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Original poster

To feel like resigning to avoid a horrible team building event

405 replies

evilharpy · 13/12/2017 19:11

It's been announced that my team (of about 15, all of whom I like but most of whom I don't know very well at all) is being sent to a team building event at the end of February. It's three days. Residential. Outdoor physical stuff. In February. It will be wet and freezing. We will have to share rooms. I hate the outdoors, especially when it's wet and freezing. I hate physical stuff unless it's a nice gym-based class. I will have to buy suitable outdoor clothes. And most of all I hate hate hate sharing rooms even with very close friends and will be desperately uncomfortable and miserable the entire time. The only way it could possibly be worse is if it involved camping.

I won't actually resign obviously (for one thing my notice period is longer than the end of Feb) but I will probably worry about it every single day until it's over.

Has anyone been on anything similar and can either confirm that it will be miserable or convince me that it might actually be fun?

OP posts:
specialsubject · 13/12/2017 21:03

No company now can possibly have the money to piss away on these useless events. Must be really badly managed, so get job hunting.

BlackAmericanoNoSugar · 13/12/2017 21:03

I actually think coming in with a bandaged ankle the day before is the perfect idea (I've scrolled up, but can't find who said it). Wrap a load of loo paper around your ankle under the bandage to make it look swollen and tape a jagged pebble onto your shoe underneath your heel so that you genuinely wince and limp even when you think nobody can see you.

MyOtherNameIsAFordFiesta · 13/12/2017 21:05

Your cousin needs to get engaged over Christmas and set the date for that weekend. And ask you to be bridesmaid.

I'm sure someone on here will be getting married near you that weekend, and let you be in a few photos, to show around in work.

HermionesRightHook · 13/12/2017 21:05

I love all this shit. With mates who want to go. Even with my work friends, friends being the operative word, for fun, where we picked our own activities and did it when it suited us for fun without dragging Moaning Michael or Debbie from accounts with her lovely hair do along with us.

But I would be the first to protest this if it was suggested as a team building exercise, with the power that actually liking all this stuff brings.

Because I KNOW it's shit for so many people - different levels of fitness, disabilities hidden or otherwise, lack of balance, carers, parents with young kids, people who's religion means they have clothing requirements like modesty or a turban or similar who then struggle to find suitable kit, people who just don't fucking want to. And that wrecks the whole point of team building.

And no one should be made to buy expensive new kit for something like this. (though if you have to, Mountain Warehouse do a full set of skiing gear for about £90 that is probably suitable).

It's discrimination or insurance claim tribunal waiting to happen.

peppykoala · 13/12/2017 21:06

Oh, that sounds hideous!

I'd definitely end up with a holiday booked which could only happen that week due to DP/friend's availability, or the surprise Christmas present event tickets. Or, to be fair, just say no.

Weedsnseeds1 · 13/12/2017 21:07

Have been on a few of these.
Had to play rounders on one and was made a team captain, along with HR manager as other team leader. She picked first and chose her side kick. I picked second and chose someone who I didn't get on well with, but I knew had played cricket for Pakistan under 21 team. We won before I even needed to bat. Shame Smile
Another was paint-balling. Separated into two teams, who joined forces and turned against the Director as soon as the whistle blew..
Another was falconry, which I genuinely enjoyed.

Ellendegeneres · 13/12/2017 21:07

We had to do a one day event of this variety- bloody loved it I did.
But- big but- it was the middle of summer and those that didn't want to participate could watch the rest of us make total twats of ourselves complete the tasks and have fun. And it wasn't overnight.
If presented with it in the future, I'd be saying sorry, physical disability (true) no way would my doctor approve (true) and if pushed, I'd have a coincidental flare up. Fuck sharing a room, I don't even like it when my ds comes into my room at night

BrassicaBabe · 13/12/2017 21:08

Another one here who thought this shit died out 15 years ago!! You have my sympathies OP.

I liked the "thanks but no thanks, personal stuff" email further up thread.

I like my job, but I just want to do my job. The fluffy shit that surrounds big companies does my frock in! I hope you escape!

whirlygirly · 13/12/2017 21:10

Good god no. I only like sharing a room with Dp. Nobody else.

