Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Phone conversations on maternity wards

206 replies

user1494667160 · 16/12/2017 07:13

It is 7am and the woman in the next hospital bay has been on the phone for the last half hour.
She is doing my head in.
It is a maternity ward so only gave birth yesterday. Absolutely shattered from babies waking up all night (completely reasonable as that is what being on a maternity ward is all about).
But being on your phone and having lengthy conversations at 7am is taking the mick.
I finally drifted off at 6am and woke up to her chatting away loudly.
She is speaking another language as well which means what she is saying to me sounds just like an extra noise!
Raaaaa

OP posts:
kaytee87 · 17/12/2017 18:24

piss filled bedpan left inside the toilet bowl.

When I had my catheter removed the day after having ds I was told to pee in a bedpan and leave it in the toilet for someone to check the quantity of pee. I did think it was pretty disgusting but that's obviously what people are told to do.

Op the women is probably in a complete post natal bubble. Of course it's annoying for you, hopefully you'll be home soon.

Draylon · 17/12/2017 18:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Searchingforagrinch · 17/12/2017 19:12

This happened to me. First night after emergency section a lady in the bed opposite decided to chat on loudspeaker in her native language. At 2am the doctor came to take my baby to NICU and told the lady to get off the phone. At 8am the midwife came to give me an update on my son and the lady was still on the phone. She also told her to get off of the phone. I’m not a breakfast eater but took myself along to the canteen to have something just for peace. 5 mins later said lady appeared beside me, sat down and then continued her phone call. I immediately stood and went back along corridor. Midwifes said “that was quick” I just said she’s on the phone again. 20 mins later I was in my own room lol xxx

Ninjamilo · 17/12/2017 19:19

I'm pregnant with my first and this thread has just reiterated exactly why I really want to avoid a hospital birth if possible....

I just couldn't cope with it, I hate hospitals at the best of times!

Katherine2626 · 17/12/2017 19:21

Worst week of my life after I had DD and was kept in hospital. No sleep whatsoever due to thoughtless selfish people, bathrooms left in a disgusting state, women catching infections as the loos were not cleaned ; terrible food - and I am not a fusspot and I know that you are not in a hotel but the stuff was inedible and cold. I think it all contributed to a really bad episode of PND which started my career as a mother in a really bad way.

0124oconn · 17/12/2017 19:28

There is a reason why people go private and not NHS

User1983 · 17/12/2017 19:28

Wow, so there I was debating whether to pay £120 for my own room with ensuite, until I came across this thread. A colleague told me it might be preferable to share a ward so I have the company of other mums but I think this thread has made me think otherwise!!!

mumof3boys33 · 17/12/2017 19:33

I had one of those who phoned every relative, told a long story about where labour started, what time, what happened next, what happened at hospital, how the baby got stuck, how she had to had a c section, how much the baby weighed, how beautiful she was etc. etc. I heard the whole conversation many, many times 😡😡

Supercala123 · 17/12/2017 19:34

Oh god, this happened to me last year. I was pregnant and admitted to hospital with hyperemesis.
The woman next to me was due to be induced in a weeks time but was on hospital bed rest in the meantime. She was working from her bed so literally on the phone non stop. I was desperately trying to sleep away how grim I felt but it was impossible. DH lost his rag in the end (he is so placid it caught me by surprise!!) and made a quiet complaint to the nurse in charge. Was awful at the time. I feel for you x

RidingMyBike · 17/12/2017 19:47

OP please please complain - you can contact PALS at the hospital and they will help. It won’t help your immediate situation but it may help women in the future. I sent in a lengthy complaint about my time in maternity (five nights, then home, then three nights in SCBU). Some of it was about the conditions on the postnatal ward, which were as described by other posters - noisy (inconsiderate noisy, you expect crying babies!), too many visitors, rules not enforced etc. I eventually had a meeting with the Senior Midwife about my complaint (this took a while DD was 15 months by this point!) and she agreed that the conditions were bad, but they’d had so much feedback about people wanting partners in all day and open visiting, and what she really needed was the evidence from complaints to get the rules enforced. So unless people start submitting actual complaints and demanding answers (and it’s an effort writing in when you’ve got a baby to care for) then things won’t change.

BunsyGirl · 17/12/2017 19:53

Maternity wards are a disgrace in this country. It makes my blood boil how badly women are cared for after giving birth. With DS1 I watched a poor woman have a nervous breakdown in front of my eyes. I wish I could have helped her but I could barely look after myself, never mind my baby. I had severe pre-eclampsia and HELLP syndrome which resulted in a highly traumatic birth during which I almost flatlined...but still I was expected to look after a tiny baby all on my own for 13 hours solid until visiting time started again, night after night. I was so weak from a hemorrhage and my blood pressure was all over the place...pure torture and every months when I see the amount of tax and national insurance taken off my salary, it makes me feel sick. I’m paying for a service that is not fit for purpose.

