MirriVan, I meant to post an apology earlier actually but got distracted and then forgot. After writing that very long post in response to yours, I started reading some more on this thread and then did a bit of a volte face, which makes me a bit of a hypocrite. Reading your last post makes me realise that I was wrong in many of my assumptions, that I've attributed other posters' comments to you and directed my annoyance at you and I apologise for that and for my chippy tone, MirriVan.
Anyway, I'll answer your latest post now.
'Derisory* was the wrong word to use about your posts, they really weren't. Others have been but as you rightly say, I made that particular point about yours and that was unfair to you.
In a later post I said that if I were a teen now, I'd do exactly what you've suggested. It would have been questioned by my mother certainly but actually, if it came down to it, I wouldn't have minded that but I just didn't think of it at the time.
I've read what you've said about 'influence' and have to admit that I'm struggling a bit to equate it to this issue but it seems to me to have a similar parallel to say, Gay Marriage. I used to feel that as long as the partners were protected, why would they need marriage? I didn't see beyond the 'practical', completely ignoring the 'Rights' of the issue. I'm a strong advocate for Gay Marriage now and in that way, I can see where influence really does make a difference.
The 'nitwit' comment is more relevant to other posters who don't post to educate or have a discussion, they just want to be goady. There are plenty of them about. You've been polite in the face of my unreasonableness and you're still engaging with me; I do appreciate that.
I actually agree with you about the name-changing options and, if I were to marry now, I wouldn't be taking my husband's name at all - I'd pick a name and he'd be free to take it if he wanted to - or not - but I wouldn't take his.
For some women though it is important to them to take their husband's name and whilst some of us may be less fixed on that, or not at all, for them, it's part and parcel and they feel the way they do. I would stick up for any woman being ridiculed for her choice, as anti-feminist as that may be. I just would. As I said to a previous poster, in future generations this whole thing may have died out and no longer be the 'norm'
When you explain about cultural-norm in your last paragraph, it really does make sense. I think that some women, like me, sleepwalked(?) into the name-change issue without really thinking of it then. I know that I was just glad to be rid of my dad's name and didn't give it another thought. I'm not uncomfortable with being challenged, not on any point really, but it rather depends who and how. There are some very able feminist posters who put their points across firmly but without trying to be inflammatory and they're the ones who will be responsible for the probable change. It's coming.
Thank you for taking the time to reply, MirriVan.