To feel like resigning to avoid a horrible team building event

[evilharpy]

It's been announced that my team (of about 15, all of whom I like but most of whom I don't know very well at all) is being sent to a team building event at the end of February. It's three days. Residential. Outdoor physical stuff. In February. It will be wet and freezing. We will have to share rooms. I hate the outdoors, especially when it's wet and freezing. I hate physical stuff unless it's a nice gym-based class. I will have to buy suitable outdoor clothes. And most of all I hate hate hate sharing rooms even with very close friends and will be desperately uncomfortable and miserable the entire time. The only way it could possibly be worse is if it involved camping.

I won't actually resign obviously (for one thing my notice period is longer than the end of Feb) but I will probably worry about it every single day until it's over.

Has anyone been on anything similar and can either confirm that it will be miserable or convince me that it might actually be fun?

I bet a pound to a penny others feel the same as you, but they'r sheep. Just refuse you'll probably be a hero. My husband refused once he just said he wasn't doing it as he wasn't a youngter any more. Nothing happened, all the others nearly had heart attacks they were so unfit. It's ridiculous.

I'd refuse to do this as well, it's my idea of hell.

If it were in Spring/Summer then I would suck up my discomfort at doing outdoors stuff with colleagues, though I wouldn't be overjoyed at it. As others have said, it's very different doing this stuff for fun with family or friends, but something entirely different when it's with people you don't actively choose to go with.

As for the room sharing - no. Just NO. I didn't even share a bedroom with my ex partner for 10 years, I'm certainly not sharing with someone I barely know! I had to share with my sister on holiday a couple of years ago and ended up sleeping in a chair downstairs after the first night. I can't bear anyone who isn't my own child even breathing near me when I try to sleep let alone snoring, farting and so on.

I would be refusing quoting medical issues (psychological if necessary as 3 days would not help my mental health!), family or caring responsibilities. All 3 if I encountered resistance, and would point out you can't be forced legally or contractually and that they have a duty of care to you. Ask lots of awkward questions about loss of pay and compensation for physical and mental injury, request the insurance policy details in full and ask how they will be paying for alternative care for Great Aunt Ethel, all of your pets and your 4 children. Also will there be facilities for you to plug in your noisy CPAP breathing machine for use each night? The food will be dairy free, gluten free, kosher, low GI, won't it? You'd hate any allergic reaction to endanger you while you're there... When will you all be receiving the clothing vouchers to purchase suitable outdoor wear? Anything but be made to go on this!

Wow, OP has described my personal hell. I hate team DAYS enough as it is, and always feel exhausted by them. It's just so hard to plaster on a smile, but you can get through it. To have to share rooms, with no escape, and do outdoorsy stuff. That is terrible.

And no, not everyone has clothing suitable for outdoorsy stuff. I don't own a waterproof coat. If it's raining, I do the school run with an umbrella. Other than heels I only have trainers or leather ankle boots. None of which would be suitable. It'd be very annoying to have to spend money on stuff that wouldn't get used again.

Just say no.

Say it is discriminatory (it is.) and inconvenient.

I had to do one of these in the 90s with an international team for three days led by the army (different european country than the UK.) I was fine, but the employees from developed Asia were in hell. They didn't feed us, there were no toilets, etc. A lot of people became sick.

I am surprised at those who say they don't have the gear. I had assumed anyone earning enough money would have a waterproof coat, jeans, jumper and trainers that you could wear to this kind of thing.

I wouldn't, and it's nothing to do with them having the money. To be warm, dry and comfortable outside doing physical activities or standing around watching others requires proper kit. If people don't make a habit of being active in cold and possibly wet conditions in February they most likely won't have this kit. Jeans are the worst things to wear as they don't keep you warm and if they get wet they rub and take ages to dry which makes us cold. Trainers are no good in the wet in February and not everyone has wellies (although these tend to be cold in the winter too). Waterproof jackets cause us to get just as wet inside them as outside when active, unless we go for something gore-tex. And who, apart from outdoorsey people like me, have waterproof and breathable trousers?

I go hiking and wear jeans, waterproof coat and jumpers, although I have proper boots. You only need waterproof trousers if it is chucking it down. I know the fashion these days is for everyone to have specialist clothing, but these did not exist for most ordinary people when I started hiking.
I think the firm is wrong to do this team building thing. But if I was going I would wear t shirt, jumper, waterproof coat, cotton trousers, long johns, thermal vest and cheap comfy trainers that can be trashed. I have done plenty of outdoorsy stuff.

