Phone conversations on maternity wards

[user1494667160]

It is 7am and the woman in the next hospital bay has been on the phone for the last half hour.
She is doing my head in.
It is a maternity ward so only gave birth yesterday. Absolutely shattered from babies waking up all night (completely reasonable as that is what being on a maternity ward is all about).
But being on your phone and having lengthy conversations at 7am is taking the mick.
I finally drifted off at 6am and woke up to her chatting away loudly.
She is speaking another language as well which means what she is saying to me sounds just like an extra noise!
Raaaaa

I had a room to myself, having had a c section (policy at the time). Next door was a 14 yo mother. Her boyfriend (also 14) kept trying to sneak in, but he had been banned (not sure by whom) and much commotion ensued as security tried to forcibly remove him.

Worse thing for me was family opposite bringing a hot steaming curry in to the ward at 10pm. Smelt grim and after visiting hours. I wouldn't have minded so much if it smelt like a decent curry!

I had to stay in for 5 days when I had my first baby (too long, IMO). Visiting hours was 2 hours for partners in the afternoon, 2 hours for general visitors in the evening. We did have our babies at our bedsides, in little plastic cots.
No phones, obviously, apart from the one on wheels which was kept in the dayroom. Rounds were done in the morning, we could get showered in privacy and have naps if we wanted. Even so, it was still hard to sleep during the night.
It's not just a matter of the standard of care having gone down, it's also the fact that people generally seem to be ruder and lacking in consideration for others. Common sense and basic manners should dictate that you don't talk on the phone when other people are trying to sleep, especially not during the middle of the night. So many people just don't seem to give a shit about anyone else nowadays.

I see no reason to have babies in the ward waking mothers up on the night after having them. I stayed awake worrying about the baby, who needed changing in the night after having a labour of 15 hours. Lack of control of ward noise must add thousands of pounds to the cost of the NHS as it takes a longer time to recover.

I think it's really difficult. I note one poster mentioning her DP being chucked out less than 45 min after a difficult birth and she was left with no support. I think I'd be sneaking phone use then too. A consistent theme here seems to be lack of common sense being applied in some of these environments.

I can't think why anyone thought it was a good idea to turf mothers out before feeding had been established. How can you learn to breast feed before your milk has even come in?

The 'baby-friendly hospital' idea was really just a cost-cutting measure. You don't need so many midwives when mothers look after the babies, day and night. Mothers need to recuperate from the birth with a good night's sleep. And they're not going to get that if they have to look after their baby during the night, as well as being woken up by everyone else's. It's better for the baby, too, to be cared for by someone who knows what they're doing. They also get used early on to sleeping in a crib rather than someone's arms.

I was really shocked by the treatment my dd and ddil received compared with my own experience thirty years earlier. I can only remember one case of PND among my friends. It seems to be much more common now, not helped by reducing the number of home visits from post-natal midwives.

Not totally unreasonable; however when my daughter was born unexpectedly via emergency C-section I called my parents to tell them the news and had to do so from my ward bed as I literally couldn’t get up from having had the spinal and still had catheter in etc. Maybe this is the case for her? I did wait until 7am though out of consideration (baby was born just after midnight) and the phone conversation was a whispered one because I didn’t want people overhearing my business anyway! It was also at the point at which the nurses had turned the lights on. Congratulations btw!

I wanted to claw my own eyes and eardrums out on a shared ward with DS1.

So much so I had 3 homebirths after so I didn't have to experience it again.

People were so fucking rude.

My DH was kicked out as soon as I was taken to the ward at about 3am. EMCS and couldn't move. I was left with my new baby lied in my arms, the staff didn't pass me my bags and I couldn't move. I had to buzz so often to get my water, nappy and wipes and differing bits passed to me, it was awful. I felt so alone and isolated. Didn't chat on the phone but was glad of being able to chat via messages.

All I can say is postnatal wards sound like an absolute nightmare. Think I'd insist on a homebirth nowadays. Total selfishness with the noise, phones, excessive visitors and takeaway food. This posting is a very good contraception, think young girls should be made to spend a night in one of these wards to experience the carnage.

I gave birth in a 'Baby friendly initiative' hospital and it was a total nightmare. Whoever came up with the idea of rooming in new mothers and babies in vast bays with loads of other mothers and babies must have been bonkers. It didn't do anything to help me bond or learn how to care for my daughter - bonding with her took months despite breastfeeding and never being away from her for several months. The BFI doesn't provide any means for the mother to rest as you are constantly disturbed by noise from the other mothers and babies. Let alone the visitors and partners!

Do any British hospitals still have nurseries where you can put the baby overnight so you can rest? I know if I had a second I would avoid a BFI hospital like the plague as it was so awful.

@RidingMyBike no I don't think any British hospitals have nurseries now, I know they did when my nan had my mum but that was a long time ago! Personally I wanted my baby with me - just not everyone else's!

When I had my first in 2012 in an NHS hospital the hospital in question was all private rooms (and very popular for that reason!) unless you needed to be "on the bay" it was lovely! Fast forward to 2014 and the same private rooms were the two to a room and literally for your recovery only, if you needed to stay past a few hours you got moved to the "bay" which I did and was vile.

