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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask those who don't have children and aren't trying, what made you come here?

157 replies

Emlou07 · 17/12/2017 07:17

After reading another thread where there are some ladies who said they don't have children, don't want them and haven't tried..

What made you come to a parenting website?

I understand those who have tried or can't have children etc. - NOT a hate thread, genuinely wondering x

OP posts:
ScreamingValenta · 17/12/2017 13:51

Childfree, not chilfdfree Xmas Grin

MephistophelesApprentice · 17/12/2017 13:52

It’s really unusual to find such an uncensored online space where the dominant voices are female.

That's my main reason. It's fascinating.

And the fights when they occur are hilariously vicious and well written.

SonicBoomBoom · 17/12/2017 13:52

Not sure how I stumbled across it initially, I think it was about 7 years ago. Then, I had no interest in ever having DC.

I loved the quick-witted, hilariously funny replies to threads. The unwavering support given to women in abusive relationships. The topics of discussion were so wide-ranging, far beyond just parenting. It seemed like a lot of really knowledgeable, intelligent women. While I was always a feminist, it helped me understand what I thought and why I thought it, I felt like I'd found my people. Even when people had a different perspective, usually the POV was explained well, so I could better understand where they were coming from.

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 17/12/2017 13:55

Perfectly reasonable question. I sometimes wonder this myself.

No need for all the twattery really.

Original poster
Emlou07 · 17/12/2017 13:56

Dare I ask what the penis beaker is..? Grin

OP posts:
CaptainMarvelDanvers · 17/12/2017 14:09

I once saw a someone mention the forum on another website, basically calling the posters of MN psychos. So I browsed, found the conversations interesting and lurked for ages, then I signed up.

I know this might make me seem like a twit but I like the fact that it is a unapologetic woman dominated space. I enjoy Reddit but you can’t get away from the fact that there is a very toxic misogynistic user base which manages to seep through into practically every subreddit.

Chocness · 17/12/2017 14:19

Bizarre that some people appear offended by the OPs question, the tag line of the logo says ‘by parents for parents’ after all so it’s not an unreasonable question to ask.

I do have children so came to MN because of such. I find most of the views here useful/interesting/thought provoking. Life experience and advice from people of all walks of life is something that can be extremely valuable regardless of parenting status.

ToadOfSadness · 17/12/2017 14:26

I never bothered because I thought it was just a parenting site, my child would be grown up by now had she been alive so no need.

Then I found DIY, Housekeeping, Litter Tray and lots of other interesting things via Google searches for washing machines, repairing things etc.

Also interesting sometimes as neighbours have children/grandchildren.

FithColumnist · 17/12/2017 14:27

Well, I'm neither a lady nor even a woman. Before mumsnet my main online hangout was the Zompist Bulletin Board, which is a linguistics and conlanging place. I discovered mumsnet about three years ago: I always claim I discovered the place because I currently work in education, found the staffroom and stayed for the craic.

But the truth of the matter is that I once googled the term "poo troll" and have never left since... Blush

Madcatter · 17/12/2017 14:47

Came looking for people's experiences of pregnancy with RA - been single for over 10 years so definitely no immediate plans, but wanted to work out whether pregnancy is even an option. Got drawn in to the warmth, witty replies, AIBUs and CFs. Lurked and finally registered. Like a lot of others I love that it's a space where female voices are dominant. I've learnt so much from women who've escaped abuse and gained so much insight into the way I've been treated by men in the past. It's no secret that AIBU can be a pit of vipers but the support given on other threads is something I don't think you see anywhere else.

RoseWhiteTips · 17/12/2017 14:52

Dhfbxbvcccccbbnn

Christmascardqueen · 17/12/2017 14:57

My dd and sil asked me to research sw London schools for them. Discovered the chat section and found it interesting.

Trills · 17/12/2017 14:59

It’s really unusual to find such an uncensored online space where the dominant voices are female.

That's why I stayed.

Why I came, er, I think it was a Google search for something.

Trills · 17/12/2017 15:03

People who ask "why do you spend time here?" can fuck off with their lack of imagination - it's fairly obvious after the first five minutes spent on this site that you don't have to be interested in children to get a lot out of it.

