MIL wants me to buy my own Christmas present...

[GRRMIL]

AIBU to say no thanks??

She asked me what I wanted, I emailed link, size and as a bonus a discount code. I have led the proverbial horse to the water, but now she has come back and asked me to order it and she will give me the money.

I could not care less whether or not I get a present from my in laws, presents are not important to me. This feels like they are only buying me a present because they feel they have too. They don't! I didn't get a present from them for my birthday or wedding this year, a Christmas present really doesn't matter either.

My mother the voice of grace and reason suggests I ignore it, don't make a fuss and spoil Christmas but I want to respond with a thanks but no thanks. AIBU????

Gingergenius

I did know that thank you. I also know that the ONS 2016 survey of internet users in the UK found that just 30% of women over 75 had used the internet in the previous three months compared to 90% of the general (male and female) population

It's not ageism if it's a fact

And can I just say if you want to seek out and destroy casual ageism on the internet surely there are opportunities far more worth your while than my quite benign observation

Then maybe don't join into generalisation mode.

@Ilovetolurk To qualify - I think it's wise to be specific. General terms such as "older people" could mean anything from 20-100+ depending on your vantage point. I would be considered an older person by some. My comment was meant to challenge the usage of those words.

whatdoidoaboutds
I’ll be sure to take that on board, thank you

gingergenius
Nice bit of casual ageism there! @Ilovetolurk did you know that 'silver surfers' are the fastest rising users of the internet??? (By the way That's code for 'older people') hmm

Too right, I'm in my 70s and have just finished hacking and slashing my way through the mobs in a dungeon in WoW

@SilverySurfer

YANBU. What's she doing about your husband's present, is he having to buy his own too? Just don't understand why people think you are being unreasonable, either she should actually buy the present herself, get her son to buy and wrap it or not bother. You've got enough on your plate! Everyone else has presents bought for them (invariably by us) why are so many women insistent that we keep on putting ourselves at the bottom of the pile?

Get a grip, you sound like an absolute arse. Stop feeling sorry for yourself for two minutes. We're all busy yet the rest of us would be capable of ordering a pair of slippers.

Probably easier to tell you to do it yourself when you were being so specific and pedantic

It takes like 10 secs to order it and be done with? I have to say this but saying you've got 101 things to do so you don't wanna do this 3 second order is bordering on petty.

My dad has a tablet, smartphone, the works. He even finds his own flight tickets and hotel reservations cheaper than I've ever found them for him. He's very savvy with it. Sometimes too savvy.

But he will never ever pay for anything online. He will always ask me to pop over to help him. Quite simply because he hates giving his card details without knowing if it's legitimate. And trusts me to do it as he doesn't know or understand how to do it, and can't tell whether a site is legitimate or not. He's 65 and very sweet.
I've noticed this to be very common among those around that age. My old admin lady was the same. Late 50s. Great on the pc and tablet. But would never order stuff online herself as she wasn't comfortable with it. Her daughter would do it and once I did it for her off my phone.

Order and be done with it then u can forget about this huge drama and focus on the other stuff you need to get done

I also agree that many older people (senior citizen age,) are not computer/ internet savvy. It's not age-ist - it is a fact. I am constantly shocked at how some people who are only just slightly past middle age (maybe 57-58,) have not touched a computer in their life, and have never used the internet. Some even younger, like 50.

Many people who are 50-60-ish (and a bit older even,) who worked in office and admin in the late 80's and 90's and noughties etc, are internet and computer savvy. But some people of a similar age, who have never worked in an office (or in any kind of admin role,) are not. At ALL. They never got the chance to use a computer, ergo, they never used one!

My friend who is 52, is very internet savvy and computer literate (she has worked in offices since 1986,) but she will not get a smart phone. She said she doesn't need one, and she struggles with them anyway. She was knocked sideways when her son ordered a meal in a restaurant via his smartphone (while they were IN there, sitting at the table.)

So gradually, she is becoming less tech-savvy, and has no clue how to operate a smartphone OR a tablet..... just as some people never got PC and internet savvy because they were slightly older, or never did admin and office work.