MrsScone · 17/12/2017 20:14

I was in nine days with my first and I was probably the noisy one 😔. My little one was six weeks early and struggled to latch at first so I had to express, every hourly to begin with. I also had to do the tube feeds and wash and sterilise everything.
That said, there were some characters...the lady opposite me was addicted to heroin, her partner was around all day every day and so I darent even nip to the loo unless I had visitors too. She would follow the other mums around, telling us how lovely our babies were but yet she left hers to scream. She also told us her horrific life story including losing several babies which is possibly why she struggled so much. On the day I was to be discharged her and I were the only ones left and she got told her baby was to be removed from her about an hour before my husband arrived. It was just awful.
On a lighter note, on my first day there two women got bags and of make up and hair straighteners out and I thought they’d been there that long they’d started getting a bit glammed up for visitors. It turns out they were going over the road to the pub for happy hour. They came back tiddly and complained about the price of half a cider compared to their locals!

bestthings · 17/12/2017 20:19

Things have definitely deteriorated, when i had my first you were kept in for 10 days. Us mums were well looked after, babies kept in nursery overnight, if you were BF they'd bring them to you, then take them away so you could go back to sleep. Every afternoon the ward would be dimmed, curtains pulled round the beds, babies in nursery, and we were told to have a little sleep. Got woke up to a tray of tea and a sandwich. It was like being in a hotel.

Wonderful memories, just sorry that's all in the past now. Sad

Givemeonereason · 17/12/2017 20:29

@bestthings it's not in the past.
That's more or less exactly my experience and my son is 1

bestthings · 17/12/2017 20:46

Well i'm pleased to hear that givemeonereason, did you get the ten days too?

crazycatgal · 17/12/2017 20:49

Hearing about maternity wards really puts me off having a baby. I've got anxiety and feel like I wouldn't be able to cope with how the wards are.

Givemeonereason · 17/12/2017 20:54

@bestthings I was in for 7 days. But it was circumstances that allowed that. DS was prem and was jaundice so on phototherapy and tube fed as he was so sleepy. But after about 4 days he was getting used to breastfeeding, he was less yellow and the last few days we were kept in simply because there was no need to rush us out. They said they would rather I left happy and confident than felt pushed out the doors.
So it wasn't exactly the same as it used to be, where all mothers were kept in, but I meant it was the same as in not being pushed out or made to feel like an inconvenience to the hospital.
It was a very quiet ward as the hospital also had a birthing unit, so my ward was specifically set up for mother's in my positions- with well albeit premature babies who needed a little bit of help.

My sister gave birth in a nearby hospital and was chucked out after a few hours. Her after care was awful compared to mine.

Givemeonereason · 17/12/2017 20:59

Oh and the best bit, in my opinion, was the help on hand. I was allowed to rest between feeds, one of the nurses would do one of his night feeds (tube) so I could get some rest. Strictly no partners allowed past 8pm on the ward, had been advised to buy headphones for the TVs after a certain time, the midwives has no qualms in asking you to keep it down after 9pm if you were on the phone, lights dimmed, endless cups of tea served. Everything started up again at 8am but we could shuffle off (quietly) for a wander if we needed to. You could use your phones in the visitors rooms down the corridor

MaggieS41 · 17/12/2017 21:28

Yep yanbu! Another language or not! I had a Mum to be have her family walk in and out all night rustling plastic bags, ringing phones, constant text messages (phones NOT on silent!) etc. Absolutely no fucking consideration.

There is no excuse. If you need to talk at least be quiet about it.

Chocness · 17/12/2017 22:00

Some of the stories on this thread are awful and are taking me back to the hell of my maternity ward 3 years ago. The constant noise, interruptions, light at night. At times I felt like I was in some kind of mental torture. I often wonder if there is a link to this and the post natal anxiety/depression I suffered afterwards. When I read about mothers giving birth in the 70’s and the support they got it sounds like a holiday in comparison. I was in the maternity ward for two weeks and it was like hell on earth from a sleep torture perspective. Needless to say I’ll be paying for a private room with my next baby.

FuckCalmRhageOn · 17/12/2017 22:10

Postnatal wards are hell.
They tried to put me in an open ward with 10 beds 2 hours after my daughter died. I was hysterical so eventually my husband called our consultant who promptly told the midwives I was to stay put until I was ready. Not placed on a postnatal ward with newborns.
I left a few hours later because the midwives were rude after getting told off and ended up rupturing my c section scar.

My last baby however arrived safe and healthy and I had the same consultant who did my section and had made everyone aware how sensitive the situation was and to take extra care. I was given my own room and a lot of support.

Itsthattimeagain · 17/12/2017 22:34

Best & Thyme, that sounds like heaven!
@Draylon ... fuck off GrinGrin

My experiences at the post natal wards have been mostly wonderful, the only thing I would say is that I do wish rules were enforced more, after the embarrassing influx of visitors first time round I swore it would not be the same the second time... yet lo and behold the in laws arrived an masse, with their (short term) boyfriends and girlfriends. I felt so embarrassed (plus still had my catheter in) and would have loved nothing more than a midwife to have saved me from that hellish situation, I'm still seething. Luckily I was the only person on the ward, but that doesn't mean to say I was happy to have them there. I do accept that it was more for me to sort out but hours after giving birth I just didn't have it in me.

OP I really hope you have managed to get some rest and can get off to a better start with your baby. Congratulations Flowers

kaytee87 · 17/12/2017 22:38

@FuckCalmRhageOn I'm so sorry for your loss Thanks I can't believe that anyone with half a brain cell would try to place a newly bereaved mother in a normal postnatal ward!

healzam · 17/12/2017 22:45

I gave birth in Australia in public hospitals. My 3 stays didn't sound like this nightmare. What are you saying about Australia and birthing?

Isadorabubble · 17/12/2017 22:47

I had a similar scenario when I had my lo but the woman was speaking English. I just asked her to not talk so loudly as I was trying to get some sleep. She apologised and stopped but couldn’t help herself from making other calls. In the end the midwives moved me to my own room for which I was very grateful having been through an emergency c-section and no sleep for over 24 hours...
I’d ask the ward staff to intervene.
I don’t think the language is the issue.

Swipe left for the next trending thread