Herbcake · 13/12/2017 21:10

I think a clashing event is the way to go, easier than faking illness. A wedding? Child's birthday? Husband has booked a weekend away? A relative's silver wedding anniversary? Best friend has got tickets to something?

safariboot · 13/12/2017 21:12

If you know anyone in the HR department, casually mention that isn't stuff like that going to be indirect discrimination? Since the people who cannot attend will disproportionately be older and female.

In any case, I'd suggest telling your manager that you can't do this teambuilding thing because you'll be doing X with your friends/family on those evenings.

And then start looking for a new job, because your current employer has made it obvious they want workers who don't have a personal life outside the company.

HolyShet · 13/12/2017 21:15

I don' t think they can reasonably make you:

  1. share a room
  2. incur the expense of buying kit for outward bound actvities
  3. participate in any activities that you do not feel comfortable with ( ie anything remotely dangerous or physical )
Can they?
Mermaidblue · 13/12/2017 21:22

When will idiotic managers ever realise that these team building events are quite awful?!. And in February!! Just refuse.

BishopstonFaffing · 13/12/2017 21:23

My sister had to go on a team building day. During one of the 'fun' activities the bloke she really did not get on with accidentally broke her nose. Suffice to say this did not improve her opinion of him.

MeganBacon · 13/12/2017 21:25

I think you can just say you are not sharing a room. I think if they are willing to give you your own room then you should go, grin and bear it. But I do think sharing a room is an intimacy way too far and they cannot see it is unreasonable that you object. No way would I share a room with work colleagues, ever.

MeganBacon · 13/12/2017 21:26

I think don't make up excuses, just say you are not doing the room sharing thing. End of.
Don't claim it's because you snore or any such nonsense. You can't be the only one who objects.

Mayhemmumma · 13/12/2017 21:28

Oh good god resign! What kind of hideous team are you working for?!
I absolutely couldn't and wouldn't do it. I'd have to let on like you did, id be really really ott vocal about your displeasure; you never know some other might agree with you. Be totally open about It, it's not your thing and you're not doing it. End of. I'd respect a colleague who did that not subtly bailed/called in sick at the last minute.

Or if you really can't face doing that, pay to have your own room.

whiteroseredrose · 13/12/2017 21:28

I had one of these years ago. I refused to share a room but said that I'd be happy to go otherwise so I got my own room.

I actually enjoyed it in the end!

MeganBacon · 13/12/2017 21:28

I think don't say you have a conflicting arrangement because that implies work is less important to you than personal stuff, and amazingly, some people take a dim view of that.
Just say no - way too intimate and inappropriate. They have to respect it.

OnTheRise · 13/12/2017 21:32

I don't think employers can require employees to do courses like this. Do please check this, but I'm pretty sure you can refuse to go and they can't do anything about it.

I wouldn't go. I just wouldn't.

domesticslattern · 13/12/2017 21:36

At my work, some bright spark suggested a team-building day involving learning trapeze skills. Shock
FUCK OFF
These things are all dreamed up by idiots, with not the slightest thought to diversity and inclusion and - you know- older, more introverted, less physical more sane people who might not enjoy it!

safariboot · 13/12/2017 21:37

I don't think employers can require employees to do courses like this. Do please check this, but I'm pretty sure you can refuse to go and they can't do anything about it.

They probably can't discipline or dismiss you for not attending, but they can certainly consider your non-attendance when they decline to give you a pay rise or promotion.

Elefant1 · 13/12/2017 21:38

I wish we got to do interesting things like that for team building, our last one was so boring. We just had our Christmas do and stayed over night, some of us chose to share a room to save money, as long as it's with someone you get on with ok I don't see the problem for a couple of nights.

MexicanBob · 13/12/2017 21:38

OMG! I thought these ghastly things died out years ago. I've endured two of them and they were so successful that I later quit both employers and now can't recall one person who was on the course with me. You have my sympathy.

Ishouldreallybeworkingg · 13/12/2017 21:41

There is no fucking way I would go. I like all my team members but I would NOT want to share a room or a dorm room with them and I do not want to have to spend 24 hours a day with them for 3 days, I want my evenings to myself.

Surely you can refuse to go?