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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

What motivated you to get out of bed in the morning?

35 replies

WellAlwaysHaveParis · 16/12/2017 00:22

Sorry, weird question, but I'm quite curious.

I've been going through a bit of a bad patch since late last year, and was just thinking recently that I'm not sure what motivates me - apart from, maybe, being a bit stubborn and competitive, and having a bit of an 'I'll show you' attitude sometimes Wink.

I just need some motivation to help me keep on applying for jobs, and could do with a bit of inspiration please :)

Thanks :)

OP posts:
Original poster
WellAlwaysHaveParis · 16/12/2017 00:31

Bump :)

OP posts:
ScreamingValenta · 16/12/2017 00:32

A boring answer, but the need to go to work. I have no choice but to get up, unless I pretend to be ill - but if I do that, and then need time off for genuine illness, I'll soon find myself on an 'absence management' pathway - plus my work will mount up while I'm away making the prospect of getting up and dealing with it all the next time even worse. I am the main breadwinner in my household, so I have absolutely no option not to work.

That's probably not very inspiring, OP - apologies! I hope you find a job you enjoy and are successful in applying - what sort of work are you looking for?

GrooovyLass · 16/12/2017 00:33

The fact that I've yet to find anyone who will pay me just for being me, so sadly I had to go to work.

Original poster
WellAlwaysHaveParis · 16/12/2017 00:36

Thanks Screaming and Grooovy.

@ScreamingValenta I'm still not entirely sure what sort of job I'd like Blush I've got another thread running about that at the moment, actually. I did Languages at university, and graduated a couple of years ago, so would be interested in using languages in my job if possible. Currently tutor and volunteer for Citizens Advice. I'd be interested in working for a charity or educational organisation, or perhaps a political organisation. Have been for a few interviews for different roles, but haven't had any luck yet.

OP posts:
JustHereForThePooStories · 16/12/2017 00:37

Usually the need to pee Grin

Honestly though, it is work. My job is stressful, frustrating, and challenging, but I love it and love the people I work with so, while I’d love to be able to hit snooze for as long as I’d like, work does give me the purpose I need to get going.

ScreamingValenta · 16/12/2017 00:40

It sounds as though you have a good skill set, OP. Have you had any feedback from the interviews you've had so far? Are you returning to work after a career break, or would this be a starting role for you?

Original poster
WellAlwaysHaveParis · 16/12/2017 00:49

Thanks Screaming (and to everyone else who has posted so far :))

@ScreamingValenta it's for an entry-level role. I just feel really frustrated as I've had helpful feedback from the interviews that I've had, but find it really hard to give good answers to competency questions in interviews. I find it hard to answer the questions fully but also to be concise at the same time. It's really getting me down. I find it really hard to move onto the next application and next job and to focus again after getting an interview for a role. Any tips on this please?

In theory, I understand how important it is just to move on and keep on applying for jobs after going for an interview, but in practice, I just probably get my hopes up too much (even though I always, always hope for the best and expect the worst) and it all goes to shit...!

And now I'll go and see family members for Christmas, and they (some of them) will say stuff like, 'oh, soon your degree certificate won't be worth more to you than toilet paper' or words to that effect, or they'll just ask me why I haven't got a job yet.

OP posts:
ScreamingValenta · 16/12/2017 01:06

Ignore your family - your degree is yours for life!

Interviewers often look for the STAR model ('situation, task, action, result') as a way of describing competencies, and it can help you to be concise if you use that as a frame for your answers.

Be brief in setting up the situation - the problem you had to solve - and what your aim was (task) - and then be more elaborate when describing your actions, as that's where your competencies can be showcased. Don't forget the result - what the outcome was and, importantly, how you measured this (how success was measured is often something candidates ignore, but that adds real substance - so rather than saying 'this improved results' say 'this improved results by 10% over 6 months, for instance).

Moving on after failure - be wary of the hasty 'rebound' application - being so keen to get another application going that you don't take time to learn from the job you didn't get, or re-tailor your application properly to a new role.

Don't succumb to magical thinking - it must be my turn now, etc. Stay grounded and view your applications as a logical process, not a matter of luck.

Original poster
WellAlwaysHaveParis · 16/12/2017 01:12

Thanks @ScreamingValenta :)

I got a bit upset (and slightly frustrated Blush) earlier this evening with a very close family member, who I'm also living with at the moment. I told them that I hadn't been successful after a job interview that I'd had a couple of days ago. They then said that I should widen my job search and they went, 'ah yes, Paris, you're cherry-picking'.

I was a bit confused about what they meant by that, as I wanted to explain (nicely) that I was only applying for jobs that I felt interested in and had the relevant skills and qualifications for. I do sort of see what they mean, but am I not (sort of) in a position to choose what I want to do and to 'cherry-pick'? To be honest, I was a bit frustrated by their choice of words. It just felt they were suggesting that any kind of work was beneath me, and I was only picking the 'best' firms and 'best' roles to apply to - which is absolutely not the case.

OP posts:
ScreamingValenta · 16/12/2017 01:27

You're right to tailor your applications to your skills and qualifications, but without knowing your full history, it's hard to comment on whether you should widen your net. Your language skills should open quite a few doors for you, but it's possible that if you're aiming for the charitable and political sectors, you will face more competition than if you were targeting the corporate world, because (with good reason) those are popular choices.

