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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

We are a vegan house, meat eater friends over this evening. WIBU to cook a vegan menu?

379 replies

AddictedtoAIBU · 15/12/2017 13:49

Hi all, this is my first AIBU but I'm having a panic.
Non vegan mates over this eve, they always make every effort to accommodate us when we go there but this is their first visit to ours since we are vegan.
Shall I suck it up and cook a corpse or stick with a vegan menu? Would you be offended to eat vegan at a friends as a meat eater?
Thanks in advance if you reply. Could do with a few views...

OP posts:
DistanceCall · 15/12/2017 22:08

It's not pedantic. "Corpse" has certain connotations (like "cadaver") that "carcass" does not.

Essentially, the OP was signalling her moral superiority. Which I suspect was the entire point of her post.

Eltonjohnssyrup · 15/12/2017 22:12

YOU ARE THE CARCASS! (I can't be the only one who remembers that surely).

safariboot · 15/12/2017 22:20

Your friends shouldn't expect meat - if any of them do then they're halfwits. But get some real milk in for the teas and coffees.

Lethaldrizzle · 15/12/2017 23:01

Distance - I eat meat but I consider vegetarians to be morally superior so the tone of ops post was about right!

JoJoSM2 · 15/12/2017 23:23

DistanceCall, is that your inferiority complex speaking? 'Corpse' just expresses the emotional attitude to how vegans or vegetarians view meat.

BrizzleDrizzle · 15/12/2017 23:27

Definitely vegan.

Original poster
AddictedtoAIBU · 16/12/2017 00:00

Hi guys, I'm checking in from loo.
I cooked a vegan meal. I would love to say 'amazing vegan feast' but in honesty I think the hours deliberating didn't do me well.
I am annoyed as I can cook damn good vegan food. Everyone cleared plates but it was standard at best.
Company amazing and drinks free flowing. Have actually told them about this thread, they found it hysterical. I was scared to mention the corpse part but as it's part of the story I did. They loved it (but then they understand my humour/weird traits)
Soon be putting PJ's on and checking the latest responses.
Mumsnet is more fun than a night out 😁

OP posts:
nellieellie · 16/12/2017 01:19

You’re a vegan. Cook a vegan meal. You don’t have to be vegan to eat a vegan meal. Simple.

scaryteacher · 16/12/2017 01:21

Lonicera It is rude to ask someone what they are going to cook. Eating beforehand means I won't be hungry, and so can just pick if I don't like what is served. It also depends how well you know your hosts.

BertrandRussell · 16/12/2017 01:33

"Eating beforehand means I won't be hungry, and so can just pick if I don't like what is served."

And this isn't rude at all!! Hmm

abitoflight · 16/12/2017 01:52

A house of meat eaters here and tonight I did 2 vegan dishes - fairly regular occurrence
No one has a problem

AnonymityReqd · 16/12/2017 07:20

I'm not vegan but in an attempt to reduce food costs (DH had been made temporarily redundant) I decided to start Meat Free Monday.

I found a lovely red lentil curry recipe that turned the head of my omnivorous DH and is now a staple in our house. Our 2 year old loves it too.

JacquesHammer · 16/12/2017 08:37

Eating beforehand means I won't be hungry, and so can just pick if I don't like what is served

That's incredibly rude and wasteful

LoniceraJaponica · 16/12/2017 09:28

scaryteacher I wouldn't be the least bit offended if someone with food issues asked what I was going to cook. I would be more offended if they ate beforehand and just picked at their food because they didn't like it because it is extremely rude. Although this wouldn't happen because I would already have asked them what I shouldn't cook.

As a host I would want to please my guests.

WhatALoadOfOldBollocks · 16/12/2017 11:13

Hi guys, I'm checking in from loo
That's what happens when you eat a lot of chickpeas I find Grin

PinkSparklyPussyCat · 16/12/2017 13:54

You’d hate me then scary, I always ask what’s going to be cooked. Surely that’s better than sitting at the table and not eating anything?

I’ve also offered to take my own ready meal to be heated up rather than asking for something different. Not something I’d want to do but I wouldn’t expect someone to change their plans just for me.

If it’s appear rude (to some people) or be ill I’d much rather appear rude.

scaryteacher · 16/12/2017 17:26

I wouldn't sit and not eat anything, and I don't have food issues either, but having gone to eat for some time at a friend's house, who always did vegan food, I learned to eat beforehand. Failure to do so meant I was chained to the loo the next day, as both dh and I were affected by her cooking, and he normally has cast iron guts. Eating before meant I could get away with rice and a little bit of the vegan curry and not spend a day with a churning tummy.

It is rude imo to ask what is being cooked. I'll ask for a list of things to avoid when I'm catering, and plan round that.

I don't think taking small portions or filling up on veg/carbs is rude or wasteful. I like some leftovers after a dinner....it either feeds the freezer, or us the next day.

KylieMinoguesHotPants · 16/12/2017 17:27

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with stating a fact. Cooking a corpse is a fact.

AssassinatedBeauty · 16/12/2017 17:33

@scaryteacher that sounds like a food hygiene issue if both you and your DH had upset stomachs after eating your friends food. Do you think it was down to the fact that the food was vegan?

BertrandRussell · 16/12/2017 17:55

So vegan food makes you ill. Riiiiiiight.

Ta1kinPeace · 16/12/2017 18:12

Yeah, its the pesky lentils
they beat chicken hands down for numbers of food poisoning cases Grin

scaryteacher · 16/12/2017 18:17

Bertrand, I have half a century of intimate acquaintance with my guts. Thus, I know if I eat something that is loaded with pulses, in particular chick peas, and okra, aubergine, spinach and chilli, I am very likely to be unwell.

I cook and eat vegetarian food, and can eat some vegan, but there are certain things that my digestive system can't cope with. As I know what these are, I try to avoid them. Is that OK with you? Far more pleasant all round in terms of not making the house smell.

Assassinated I think it was down to the combination of ingredients listed above in my response to Bertrand. Just as those who don't eat meat can find it upsets them when they do, too many pulses and vegetables at once upset me. I ate quite a lot of Savoy cabbage the other week, and won't be repeating the exercise any time soon.

Blackteadrinker77 · 16/12/2017 18:20

You were worried about food poisoning so just eat the rice?

Rice is one of the most common ways to get poisoned.

Vegan food does not make you ill, the suggestion is just crazy.

FaveNumberIs2 · 16/12/2017 18:24

Firstly, I’m offended at your use of the word corpse. Which infers that I’ve just eaten chicken corpse stir fry. Thanks for that.

Second, your food choices are not based on religion, and you make a point of saying that they accommodate you at their table.

So why can’t you accommodate them at your table?

If you are that bothered, then why didn’t you get in touch with them b forehand to tell them what you’d planned on making, giving them a chance to decline?

IHaveBrilloHair · 16/12/2017 18:26

Vegan food makes people Ill?
Gosh, who knew.
Only on MN