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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To feel like resigning to avoid a horrible team building event

405 replies

evilharpy · 13/12/2017 19:11

It's been announced that my team (of about 15, all of whom I like but most of whom I don't know very well at all) is being sent to a team building event at the end of February. It's three days. Residential. Outdoor physical stuff. In February. It will be wet and freezing. We will have to share rooms. I hate the outdoors, especially when it's wet and freezing. I hate physical stuff unless it's a nice gym-based class. I will have to buy suitable outdoor clothes. And most of all I hate hate hate sharing rooms even with very close friends and will be desperately uncomfortable and miserable the entire time. The only way it could possibly be worse is if it involved camping.

I won't actually resign obviously (for one thing my notice period is longer than the end of Feb) but I will probably worry about it every single day until it's over.

Has anyone been on anything similar and can either confirm that it will be miserable or convince me that it might actually be fun?

OP posts:
johnthepong · 13/12/2017 19:25

I had similar in a previous job and very vocally refused to go on the grounds that I refused to share a room.
I've left that company now (which by the way was a massive worldwide company) but I still stand by my decision.

PunkrockerGirl59 · 13/12/2017 19:26

I wouldn't resign, but I'd 100% be off sick.
Share a room overnight with a work colleague? No fucking chance.

RoseWhiteTips · 13/12/2017 19:26

Pretend you were only joking about you dreading it. Say you love that sort of stuff - just didn’t want to be too much of an eager beaver!Xmas Wink

NataliaOsipova · 13/12/2017 19:27

I am with you. I am so, so with you. When my boss announced he was looking at a team building event, I announced that I was happy to do anything that could be done in my high heels and without flashing my underwear. But if it couldn't, I wasn't doing it. He got the message.

Speak to your boss, speak to HR. I got out of a similar thing in my younger days by getting a doctor's note to say I couldn't be outside in the sun (camping in the woods, the horror - bury your own shit type thing). Male boss? "Menstrual problems" (you may even get away with being vague on this!) may well be your friend. He won't want you to go into details.....

TrojansAreSmegheads · 13/12/2017 19:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Sludgecolours · 13/12/2017 19:28

Gawd why do they still do these things? Time to circulate a petition. Judging from reactions on here, you'd have plenty of supporters.

guest2013 · 13/12/2017 19:29

It honestly sounds great! And I'm jealous! Not helpful I know.
Could you have period type issues that weekend?? No one will ask many questions about that

Originalfoogirl · 13/12/2017 19:30

anything that could be done in my high heels and without flashing my underwear. But if it couldn't, I wasn't doing it. He got the message.
What message were you hoping to send? Because I guarantee it wasn’t the message he got

NataliaOsipova · 13/12/2017 19:30

Alternatively, you've come down with a bout of flu. Or gastroenteritis. What a shame.....

Jeannie78 · 13/12/2017 19:32

I have been on a few of these. I hate sharing rooms too but have put up with it because I've been too afraid to complain. Finally, at the age of 41, and after 3 miscarriages, I was 9 weeks pregnant with the only child I did not lose, and sick as a dog with 24 hour morning sickness, and at that point I did actually say that I wasn't prepared to share. They got me my own room.

teaandtoast · 13/12/2017 19:32

I managed to get out of one these by actually having a migraine!
I was still there, unfortunately, but couldn't be expected to take part in the sports.

ToadsforJustice · 13/12/2017 19:33

These types of events are just awful and do nothing to build a team - I speak from experience. I would refuse to go. You cannot be forced. I suspect you won’t be the only one to refuse to go.

Polarbearflavour · 13/12/2017 19:33

I would be using my disibility as an excuse not to go! Do you have a bad back OP?

NataliaOsipova · 13/12/2017 19:33

What message were you hoping to send? Because I guarantee it wasn’t the message he got

😂

Luckily it was - we ended up in a conference room in a ridiculously trendy hotel in Shoreditch with drinks afterwards. All ended well!

crunchymint · 13/12/2017 19:33

I used to have to do these kind of things. It was part of our contract that we went on team residentials, so we could not refuse. You have my sympathy.

nancy75 · 13/12/2017 19:33

Tell them you have sleep apnoea and have to sleep plugged into a really noisy machine so you can’t possibly share a room as it wouldn’t be fair on the other person.
10 minutes in to the first activity hurt your back ( impossible for them to check if it’s real) spend the rest of the time watching telly in your room & propping up the barGrin

HuskyMcClusky · 13/12/2017 19:34

I’ve been on one. Except we had to share tents.

And make a raft out of tyres and cross a freezing river. Start a fucking fire in the rain. Abseil down a cliff. Shit in an outdoor long-drop toilet in the dark. All with a group of complete strangers (new company recruits).

It was every bit as bad as you’d imagine, and then some. Sorry.

nancy75 · 13/12/2017 19:36

Husky, if my job tried to send me on something like that my response would start with an F & finish with an off!

expatinscotland · 13/12/2017 19:36

Why do they force people to do stuff they hate? Personally, I don't mind room sharing or love outdoor stuff, but it's a total no-brainer that a lot of people aren't going to like this at all.

I'd fake a D&V bug.

Backingvocals · 13/12/2017 19:37

Are you actually in the SAS husky? Because that would then make sense as a team building trip. If not then oh good lord.

SkaPunkPrincess · 13/12/2017 19:37

The sharing of a room would be what would horrify me the most. I would tell my boss that I would not be sharing if he wanted me to attend.
It is not unreasonable to want the option of your own personal space to unwind and not 'at work' 24/7 even on a team building weekend

Maelstrop · 13/12/2017 19:37

Horrendous. I would loathe this. I hate having to share a room with anyone bar my DH. School trips kill me if I have to share. I've told this year's organisers that we HAVE to have our own rooms. It's bad enough giving up my half term and supervise 24/7, no way am I then sharing a fucking room!

AtlanticWaves · 13/12/2017 19:38

We had one of these. Was the Friday morning to Saturday evening. We work Mon-Fri. No extra pay for the Saturday.

I didn't go. I was already working a 60 hour week, no way was I giving up a day with my DC.

It was commented on negatively by a manager but I didn't care. I left a year later.

I'm too old to share a room with anyone who is not family and am not running around on a beach with a bunch of giggling 20 somethings when I could be with my DC.

QuestionableMouse · 13/12/2017 19:39

We did one of these. It was a disaster. Half the team came back covered in midge bites, one woman fell and broke her wrist, I ended up with the worst cold I've ever had... I still shudder when I think about it.

Mylady · 13/12/2017 19:40

Much but subtle enthusiasm and then early shower with a sprained ankle - again much regrets and envy at those who got to stay the full wicket x