently happens? Who is going to stop them harming themselves or others?

Often they will need to go into supported living/residential support, this can be hundreds of miles away if that is the nearest place that can adequately support their child.

But each time I read these 'sugar coated' statements of how amazing it is, and how they should be blessed to have a child with autism I want to throw my phone.

Those wispy leggy non-spiders that seem to crop up in corners if you haven't swept them for a week KILL AND EAT BIG ONES.

I've seen this! It was an epic tussle, I was rivited. Wispy made mincemeat out of him!

Oh, I remember the weirdest thing I've read (and more than once) - if you only earn £50k you're not middle class. In fact, if you have to work at all, you're working class. And deluding yourself if you think otherwise.

I had no idea that "middle class" means "independently wealthy".

I bet that was more interesting than a David Attenburgh documentary Thisname

I once saw a spider launch itself onto something and the speed with which it moved was astonishing. Seeing it happen in real life was amazing.

Definitely the legal ones - this mythical land where the police have a log of exceptionally minor incidents, solicitors give out free advice and nobody can ever be sacked.

Would also throw into the mix the fact that employers HAVE to agree to flexible working.

If you make a sandwich for your teenage DS, you are enabling him to become a spineless user.

Random screeching offensive strangers, however, must be treated with kid gloves at all times and offered crème eggs

That all men watch porn and if you think your DH doesn't watch porn it just means he is doing it secretly.

violetdaze autogynophilia is in the DSm - the "bible" of psychiatric diagnosis. It is not well known amongst the general public though.