What I have learnt from Mumsnet

[Parker231]

(putting this in AIBU as I couldn't think of another place)

As the title says - I like reading Mumsnet for the range of opinions and subjects discussed but off the top of my head and in no particular order have learnt the following (and yes I know there are always exceptions)

• there are a large number of SAHM's - I don't know any but have always worked ft
• very scary how many women don't have equal access to family money
• seems to be a large number of women still living in the 1950's
• breakfast and after school are seen as a negative
• lots of poor parenting by fathers
• cooking from scratch is perceived as a major positive - I'd never heard of this term before Mumsnet and don't think I have ever cooked from scratch (DH probably does!)
• the vast majority of childcare is still done by mothers
• ditto for household admin
• significant number of women who work, only work part time
• seems that if one parent is to be the "stay at home", in the majority of cases its the mother
• why are more fathers the major earners and have better careers? Did women not go to school and get qualifications?
• cooking and housework seems to be done mainly by women
• men work very long hours so can't do housework and shopping
• lots of women don't seem to have any hobbies/activities on their own outside the home

I find it interesting to read the different ways we all manage our life, family, work, relationships.

Ok but I'm still confused that if you're married to someone who cooks from scratch and you've raised/are raising children, why did it take Mumsnet to teach you that's a positive thing?

TheClaws - why would you be embarrassed for me? I said that I have learnt from Mumsnet the different ways we all live. I’ve done what works for our family, lots of hiccups along the way but find Mumsnet very interesting for the range of opinions on such a wide variety of topics.

Primamadonna - my parents (now retired) both worked ft, my siblings work ft, friends work ft, I can’t think of anyone at my work who doesn’t work ft. I’m planning on an early retirement as I possibly can so looking forward to being at home then

I've learnt that a baby sling is the answer to every baby related problem imaginable! I personally don'g enjoy using them but it makes me laugh every time somebody says "why don't you just get a sling?"

I've also learnt that people come onto a discussion forum and then say things like "what business is it of yours?" if they don't like the topic or don't agree.

BTW - cooking from scratch isn't a thing it's just cooking!

I’m embarrassed for you, OP, because although you profess to have learned all about the ways different women live, you don’t seem to tolerate it. You don’t seem to understand it is okay for people to live differently to you.

As a non-parent, I've learned lots about pregnancy/childcare. Just one example - I hadn't realised 'morning sickness' actually goes on all day. I find this really useful at work, as I manage quite a few people who are parents - it saves my looking dense by having to ask them to explain that sort of thing.

I have learned that there are goady fuckers everywhere.
That sometimes adults are less Internet safety savvy than children.
I have also learned of terrible terrible things such as munting, dragon butter and purple waffle.
Oh and Terry Woman's cock.

I really don't see that as the majority on here at all, I think you are picking up on the bits that seem different to your life.

That there are a lot of people with very poor reading comprehension and who appear to be incapable of reading the whole thread or even bothering to check OP's updates before jumping in.

And that the Nitty Gritty Comb is the most wonderful device in the history of wonderful devices when it comes to getting rid of headlice.

TheClaws - I will never tolerate lack of equality for women. If women choose a particular approach - great but it’s the lack of choice which concerns me. At work I’m working hard to ensure that returning to work from maternity leave is as easy as possible, flexible working arrangements, equal opportunities for training, promotion etc.

I do wonder if Mumsnet is like a holiday website where people only post comments on incredibly amazing holidays or the really dreadful ones but no one posts at the average ok holiday?

BTW - cooking from scratch isn't a thing it's just cooking

It isn't, it's definitely a branch of cooking or at least how you interpret it.

Fish fingers, chips and beans isn't cooking from scratch if you use frozen fish fingers and chips and tinned beans.

Spaghetti Bolognese isn't cooking from scratch if you use a sauce from a jar.

my parents (now retired) both worked ft, my siblings work ft, friends work ft, I can’t think of anyone at my work who doesn’t work ft.

See on another note, MN has taught me how little diversity some people have in their lives/areas they live in.

I know SAHMs, WOHMs and ditto to dads too so it seems strange to me that others might not.

It's the same when people say they don't personally know any Muslims/Sikhs/Hindus etc.

It makes me realise that not everyone lives in a wider (or even wide-ish) circle.

The claws. The op didn’t attack, so I’m not sure why you are. I assume she has hit a nerve.

And yes rhe way some people live would not be tolerable to many of us, poverty, abuse, cheating, squalor, agrression, anger, anxiety, cruelty, controlling, unhealthy, jealous, insecure, general dogsbody . The list is endless. None of it has an easy answer, but neither should we be shrugging and ignoring it if someone posts about it.

Chips and fish fingers isn’t actually cooking though. It’s just reheating!! And I’m not being sniffy BTW - beans on toast is an absolute staple in our house, but it’s not cooking!

That tinfoil boxes have little divots in each end that you press to hold the foil in place so you can tear off just the right amount. It.has.changed.my.life!

Oh, and of course, that someone is breeding mutant chickens that can feed a family of 37 for six months.

Chips and fish fingers isn’t actually cooking though. It’s just reheating

True! Which puts it even further away from cooking from scratch!

I have learned that I am well-educated, moderately wealthy, have a good job & am privileged.

OP, I think it’s a far more complex issue than lack of equality. That is part of problem, yes, but just part. Have you considered some women may wish to work part-time or not at all when their children are young to be the primary caregiver - because they want to? How about women who are ill and cannot work full-time? How about those who haven’t qualifications either because they couldn’t afford them or they simply didn’t have the ability? It isn’t always equality. Sometimes it’s just life.

That everybody hates the MIL 😂

I've learned lots of brilliant new swear words I'll get my coat

If you don't share a majority opinion then you are wrong

I've experienced the opposite. Mn has enabled me to become more confident in my own ideas and thoughts.

That some lives are much more EastEnders than The Archers.

That many people can't acknowledge their luck because they need something much more solid to put between themselves and those less fortunate.

Zoflora here too

it taught me that if it's there someone will get offended at it.

seems to be a large number of women still living in the 1950's

Just today on another thread, the term "Moslem" was used.