What a nightmare! I had to do one of these a few years ago, although it was an indoor thing. We had to do verbal and numerical reasoning, role play, team activities, interviews, presentations, etc., etc with no let-up all day. And we all had meals together so no escape. At the end of the first day, I felt like a red mist had descended on me (literally was seeing red!) and made an excuse about a dental appointment and went home! I was not popular and made redundant a few months later!

I agree this is definitely not an occasion for jeans and trainers
In order to be safe and comfortable you need proper outdoor footwear and clothing

You're not going hiking up mountains you know. The farming part of my family spend all day every day outside wearing wellies, waterproof coat and jeans.

I think you should just go. Borrow some really good outdoor kit (the key is good socks and shoes) You might have a good time. Even if you just bond through shared trauma.

I seriously DO NOT get this team building/bonding crap. You are either a good team member or you're not and spending 3 days freezing your tits off & generally being miserable isn't going to make you a good team member. Probably the opposite because of the grim resentment you will hold for your employer's company and all who sail in her.

I work with an absolutely brilliant team. We work well together because we all share the same work ethic and just get stuck in. You can't build that with stupid residential bonding crap.

Nothing cements a team more than a common enemy.

Why can't they do team building at a health spa or something nice like afternoon tea?

Seriously OP I would hate this, the actual type of activity, the having to give up my evenings too, the likelihood of having to spend my own money on a load of clothing/shoes that I'd never wear again and it would really piss me off that in the name of work, I'd have to do stuff like this. It's one thing being in an office 8 or 9 hours a day - fine but another to be away from home and controlled for 3 days and then judged if you don't find everything absolutely jolly good fun.

No to a health spa. I would refuse to be partially naked in front of colleagues.

Have lots of treatments in private with therapist and bond in bar afterwards in robe - no need to be semi naked with colleagues (I was joking anyway hence grin)

Some people would say no it's my idea of hell and 😊
Some wd just say no
And face consequences without issue / not care
Some wd go and hate it
Others would pretend to be going then call in sick
I would do second last and hate it due to anxiety but my dh wd say the first two and be really self contained and nit care if anyone judged him
I think you need to respond according to your personality type
I.e. If I did what my dh wd do without problem I wd be worrying what people thought and thus spend the whole time worrying as might as well be there !
What fits u best ?

Nothing cements a team more than a common enemy.

Crunchy that is the truest thing ever.

Sometimes organisations need a reminder that they don't own you.

Tell them no. You are not doing it. You are there to do a job, not to play at being Pavlov dogs.

Your manager may be annoyed initially, but it will soon be forgotten about, as work life moves on

Tell several people you are really looking forward to it. Pretend to sprain your ankle at the beginning of the first day. Hobble about and refuse to put weight on to bad ankle. Maybe they will send you home or at very least let you watch instead of having to do stuff in the cold.

Not interested in leaving my comfort zone or pushing myself to the limits.

Went zip lining once and nearly had a heart attack, I know what I like and what I don't thank you very much.

You are either a good team member or you're not and spending 3 days freezing your tits off & generally being miserable isn't going to make you a good team member.

Indeed. The way you build a team is just do the work and celebrate and reward successes. This artificial crap is a waste of time and resources.

I really wish people wouldn't say they nearly had a heart attack, when no such thing happened. You mean you were scared.

it might be appropriate if you wanted to build a team whose purpose was to complete some sort of outdoor expedition
of course if that were the case all those who had put themselves forward for the expedition would be people who are up for that sort of thing.

I am surprised at those who say they don't have the gear. I had assumed anyone earning enough money would have a waterproof coat, jeans, jumper and trainers that you could wear to this kind of thing

I earn considerably more than the national average. I do not own jeans (or any trousers for that matter) or trainers (never had a pair) or jumpers. I have several tailored raincoats which would be completely unsuitable for this and a number of cashmere cardigans.

I have no need of "North Face" "outdoor gear" which I think is hideous.

Jeans would be a daft thing to wear. Doing this kind of thing in fashion clothes would be the sign of a total fool.

No matter - don't see how it improves performance in an office job.