What I have learnt from Mumsnet

[Parker231]

(putting this in AIBU as I couldn't think of another place)

As the title says - I like reading Mumsnet for the range of opinions and subjects discussed but off the top of my head and in no particular order have learnt the following (and yes I know there are always exceptions)

• there are a large number of SAHM's - I don't know any but have always worked ft
• very scary how many women don't have equal access to family money
• seems to be a large number of women still living in the 1950's
• breakfast and after school are seen as a negative
• lots of poor parenting by fathers
• cooking from scratch is perceived as a major positive - I'd never heard of this term before Mumsnet and don't think I have ever cooked from scratch (DH probably does!)
• the vast majority of childcare is still done by mothers
• ditto for household admin
• significant number of women who work, only work part time
• seems that if one parent is to be the "stay at home", in the majority of cases its the mother
• why are more fathers the major earners and have better careers? Did women not go to school and get qualifications?
• cooking and housework seems to be done mainly by women
• men work very long hours so can't do housework and shopping
• lots of women don't seem to have any hobbies/activities on their own outside the home

I find it interesting to read the different ways we all manage our life, family, work, relationships.

I have learned the power of a 'tinkly little laugh.' Oh and to LTB

MN really is another world.

Yes that no one will ever mention the hobby because it's 'outing'. I struggle to think of any hobby so rare and unique that knowing a person (or their husbands) did it would immediately make them identifiable.

Also zoflora

I've learnt no matter whatever is said someone always comes out with a trite statement about sahms as not being 'fulfilled', having a rich OH or just being too poor and/or uneducated. There are other scenarios you know. I would never judge any other woman for working yet sahms seem fair game for PA judgey pants.
I have always worked but decided for a period of time not to - I have my reasons and it's shitty being judged.

If you dont want get slated dont post in an AIBU bunfight

In an emergency/moment of need there is ALWAYS someone around to offer advice

Some threads and topics are more gentle and friendly others if you are looking for a laugh and company

Some people hoik their judgy pants so high they cant see over the knicker elastic

The amount of bleach usage is a shocker. Bleurgh.

I think Zoflora is ok but the smell is a too strong.

Ham in coke is absolutely disgusting. I tried it.

I’ve learnt that lots of things are “outing”, not just hobbies. I have no idea whether any of my mates are on MN so don’t know whether they’ve guessed who I am. I don’t post very much so I assume not. I don’t think I’d be that bothered if they did, I might name change if I could remember how and could be arsed.

I’ve also learnt that a lot of people who post in AIBU are looking to vent their aggression about something. Or nothing. Often nothing. On other boards (for example the pregnancy board or breastfeeding board) you tend to find more pragmatic people who are often also caring and supportive and lovely.

Finally I’ve learnt that it doesn’t matter whether I’m a SAHP or a p/t WOH parent or a part time WIH parent or a full time trapeze artist. Unless I am EXACTLY THE SAME as the OP on threads such as these, I am often left feeling dismissed and/or inferior to said OP. Merry Christmas.

Ps I have not learnt about Zoflora. I’m off to google that.

what is it with zoflora?

The one good thing about Zoflora is that it's not bleach, but don't know why it's hailed as the best thing ever.

The hobby is ALWAYS cycling or golf
Hardly outing

I always wonder what the hobby is too. I have learned that if you give the kids the veggies before the meal they are more likely to eat the veggies. Can’t remember which thread I got that tip from but it’s been a game changer, means the kids are eating and occupied while I’m finishing cooking the rest of the meal.

Wish I had enough time to analyse all messages. Well done you on being the perfect mum.

Being passive aggressive is an art form on MN.
Flutterbyee, who did you think claimed to be the perfect Mum?

I've just read another thread and it seems as though I'm the only person in the world who can manage more than a few slices of Domino's/Pizza Hut pizza (I have been known to eat a large one by myself).

I learnt that some people get completely hysterical at the idea of friends and families doing favours for or inviting each other FOR FREE! The cheeky fuckers! (I quote)

Asking a friend to babysit the kids for a few hours! Charge the cheeky F! How dare she even ask in the first place!
Invite friends to your weddings: how dare they expect free drinks! CF!
Inviting a child on holiday with yours: you must charge them the market rate + inconvenience for the privilege!

I am not clear if you are supposed to charge parents for play dates and inviting the wee ones for tea, but I am still learning.

I've learned that
-dog and cat owners and cyclists are pretty much hated (at least on here)
-that if you work in the service industry you're seen as a lesser person and should know everyone's preferences automatically.

• that you can post on a forum designed basically, to ask for judgement on a situation in your life, and then complain when you are judged.

-that there are some wonderful people that will bend over backwards to help an anonymous stranger. -that some people cannot accept that others live differently, and those differences may not be their choice but circumstances beyond their control. -that ADHD, autism and anxiety are much more prevalent in the wider world than in my limited circle. -that people can be cruel for the sake of being cruel under the guise of 'telling it like it is' -about trolls and troll hunting and how gullible I am! -about the whole transgender situation that is happening, I honestly didn't know or understand many of the issues that are occurring and reading on here has led to me researching and educating myself a little bit. -about inverted snobbery. -that types of addiction are treated differently by society, depending on what the current trend is. -that I'm on glue

My hobby is outing to anyone that knows me. I don't know anyone else in my city that has the same hobby as me. In the UK there are only a few hundred people with the same hobby.

Oh yeah, that so many people take dog ownership so seriously, or are seriously afraid of dogs. Neither has come up repeatedly in real life.

My hobby is outing to anyone that knows me. I don't know anyone else in my city that has the same hobby as me. In the UK there are only a few hundred people with the same hobby

Now I'm curious as to your hobby!!

Now I want to know your hobby @NameChanger22 ! Is it dangerous ?

That you are a paranoid nutter and risk averse pearl clutcher if you:

A) Have any reservations letting your 15 month old baby drag himself to the shop to pick you up some milk.

B) Wouldn’t allow your young dc over to a complete strangers house as obviously you must be dreaming about pedo’s hiding in bushes or something...

Conversely, that you are an irresponsible cock womble if you:

A) Leave the room of a sleeping child for more than ten seconds, even just to pop to the loo DOOM SHALL FALL UPON THEE!!!

B) Ever get out of a car for more than three seconds if your child is still in there. The absence of a parent makes it 1000 times more likely that a car will spontaneously combust.

Also never pierce you babies ears (unless you aren’t English and working class, then it’s fine and cultural)

And feed your baby something. Doesn’t matter what, whatever it is some dick will make you feel bad about it

I've learned that a lot of people don't like child free weddings. We had one, as did many of my friends and even if the DC were invited we left them at home so we could party.

I was shocked to learn how many people hate dogs.

Trolls was another thing I learned about.

I knew there were awful people who attacked on line, you see it reported in thr media, but I’d no clue some people sit and make up problems to post taking away attention from folks with real issues, attention seeking and I guess because it makes them think they are being clever for some weird reason.

I can’t imagine not cooking from scratch....ready meals are simply disgusting