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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Would you call a land line at 9.30pm?

248 replies

Tinkerbec · 16/12/2017 21:34

Someone has just called my home for my mother who is out. Waking up my dd.

I think it is way too late. I know its a Saturday but really!AIBU?

I find land lines intrusive at the best of times.
Grrrr! Not happy.

OP posts:
MsMarvel · 17/12/2017 11:50

Yanbu if its your house.

Yabu if its your mums house.

If its your mums house and somebody phones to speak to her at 9.30pm, and shes usually home and awake at that time, then its absolutely nothing to do with you.

If you want to not have a landline phone that could potentially ring 24 hours a day, stay somewhere else.

Kursk · 17/12/2017 11:52

For me I won’t call before 7:00am or after 8:00pm

If I get a call after 8 my immediate thaught is “who died??”

confusedlittleone · 17/12/2017 11:53

9pm Sunday- Thursday but 10pm on Fridays and Saturdays is my general rule

hendricksyousay · 17/12/2017 11:55

Turn your phone off if it wakes your child ! 🙄

Lizzie48 · 17/12/2017 11:55

Until recently, mobile calls were ridiculously expensive, and you had to use a landline for longer calls. With the better deals on offer that isn't the case anymore so I can see that there are good reasons not to have a landline, especially saving money on the rental.

It might be a good idea, as my MIL would then call my DH's mobile, which would be a lot less intrusive into our family life. My DB as well, who I'm very low contact with because of our abusive childhood, my DH is normally the one who deals with him, too.

The others could definitely call or message my mobile.

Maybe more hassle than it's worth to explain it to MIL though haha!! Grin

Original poster
Tinkerbec · 17/12/2017 11:59

I think someone has died.

Exactly this.

MsMarvel no matter who the house belongs to. I think it’s rude to disturb am aquantance after around 8pm cow bell or no cow bell.

Also dd doesn’t wake at the drop of a pin but at two phones ringing loudly in stereo. They even wake me.

OP posts:
raisinsarenottheonlyfruit · 17/12/2017 12:02

10 if I didn't know them. Going to bed at 9 is pretty unusual.

grannytomine · 17/12/2017 12:03

I always thought it was supposed to be good manners not to call after 10 pm or before 9 am.

bananafish81 · 17/12/2017 12:04

I can only assume that the posters who can't get their head around having a landline don't talk to elderly relatives on the phone

How elderly is elderly?

I don't have any grandparents - my uncle is in his 70s, we talk via Facetime mostly

Don't have any family who are any older than that - they've all since passed

My dad is in his mid 60s, he just changed landline number to get rid of all the junk calls. He only keeps it for the burglar alarm to call out on - doesn't plan to ever use it as a phone. We Facetime.

crunchymint · 17/12/2017 12:10

Elderly is up to 90 in my family. And some in their 80s can't manage a mobile phone as their fine motor control is not good enough to manage the buttons - they have a landline phone with very large buttons on it for disabled people. Its not all about fear of new technology. There are a number of reasons why using a landline is more accessible to some people.

LoniceraJaponica · 17/12/2017 12:11

88 bananafish - one with alzheimers, and one who has had several TIAs and is beginning to have memory problems. Being able to ring us is a bit of a lifeline for them.

We will continue to keep our landline though because it is a useful backup, even though we do use our mobiles/Skype more.

LoniceraJaponica · 17/12/2017 12:13

Some good points crunchymint MIL has a corded phone with large buttons as she has terrible eyesight.

Getting old sucks and we take so much for granted when we are young that we forget how difficult things can become when our faculties start to go.

bananafish81 · 17/12/2017 12:16

Makes total sense - I can only hope my family live to such an age that we end up needing to use a landline for similar reasons

Meowstro · 17/12/2017 12:18

My DM, MIL and FIL all do it. ILs notorious for doing it at 11pm sometimes and are amazed at the fact DD is still up (screaming), not thinking perhaps the phone might have disturbed her. If I do it to DM she panics thinking that someone has died/in hospital...funny that Hmm

crunchymint · 17/12/2017 12:20

Maybe by the time we are old enough to have these needs, the market will have adapted to this. Decent voice control recognition to dial a number for example, should be pretty standard in the future. And hopefully better lines so that voices are clearer. But at the moment some people have to use landlines.

RebeccaWrongDaily · 17/12/2017 12:24

i don't know why you wouldn't! It's 9.30, not 3am!

The only people I know who are in bed by 9 are primary school children, parents of newborns, people with chronic illnesses.

meredintofpandiculation · 17/12/2017 12:26

For me I won’t call before 7:00am or after 8:00pm Why would you feel it was OK to ring as early as 7am when you wouldn't ring at 8.30pm? Many of us aren't even awake at 7am, and if we are, then we're running around in small circles trying to get ready to go out. has the working day really changed so much that people are routinely up from 6am onwards and ready to take phone calls at 7?

crunchymint · 17/12/2017 12:28

7 am is too early.

meredintofpandiculation · 17/12/2017 12:29

Maybe by the time we are old enough to have these needs, the market will have adapted to this. Decent voice control recognition to dial a number for example, should be pretty standard in the future. That isn't the panacea it seems. Along with motor control, speed of thought declines in age, and the ability to use voice control is no longer there.

bananafish81 · 17/12/2017 12:31

Maybe by the time we are old enough to have these needs, the market will have adapted to this. Decent voice control recognition to dial a number for example, should be pretty standard in the future. And hopefully better lines so that voices are clearer. But at the moment some people have to use landlines

We don't have an Alexa and I don't know yet if it has the ability to call someone - I'm guessing not but I'm too lazy to look it up. If not then I would guess it won't be too long before the quality of voice control calling via something like Alexa rivals a landline. But I'm not a futurologist or a technologist!

BulletFox · 17/12/2017 12:34

God you're reminding me of when I worked abroad for a few years and my family never got to grips with the time difference and I'd sit bolt upright in shock when the phone went off at 3am thinking something was wrong.

'Is everything ok?'
'Yes darling, anyway blah blah blah'
'It's 3am here and I have work soon...'
'Ok, anyway blah blah blah'

It's your mum's place? Really don't think 9.30pm is too late

crunchymint · 17/12/2017 12:40

mered Good point.

I stopped trying voice control things a while ago as it never recognises my accent and is just frustrating to use.

WinchestersInATardis · 17/12/2017 12:41

I think after 8pm is too late.
Some people are natural early birds rather than night owls (I know at least two separate individuals who get up at 4-5 and go to bed 8.30 to 9).
You can't just go 'ha ha I never go to bed before 11' as justification for ringing someone else late when their routine might be very different.
Unless you know the person is a night owl, then it's rude to ring late.

crunchymint · 17/12/2017 12:42

After 8pm!!!

crunchymint · 17/12/2017 12:42

I am guessing they don't work full time and have children.