Phone conversations on maternity wards

[user1494667160]

It is 7am and the woman in the next hospital bay has been on the phone for the last half hour.
She is doing my head in.
It is a maternity ward so only gave birth yesterday. Absolutely shattered from babies waking up all night (completely reasonable as that is what being on a maternity ward is all about).
But being on your phone and having lengthy conversations at 7am is taking the mick.
I finally drifted off at 6am and woke up to her chatting away loudly.
She is speaking another language as well which means what she is saying to me sounds just like an extra noise!
Raaaaa

My DH is forrin and honestly it isn't racism from me but it gives me unexplainable anger when he's on the phone speaking Dutch. (I obviously don't tell him this, I just leave the room.)

I even understand the language a bit but honestly it makes me soooo annoyed. I can't possibly explain it. The only thing I can liken it to is the rage when you hear someone chewing.

I was on noisy ward for ten days of loud snoring, stinky takeaways and a woman visiting her DIL who talked loudly all through visiting time.

No one paid attention to the two visitors per bed rule - the place was seething.

Eventually, a nurse came in and told all extras to leave.

The toilet was revolting - used pads everywhere...

Whole thing was horrendous.

YANBU at all OP, I really feel for you. That is the reason I discharged myself after 12 hours when I had DC1. I remember there was an Indian lady opposite me and they let her DH stay the whole time as she didn't speak English and I think it was easier for them. Fair enough but they should have given them a side room. They stared and discussed everything everybody else did in their own language. There was a lovely teenage girl next to me and they made a point of tutting at her and the looks they gave her were disgusting! He was creepy and stared intently at you, he complained about us getting annoyed and making a big show of pulling the curtains to feed.

The woman on the other side had just had her sixth DC and her DM and DH were at home watching the other DC's so she spent all her time on the phone to them, even the middle of the night! There was also an incident where one of the dads turned up either high or drunk and assaulted a midwife (looked both to me) and the police were called and took statements. All in 12 hrs!

I paid for a private room with DC's 2 & 3.

And the toilets are a whole thread on their own! No wonder so many women get infections!

Always bring earplugs when staying on any hospital ward. Even if everyone on the ward is considerate, there's still the snoring.

@Chrys2017 I wondered about this - can you do earplugs if you have baby with you? Planning number 2 (ELCS) and dreading the thought of the ward again!

@JaneBanks Hmm... perhaps tell the midwives you're wearing earplugs and ask them to wake you if you don't hear the baby?

Not ideal but better to than the mum screaming at her hours old baby to shut up that I had to endure. Thankfully when the dad was about he had the sense to give it a bottle.

After I'd had a section a midwife decided it would be a good idea to wake me to take my catheter out, I told her no. Who wakes a sleeping mother with a newborn!

Good grief, these stories sound horrific!

When DIL had our granddaughter, she was in labour for ages, then had a c-section. They put her in a private room because she was exhausted and she stayed there until she came home. This was in Brighton, too, where you generally only hear bad things about in-patient stays.

Having a little titter here at the virtue signallers completely missing the point of the post in their hurry to have a go at the OP pointing out the noisy woman was not speaking English.
Of course it is less annoying if you can at least eavesdrop on what is being said!

I tried to get a private room (by paying of course!) when I had dc1 but was told no. I think there aren't many in my local hospital and they rightly like to leave them clear for someone who desperately needs it. I was gutted though!

When I had mine way back in the 70s obviously no mobiles. Husbands only for an hour in the afternoons. Only 2 visitors in the evening for an hour as well. No one stayed, God forbid. We also stayed in for a week, it was relaxed, the nurses were amazing, they did everything for us. We had 3 great meals a day plus hot drink at night. We were all well rested and ready to go home, I don't know how you lot put up with it nowadays.

This is why I brought ear plugs and ear protectors with me onto the maternity ward. Could still hear my baby crying,so I could feed him, but it drowned out the noise of everything else enough for me to sleep. Highly recommend it.

Not understanding the language DOES make it worse. Your brain processes it differently so it IS more intrusive. Sounds hellish OP I hope someone puts a stop to it.

When I had dd3 it was hellish on the ward. One woman was constantly on her phone complete with pinging from WhatsApp/text messages all day and night and with the tones from the phone keys and had hoardes of visitors all day long. She had been moved from one bay already after numerous complaints.

The bathroom was filthy with used pads and pots of urine everywhere with different names on(obviously samples for the midwives to measure)

After 36 hour post crash c-section I flipped and told the midwives that I was going home as id had barely any sleep in nearly 3 days and I needed rest after a very traumatic delivery . Snotty midwife told me that i couldn't as i still had a catheter in and they were far too busy to remove it. So I used the syringe the hca gave me to harvest colostrum and I removed the catheter myself (I'm a nurse) packed my stuff and rang partner to collect me.