Asking how you arrived seems reasonable. You do have to at some point actively click on a link that says "mumsnet".

EmilyChambers79 · 17/12/2017 15:37

I love the Archers thread but as I only get to listen to the omnibus edition on Sundays then I daren't go on during the week for fear of spoilers

Can you just start the Archers or would you need to listen to it from the beginning?

Lizzie48 · 17/12/2017 15:48

I know it annoys childfree people to be asked this question, but I also wondered about this in the past. It just seemed incongruous to be on a site called 'mumsnet', especially with women who appear from their comments to actively dislike children.

But I do get it now, as I've seen what a great site it is for women, whether mums or not. It's the kind of site I would have been interested in before I got married, when I wasn't at all broody, as I was always interested in women's issues.

YesThisIsMe · 17/12/2017 17:45

Grin at the idea of starting the Archers from the beginning. Obviously it is possible to start listening sixty years in because otherwise their listening figures would be decreasing rapidly now as the original listeners died off. However I think most people start listening because they’re stuck in a physical position where they can’t easily avoid listening - commuting with Radio 4 on the car radio or sharing a house with a fan and they gradually pick up the story so far over a period of months until they suddenly find themselves downloading episodes they missed on iPlayer because they want to know whether Linda did find a last minute replacement Principal Boy.

MissDuke · 17/12/2017 17:50

Mumsnet, despite the name is not just about parenting. I actually don't think I have ever been on any forums directly related to parenting in a few years! I hang around on AIBU, property, household, religion etc and anything I want to know I google and add mumsnet on the end. Eg 'what causes a migraine mumsnet'. I just think it literally has all the answers!!! There are so many knowledgeable people here. There is something for everyone.

I do have children but I don't actually gain anything from the parenting bits. One of my children is disabled and I tried the SEN bit but found it awful lol so I avoid like the plague.

GoldenWorld · 17/12/2017 17:50

I joined because I'm a midwife so am interested in pregnancy/childbirth issues - I used to be on a midwifery forum and there was some bust-up between there and here for some reason. Think someone had started a thread here saying all midwives are evil witches or something like that.

Anyway, I came over here to have a look and then ended up looking at chat, AIBU, TV, relationships etc. and found it interesting so stayed.

SilverySurfer · 17/12/2017 18:52

This has been asked a lot, which you may not know.

I couldn't have children, had never heard of MN until I googled something which linked to here.

I'm mostly on AIBU, Chat, Money, In the News, Politics, Classics, Relationships, Baby Names (some suggestions are ghastly and I'm shocked no one has taken my advice to call their son Ichabod Grin.

I find MN fascinating with posters of all ages who range from being wealthy to those at the other end of the scale. MN posters are predominantly left wingers who loathe the Tory Party and blame it for the ills of the world while I am a Tory voter which can make for some interesting discussions.

AIBU is frequently described as a nest of vipers which is not wrong but if someone is genuinely in trouble people can be extremely kind, offering advice and support. That also goes for the Relationship board where I've seen a poster supported from first tentative thoughts about her relationship, all the way through to the divorce. It may take three or four threads but she is supported and helped and guided throughout. That's pretty special and has nothing to do with whether anyone has children or not.

Laiste · 17/12/2017 19:58

Ah - you are post 'penis beaker' OP.

A relative newby in my eyes then Grin

You'd have to google it.

CheekyRedhead · 17/12/2017 20:56

I saw the aibu twitter account which made me laugh so thought I'd check out the real thing and found it to be more than the funny posts I'd seen. I did however comes on years ago to read the infamous penis beaker story

BobbinThreadbare123 · 17/12/2017 20:58

^It’s really unusual to find such an uncensored online space where the dominant voices are female.

That's my main reason. It's fascinating.

And the fights when they occur are hilariously vicious and well written.^

Also why I stayed. I think I followed some Sali Hughes thing to get here.

MissDuke · 17/12/2017 20:59

Goldenworld I recall that, I was a member of both forums when that kicked off!

Cheeseislife · 17/12/2017 21:03

I came here for the swearing Grin