To be angry at photos at Nativity?

[MrsAnamCara]

Just seen DC infant nativity. We were sent out letters, went to the office yo get tickets, had texts to remind people-all fine and well. No mention of needing permission to take photos/videos. Nothing mentioned before the start of the actual nativity performance either. The performance starts and several people whip their phones out and begin taking photos and videos but not of individual children, of all of the children on stage. It goes on throughout the performance and I can see in their view finder they are filming/recording video of 5+ children... A parent the right if the school Hall is stood filming the entire performance.

No one said they weren't allowed to but...neither was the guardian or parent of every single child asked either.

In my D's nursery, they asked for written permission, and if only one parent didn't give permission then no one was allowed to take photos or videos. Even if we were allowed, then it was photos and videos of your child only (zoom in) and if there were other children then you couldn't post it on social media and send to anyone else.

It really ruined the performance for me, as I don't know these people who are taking videos/photos of my child, I don't know where they will post them or send them to, I don't know who will see that photo or video. I did not give anyone permission to take his photo or record him?

I'm I being unreasonable to think the school should have asked for legal written permission for all children's parents or guardian's? And if some parents don't agree or give permission then that's too bad.

Don't matter whether population or individual (and yes, I know about stats to post-degree level, so no need for a refresher), do you indeed risk any child's life by using road or rail transport?

Because some things are necessary to have a functioning life outside walking distance.

And some things aren't. Like posting photos on social media.

In respect to your last post around why I am happy for people to see my children in a live performance vs taking and posting photos.

Are you really... genuinely... interested in the answer?

Or are you asking because you are completely entrenched in your point of view and just looking to argue back against people who disagree with you (although only the points you think you have a valid argument against, I notice?)

Because the people that go to a nativity are the ones you see at the school gate every day.

chimera she’s just trolling. Doesn’t actually give a crap about it.

Some people never learn.

Ok

So against my better judgement I am posting this but anyway

My DH works for a company involved in the use of animals for medical testing. And I refuse point blank to go any further than this

There are some people out there who feel very strongly about animal rights. ARA= animal rights activists

So when YOU have received death threats threatening to do to you and your family the things ARA think you're doing to the animals

And YOU have a flagged address with the police.

And a panic alarm installed in the house

And your husband doesn't even work on the coal face

Then YOU can tell me I'm being paranoid, overprotective, denying you the right to have pictures of your child, being precious.....

Because as long as YOUR children are OK it's fine to video the nativity because you're making those precious memories.

Ignore the fact that MY children face a very real risk if you then post that video on the internet. Because the risk to then IS real and DOES exist.

If you get it you get it.

Wellies...

Sorry you go through that, honestly (death threats, panic alarm etc)

But Please explain how a picture of MY child with YOUR child in the background would put them in danger?

Unless I posted it and said- this one is Wellies kid?

I don’t get it.

So the right for you to post photos of other children on social media outweighs the right of other parents to keep their child off social media?

YANBU. my friends ex partner tracked her down after she ran away (abusive dangerous relationship) because of photos posted on Facebook of her DD at her nativity.

Happy to explain.

There are different types of ARA out there. Some who could be considered terrorists.

We've had a taste of this and when it's directly pointed at you and your kids it's scary.

I've posted previously in this thread how a photo/video inadvertently posted could be a danger.

Plus, you might have a photo of a nativity line-up with my kids in it and show it around. For all you know Great Auntie Doris could be a closet ARA.

As there is no way of telling who is and isn't a nutter we keep the kids out of the public eye. We don't even use their surname in school.

If someone knows what an individual looks like and has a recent image they can search using that image to find similar images that could reveal identity / location, etc.

Ps I don’t want to post pics of other people’s kids on social media- I would like to take pics of my kid though! I would gladly just focus in on them but it seems that people are asking for a total ban on even taking pics!

I'm an ARA BTW.

Thank you wellies- that does clarify for me

There is that as well Spartacus.

Don't underestimate what angry people are capable of. Angry because of a job my dh does, angry because their child was adopted......

Why should George not have his nativity recorded for Grandma who couldn't attend but his sister can just because another child prefers to keep their adoption (not weird or special) to themselves?

It's not about the child's preferences: it's about the fact that in case of forced adoption (because of sexual abuse/violence/extreme neglect/attempted murder), the biological parents may still be out there looking for the child!!!