Never ever again. If there is a 4th then there is no way in hell I'm going back there.

Congratulations OP, I hope you're feeling a bit better by now.

When I had ds2 he was born by EMCS at 31 weeks and whisked straight to NICU. On the mat ward three nurses came round asking me accusingly where my baby was before I dissolved into a snivelling heap and begged to be let out of there. In the end I got up, packed my bag and phoned my husband to collect me. They left my paperwork in NICU for my to collect. Two and done, not going through any of that again!

There's something wrong when most campsites have stricter rules on noise and mess than hospitals do.

I couldn't stand one night in one of those places. I don't like being vulnerable and exposed in front of an audience- especially not men. With DS3, for some reason there were four men in the bay next to me with a mother, they were told they were not supposed to be there but they stayed anyway. After that I didn't see any staff other than the lady bringing the food round- no midwives anywhere. The woman opposite had to sit in the chair so her OH could have a lie down on the bed because he was tired, in between dozes he loves the sound of his own voice, cracked pathetic jokes and was too invested in what everyone was doing. No one wanted to hear it! I couldn't close my curtains because I was near the door, so everyone coming in and out or wanting to use the sink, had to go through where I was. I was lucky enough to not need to be there but had given birth in the night. As the morning progressed, it was clear no one was around to sign me off so I discharged myself. I didn't feel safe to stay one fucking second longer.

I've gone through the maternity wards 4 times. The third and second time was the only time I found it calm and peaceful, probably because there were only three of us in the room. My last stay was awful. Ten beds in one room. A woman came into the room in the middle of the night after having an emergency c section and was trying to breastfeed. The baby was hysterical as wasn't taking any milk and they were feeding it through a syringe but not taking anything. There must have been 6 staff around this woman all talking at the tops of their voices at 3 AM. The poor woman was in tears. I'm so glad I've been sterilised so no more.

When I had my eldest (almost 18 years ago) the girl in the bed opposite was 14 and had just had a C section. She was also in foster care herself. She wasn't 'allowed' any privacy with her baby at all and was not permitted to draw the curtains round her bed, and she said herself that this was one of the main reasons why she chose to bottle feed instead of breastfeeding.
Less than 24 hrs after her C section two social workers turned up and demanded that the midwives gave them a private room to speak to her. They kept her separated from her baby for over two hours in that room (leaving baby with midwives), asking her hundreds of questions and sat in a very uncomfortable state on a plastic chair.
Later in the day her foster mum & dad, various relatives and the baby's dad all turned up kicking off and shouting because apparently there was notice of this visit and the foster parents wanted to be present if she spoke to SS. SS were adamant that she could keep the baby for the 5 days that she would be in hospital but then the baby would be removed into care, even though her foster parents had offered a home to both her and the baby to ensure that they could stay together.

I left hospital before she did, and I often wonder if she managed to keep him - she would sit and just look at him for hours and really did her best for him. The other thing was that I spoke to her a few times (especially when she was down/crying) but some of the other new mums were downright horrible to her, making snidey judgemental comments to each other knowing that she could hear them, and complaining to the midwives if her baby cried, not that he cried any more or less than the other babies on the ward. They also made obvious remarks about her to their visitors and were like a bunch of schoolyard bullies, they were grown women and she was still a child yet she bore it all with good grace and said nothing in retaliation, just got on with looking after her little boy.

No issues on the post-natal ward, but the ante-natal ward where I spent a week before a section was shocking. There was myself and one other who were ‘long termers’ and the other two beds in the bay were inductions or early labour. I had no issues with women making noise whilst in labour, (most apologised profusely and we reassured and said no problem it wasn’t their fault) but birthing partners - loud conversations at all times of the night, there was one bloke who whinged he was tired, he was cold, he was hungry and in the end lay down in the bed and went to sleep - felt so sorry for his partner who just wanted to walk around and then there was the lady who had parner and mum who chatted loudly at all times. I took headphones and blocked most of it out, but what made me mad was the midwife on duty told them to keep it down as some of us were trying to sleep and they ignored her as soon as she disappeared. Us long termers developed a lovely camaraderie though which you didn’t get on the post-natal as much.

When I was on a mater OTT wars there was a eomannnext to me who left the television on all day. Literally the second she woke up she turned it on and didn't turn it off until she went to sleep. She wasn't even watching it half the time (doing other things like giving the baby its first bath, lost or visiotors etc). I was very close to cutting off my own ears.

@dancinfeet what a sad story