If you're in a position to wait for a role that's a good fit with your ideals, then I don't see why you shouldn't cherry pick. However, if you're becoming frustrated and want to get your career off the ground, you could widen your search to take in corporate positions, which would gain you valuable experience while you continued to look for work in a sector that's more 'you'. There are lots of opportunities to use language skills in the financial sector, for instance.

It's generally held to be easier to get a job when you're already in one, and it's certainly true that having an ongoing job gives you much more material for interviews and applications, and puts you in a stronger position when applying for roles in sought-after sectors.

ErinSophia · 16/12/2017 01:37

The fact that I had pizza left from the takeaway I got the previous night, yeah I'm a greedy pig lol.

Ofthread · 16/12/2017 01:38

Coffee and the pomodoro technique.

shakingmyhead1 · 16/12/2017 07:35

my teenager( 18), who got in at 1.48am telling me at 2 mins to 8 that she needs me to drive her to work... she needs to be there at 8.30am and it take 35 mins to drive... ( my husband was giving me a sleep in )

junebirthdaygirl · 16/12/2017 07:59

It is good to widen your net. You do not need a job for life. You need a job for now that will lead to your next job. Think outside the box and go for something completely different next time. I say this as a frustrated dm whose ds is jobseeking. I feel like screaming when he says ...l wouldnt really like to work there or at that. I want to say to him..How do you know and GET A JOB!!!
Sorry if that sounds harsh but you are far better to just get going and you can look out for those more suitable jobs then.

ButchyRestingFace · 16/12/2017 08:04

What motivated you to get out of bed in the morning?

I’ll let you know when I get round to doing it...

It does sound a bit like you’re cherry picking, tbh. Whether or not that is reasonable, no-one here can know. Sounds as if your family member doesnt think it is.

MelanieCheeks · 16/12/2017 08:06

Today - it's parkrun day.

I know job hunting takes up lots of time, but have you other activities that bring you joy?

FinallyHere · 16/12/2017 08:11

I sympathise with the feeling of over investment in a particular role once you have applied, sadly though, the best way to avoid that, is to have 'several irons in the fire' at any one time and apply for more.

To be fair, I have now had five significant roles in my life and none of them have been anything like I expected before I started there. One was much worse but led on to my 'real' career, the others were much better. The important thing was that I really had no idea about that, until I started so I am inclined towards the something, anything approach to a job. It is also much, much easier to apply for jobs when you already have one, it feels much more equal somehow, when you are interviewing from a position of being employed.

Could you set yourself the target of making one serious, well researched application every day? How much time would you need, to start a pipeline of applications where you could send one one a day? That would be great experience for working life, where we often have to work on more than one project at a time. All the very best.

SweepTheHalls · 16/12/2017 08:13

Trying to get to the post office before the queues for parcels!

ZoopDragon · 16/12/2017 08:17

SSRIs helped me a lot when I felt like this. I wake up feeling happy and motivated now instead of dreading the day ahead.

Job hunting is exhausting and can get you down. My advice is apply for every job you fit the criteria for, even if you have to relocate or the job isn't quite what you want. You need to get your foot in the door then you can change to a better job in 6 months or so. I had to move across the country for my first postgrad job, renting a grotty bedsit somewhere I really didn't want to live. But it gave me the experience I needed and after a year I got a better job and moved back. Also expect to go for lots of interviews before you get one. Treat each interview as a learning experience. Do you do any voluntary work that relates to your field? Do you interview well?

Good luck!

klf1307 · 16/12/2017 08:20

I have to get up and feed the cats. Before them work was the reason (but not very motivated about that TBH 😂) but knowing I have 3 gorgeous felines depending on me gets me up every morning

Mominatrix · 16/12/2017 08:22

Obligations.

Dog needs to be fed and walked and is completely reliant on me to do these things.

Children have things to do and places to me and are reliant on me to do these things.

House needs tidying up, presents need purchasing, tree needs purchasing and decorating and I need to go an exercise.

FreeNiki · 16/12/2017 08:26

You've been out of university for 2 years and dont have a permanent job. That speaks volumes. It does sound like cherry picking. Only looking at charity, education or political organisations. Not good at interview technique. Not good at competency questions.

You might have the right qualifications but so will countless others. The type of organisation you're looking at will also cherry pick the best.

I'd get a job that you can do and enjoy. Almost no one gets their dream.job just out of uni.

Brokenbiscuit · 16/12/2017 08:28

If you'd like to work in an education setting, how about an adviser role in a university student union? Your CAB experience might help you to get a foot in the door.

Mupflup · 16/12/2017 08:35

A very excitable dog who loves mornings! I used to struggle to get up for work however a wet nose to the face is very effective.

On a serious note though since we got her my mental health has improved considerably - no DCs so having a little creature that relies on me to get out of bed and feed her / let her out for a wee / take her for a walk has been really beneficial, it's a lovely feeling. DH says I'm a completely different more positive person. I realise not everyone likes animals / is in a position to have one but it's worked for me.

KungFuEric · 16/12/2017 08:36

Have you considered bar work, retail, entry level admin? You sound demoralised and you can become quite remote from the working world then, not having routines of a working week, having colleagues and a boss.

If you are cherry picking and it's been two years since you left education then you have to wonder how you come across/are there just better candidates for those roles.

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