I was so disappointed when I got to postnatal- the rather scatty Midwife who did our antenatal class had told us all it wasn’t worth paying for a private room as we’d learn so much more sharing bays as staff would come round and do demos of things like baby bathing and we’d make lots of friends with the other mums.

Instead I found Hell on Earth - noisy, dirty. Staff could barely get in to do essential medical stuff because of the hordes of visitors and none of them had time for baby bathing demos. I asked several times for help with this as I was in six nights in total after the birth and my baby was still covered in my blood - hair all matted and disgusting. But no one could help. As for making friends with the other mums, no one spoke to anyone else as they were too busy entertaining visitors or on their phones.

I don't think nurseries will be making a comeback, not while they are trying to increase breastfeeding rates. It's quite important to have the baby as close as possible while you're establishing breastfeeding.

Ridingmybike that's a shame about your baby not being bathed. I remember doing bath demoes on the 3rd day (part of my general nurse training), also we did top and tail demoes on the first day. Loved doing them. Even mothers that were on their second or third babies were given demoes.
Also mothers that were formula feeding were taught how to sterilise the bottles, and given little bottles of formula with screw on teats, all the nappies and baby toiletries were supplied and you used to get things that were actually useful in the bounty packs.

Would mum's really want to put they're babies seperate from them in a nursery. I'd hate to be parted with my newborn .

I can't really comment on the ward as I had a single, ensuite room for 3 nights and one to one care (birth complications).

Miaow

We had excellent help and support. I really do value the time I spent in hospital and all the help I received.
My son was in SCBU but because of their help I was still able to express milk for him to be tube fed and able to leave with him being fully able to breastfeed.
But, they forgot to tell me some vital information re tube feeding. I never knew about drawing the syringe back and using the litmus paper to test the PH to ensure the tube hadn't moved out of his stomach. I never knew about the vitamin K. I never knew about his hernia (he was strapped into a phototherapy suite for a couple days).
I insisted on giving birth at a certain hospital as opposed to my local.

I was in for 3 whole weeks before DS1 was born, in a 6 bed bay. It was hideous and no one was even actively obnoxious there! About 20 degrees too hot, the lady next to me for two weeks snored louder than anyone I've ever heard including my Dad, midwives shouting down the corridors to each other all night long, I had agonising PGP and I had to be woken for a BP check every couple of hours (wonder why it wouldn't go down?). After I had my baby I was put in my own room (c-section with complications) and it was bliss in comparison! AND they used a BP machine that just stayed on my arm all night instead of having to wake me and do it manually - why couldn't they do that before? I was beyond exhausted and broken before I even gave birth. I was in for another two weeks after I gave birth and sobbed with relief for almost an hour when they said we could go home finally!

In contrast, DS2 was an elective section, I had my own room and yes it was a bit noisy but I knew I'd only be in for two nights so it was fine. It was quieter than being at home with a baby, an older child an an emotionally abusive asshole partner anyway.

But my worst ever hospital stay was several nights on an 'Assessment Ward' where I was the only patient under 80 in an 8 bed bay. People being wheeled in and out 24/7, roasting hot, appalling smell (think one lady had gangrene and others were incontinent). Dementia was clearly a major issue for most ladies in with me and it was just heartbreaking (a lady confused and wailing she couldn't find her legs after an amputation every hours or so was the worst). And they wouldn't let my EBF baby stay which I could understand but I was so anxious he'd starve or dehydrate.

I fully intend to avoid hospitals forever more unless I am on death's door. Never having any more babies and the post birth bit is a massive factor in that!

Oh I hated this. The young woman in the next bed to me had a loudspeaker conversation with her boyfriend at 2am where I could hear everything that was going on in his house. It was bloody awy

This thread has bought back memories I have tried to delete dc1 lady opposite going through contact list “guess what I’ve had” she knew a lot of people ! DC 2 one woman calling home every hour during night arrggh - text group messages are invented for postnatal period

Noeffingidea
it's quite important to have the baby as close as possible when you're establishing breast-feeding

Not as important as being able to recover from the birth with a good night's sleep, especially for mothers who need time to adjust to a birth that didn't go as they expected. The actual presence of the baby by your bed is a minor factor set against trying to learn new skills while in a state of sleep deprivation in the sort of conditions described above. A stressed mother is bad for feeding and bonding.

They didn't snatch the babies away immediately when there were nurseries, just down the corridor. Plenty of cuddles but the time comes when both baby and you need to rest and it's pretty near impossible in modern-day post-natal wards. Most mothers seem to be discharged within 24 hours around here, before their milk has come in. If they're going to continue with early discharge, even for first-timers, they need to provide better post-natal domiciliary care. I know 2 couples who ended up in A&E because of minor worries that a midwife could have reassured them about and my ddil had to go on-line to learn how to bathe a baby.

I didn't miss my baby because I was asleep! My time with him during the day because I was in more of a fit state to care for him.

^ my time with him was all the better...

When I had my ds in 1999 in N.I It was in a maternity unit in the old Route hospital ballymoney you were meant to stay in for a week babies were taken into a nursery room, the bloody sewers broke and I was in a 6 bay day unit the heating went off at 5.00pm on the Friday evening, I was lucky though the women in the room with me and the midwives were great, the midwives chucked everyone including husbands out after visiting ( 2 to a bed only) we had great chats at nights, I was only in for 3 nights and when we left we got a card and a little teddy from the midwifery team