MIL wants me to buy my own Christmas present...

[GRRMIL]

AIBU to say no thanks??

She asked me what I wanted, I emailed link, size and as a bonus a discount code. I have led the proverbial horse to the water, but now she has come back and asked me to order it and she will give me the money.

I could not care less whether or not I get a present from my in laws, presents are not important to me. This feels like they are only buying me a present because they feel they have too. They don't! I didn't get a present from them for my birthday or wedding this year, a Christmas present really doesn't matter either.

My mother the voice of grace and reason suggests I ignore it, don't make a fuss and spoil Christmas but I want to respond with a thanks but no thanks. AIBU????

Forward the email to your DH, (cc-ing your MiL), and say "Could you please take care of this?"

You will be getting exactly what you want, I really can't see the problem. I've ordered and paid for DH's present from MIL this year, we do this sort of thing in our family quite often. When it arrives she'll give me the money for it - job done.

I really wouldn't have a problem with it.

This will be the way of the future. SEPA bank transfer from donor to recipient.

Recipient orders online. Recipient gets exactly what they want, or keeps the money.

Thank you via Whatsapp.

I would feel a bit hurt by this I think. What is she doing for other people or is it just you?

You sound like hard work.

Why not just politely say next year (too late for this year) - 'no need for adults to exchange gifts at Christmas/birthdays'.

YABU.

I actually think YOU were rude. I hate it when people are this specific. If i ask someone what they want as a gift, I'm expecting them to be like "I could really do with some more jumpers/a good book/makeup". When someone is so specific its like all the joy of choosing a present for someone evaporates.
You've given her the brand, make and size of the exact thing you want. Umm, OK. So whats the point in her buying and wrapping it and being like "surprise!!!! I hope you like it!"

My sister gave me money to buy my Christmas present, it's better than being given one you hate. I bet there are quite a few people on here who would love their mother in law to do this

I wouldn’t mind doing this at all but I would get it delivered to her house, so she can wrap it. Only takes a few minutes if that to order something online and you are going to get something you want. I would so prefer this over a bag of tat which is not me which is what I’ll receive if I get anything at all xx

I suppose it's no different to my mil giving us all money.
In 20 plus years she has never asked if there's anything particular dh or I would like.

I feel for you GRRL! Some people are just rubbish/anxious/lazy about presents. But at least you'll get something you want this way.

I wonder where all the ageist proclaimers are at the suggestion that older people don't like using the Internet.

Sounds like she just can't be bothered.

I am with the posters who say you are being awkward. I have been asked many a time to get something and they will give me the money. Sometimes people just want to make sure you get the right one/right thing.

YABU!

She may have kept asking you but that doesn't mean she wanted you to specify store, design and price. My mum hounds me for ideas but she would be most put out if I sent her a specific link. I think it's a bit rude and presumptuous to just send a link unless you've specifically asked for one. It's ok to say something a bit like or

Yet again MILs can't win - if you give tat that's wrong, if you give money that's wrong and if you ask someone to get the exact item they have spefically asked for - that's wrong as well .

star - do you not like receiving money as a gift, surely that way you can choose exactly what you want. My parents always give me a large cheque for Christmas/birthdays - I think it's great.

Should you wrap it up for yourself too..?

I wouldn't have a problem with this.

If i didn't want anything and presents weren't important to me, then when she asked what I wanted I would've said nothing or a donation to charity or something of her choice.

Sorry, at least you're getting something you want

I wonder where all the ageist proclaimers are at the suggestion that older people don't like using the Internet.Sounds like she just can't be bothered

We don't know if she has a credit card, PayPal or what she knows about internet security.

Listen to your mum on this one! Don't make a fuss, it's not that bad and you're getting some nice slippers paid for by mil.

It's been a long week. Don't lose your shit over this tiny irritation.

I think its really rude of someone to say buy your own present and inconsiderate to do it a week before Christmas, and even worse when they are hosting!

Mumof56. But yet she might and just can't be bothered.

If she just wanted to give you money, she should have sent you money, not wasted your time asking you what you wanted then telling you to buy it yourself. She sounds a bit dim and thoughtless, tbh.

It's no different to getting a voucher really.

Don't be a mardy bum; if it's something you want just order it!

my PIL use their tablet, laptop, phone to use the internet however they will not shop online, they are so worried about their card details being stolen that they will not do it - they have heard too many scare stories and whilst they are happy browsing, using FB, researching, comparing deals they will not enter their card details