Why did you choose to send you child to school and expose them to these risks, rather than educate them at home with a private tutor?

So, the mother who is staying in a refuge hiding from her murderous ex should employ a private tutor? The adopted child who has already suffered from the lack of normal childhood socialising due to dysfunctional bio-parents should not have the chance to meet other children at school either?

Some of you people are just unbelievable.

For the record, I have had NO problem with my dc's names being out there: they have been in school photos published in the local newspaper, dd (who did youth theatre and am-dram) has had her face advertised in the lobby of the local theatre and, again, in the local press. I am absolutely fine with that. But I am NOT fine with somebody else's child being put at risk just because people have no imagination.

Ps I don’t want to post pics of other people’s kids on social media- I would like to take pics of my kid though! I would gladly just focus in on them but it seems that people are asking for a total ban on even taking pics!

Because people can’t be trusted not to post other children on Facebook!

As I said, I take the time to photograph every child in the school on set in their costume and sell them (£1.50 for a print or for £3 you can have the digital file). It’s completely fine to go on social media. —which is why the selfish bastards that post their own anyway do my head in—

Could you volunteer to do something like that?

Chimera246

I am interested - as it makes no sense to me. I manage risk professionally everyday and most discussions on risk are completely irrational. Even increased risks (even if 10,000 times the average) are typically so remote compared to everyday risks we take they should not be considered. Too many people think of a chain of events and believe the worst case is of high risk.

Please do not tell me you do not understand on any level that relatives look forward to seeing photos and videos of performance, and that no-one is in the right absolutely.

welliesontheschoolrun

Your family are not to blame because ARA decide to flaunt the law. However, you have made an active choice yourselves given everything else that has increased the risk to your children based on the fact people can act illegally. In the same way, you are not at fault if you leave your door unlocked that you are burgled - but you did inc lease the risk of it happening.

Equally well, some people may target your child because of an online photo. Other people may have increased that risk.

I do get it - but I also do get that its not unreasonable for others to take risk, especially when you were willing to do so.

I think this conversation has to end - I realise you have string views, and so do I. I believe much more in self responsibility and others more in collective responsibility. I do understand that - but we are free to travel our own paths.

That would be a good thing Titty- I’d happily pay for that kind of service- not sure I’d have the patience to take everyone’s pic myself though!

It makes me sad that a whole generation of kids could potentially go through to adulthood without any visual memories of their achievements at school, it would upset me to not be able to look back in years to come at photos and videos of my 5 yo in the school play, I feel lucky our school allows us to film and trusts us to keep it for personal use only. We all understand why some children shouldn't be included in photos on social media and there's no need for sharing online, when if you want to show family and friends a confidential email would work just as well.

It makes me sad that a whole generation of kids could potentially go through to adulthood without any visual memories of their achievements at school,

WTAF?

We didn’t have cameras in our faces as kids. Why do you think it’s a good thing for our kids to have a phone between them and their parent’s face constantly?

Blink- pardon me if I have read that wrong but have you just told me that I have placed my children at risk just because of what their father does.

And that it's OK for other people to take risks with my children's safety and security

Not a total ban. My DCs went to a school with a disproportional quantity of vulnerable DC.
The school videoed the nativity and sold cds at just above cost price, with subtle editing. Billy wore a donkey mask, billy's sister sat a end of stage and was cropped out. After show all parents got an opportunity to take a photo of their own DC with nativity backdrop.

School photos - Billy stood with other 29 kids and head teacher took photo, Billy moved out of shot and official photo was taken; all parents got a photo of class.
Billy is a fictional name.
On at least one occasion an armed policeman was stationed outside the school, while they activated the plan to move Billy's outed family across the country.

corythatwas

If you RTFT you would realise this was in response to the fact the child was no longer going to be photographed - and then it became just a preference of not being identified as someone who couldn't have their picture taken vs someone who did want their picture taken.

Where does self-responsibility come into a child taking part in a school activity? (Not an extra curricular activity, an integral part of his school day.)

That would be a good thing Titty- I’d happily pay for that kind of service- not sure I’d have the patience to take everyone’s pic myself though!

It’s just about the only bit of Xmas I enjoy. The kids are very sweet and the teachers manage it brilliantly. Takes about 6 minutes to photograph 30 kids. I can do the whole school in just over an hour.

Use a tripod and set the camera up well and there’s minimal editing, I get them printed and then take orders. It’s several hours work but raises a lot of money.