Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel like resigning to avoid a horrible team building event

405 replies

evilharpy · 13/12/2017 19:11

It's been announced that my team (of about 15, all of whom I like but most of whom I don't know very well at all) is being sent to a team building event at the end of February. It's three days. Residential. Outdoor physical stuff. In February. It will be wet and freezing. We will have to share rooms. I hate the outdoors, especially when it's wet and freezing. I hate physical stuff unless it's a nice gym-based class. I will have to buy suitable outdoor clothes. And most of all I hate hate hate sharing rooms even with very close friends and will be desperately uncomfortable and miserable the entire time. The only way it could possibly be worse is if it involved camping.

I won't actually resign obviously (for one thing my notice period is longer than the end of Feb) but I will probably worry about it every single day until it's over.

Has anyone been on anything similar and can either confirm that it will be miserable or convince me that it might actually be fun?

OP posts:
Adarajames · 14/12/2017 01:41

*wouldnt use

ohfortuna · 14/12/2017 01:51

it's just too 'marmite'... great for those who love that sort of thing, hell for those who dont

Topseyt · 14/12/2017 01:53

That would be my idea of hell, and my reply would be "Fuck that".

DH's employer does team building days sometimes, but always doing work for a local charity, and just a few hours on a weekday. So not as bad as what you describe.

AccrualIntentions · 14/12/2017 01:54

Good lord, this sounds awful. What would possess someone to think it would be something the whole team would enjoy? I'd definitely be calling in sick.

Gaudeamus · 14/12/2017 02:59

My company once wanted us to go sailing together for team building and sleep together on the boat for two nights! Two cabins between 25 people, one chemical toilet, nowhere to change, freeze-dried food....! Luckily I had no compunction in saying no and saying why.

I understand why not but I wish you could tell them why this is such a terrible idea - maybe they'd choose something compatible with everyone's dignity and safety next time.

Iwasjustabouttosaythat · 14/12/2017 03:11

But OP, you’re coming my wedding that week. I will be heartbroken if you miss it. It’s in Mexico. There’s just no way you’ll make it back.

Sorry if already said. Usually RTFT but DTs just woke up.

LakieLady · 14/12/2017 07:43

The organisation I work for NEVER has events that involve an overnight stay because it adversely affects those with caring responsibilities and as most of those are women, it is indirect discrimination.

Their guidance on team building events also prohibits activities that are physically demanding, because it discriminates against those with disabilities, dyspraxia etc, and older staff (like me!) who are more likely to have health problems.

You could raise those points and explain why it's an unsuitable activity.

We have had 2 team building days in recent years. One was a treasure trail, which involved teams of 4 (self-selected, so you got to be with your mates) driving round the countryside and a group pub lunch halfway round, followed by a splendid tea at a cafe at a steam railway at the end. The other was a picnic in the park with silly outdoor games (giant Jenga, pick-up sticks etc) for those who fancied it. Both were good fun for almost everyone and involved a lot of eating and chatting.

Days away, out in the cold, sharing rooms etc sounds like a nightmare imo. Definitely the cold bit, and the possibility of getting wet.

They need someone to point out you're not in the fucking army.

Anymajordude · 14/12/2017 07:57

I'd enjoy that. Give me a wig of your hair colour and I'll take your place OP.

WashBasketsAreUs · 14/12/2017 08:18

BorgQueenie the funny thing was, they're no more assertive now than before they went on that course! Me, on the other hand.......

LazyDailyMailJournos · 14/12/2017 08:30

I don't mind team activity type stuff, but it needs to be one day and during working hours. Out of hours and overnight stuff is unfair - it impacts on those with other commitments and caring responsibilities, as well as people like me who just don't want to give up any more of their personal time for work! I have to stay overnight for work on a regular basis anyway so I'm not spending more time away from home than I have to. And I would not share a room for love nor money. No way. If you want me to stay over then I want my own room and my own privacy - it's non-neogotiable.

Activities also need to be carefully thought through, to ensure that they are inclusive - of disabilities and physical limitations, as well as dietary and cultural requirements.

Only1scoop · 14/12/2017 08:32

I love these went on one years ago In Lake District, 'teas lots of fun.

Yabu

heron98 · 14/12/2017 09:53

Fuck. That sounds grim.

I love sport and the outdoors and a good obstacle course but in February? With colleagues? SHARING A ROOM?! No thanks.

echt · 14/12/2017 09:59

Apart from the rooms stuff which is a deal breaker for me, I fail to see how any of this shite builds teams.

It tells you fuck all about who meets deadlines, follows guidelines, pulls their weight, etc.etc.

Original poster
evilharpy · 14/12/2017 13:27

I'm going to speak to my boss when he's back tomorrow. I do genuinely have a childcare issue which will probably be my get out clause. The thought of it all just makes me feel sick. Even if room sharing wasn't in the cards.

OP posts:
Nyx1 · 14/12/2017 14:08

that seems a good idea OP

I don't think you should explain your childcare issue in detail as you shouldn't have to - I'd just say "I can't do this - childcare issues".

I'm not surprised the thought of it makes you feel sick. is it across a weekend? Is there any compensation for time etc?

I am also amazed that companies want to do it for legal reasons. Plus I bet some perfectly good teams actually fall out, maybe not on the day but later. I keep a clear demarcation line between my work life and my real life - I can't imagine having to keep up work talk or small talk for three days and I sure as hell wouldn't be doing personal chit chat.

I think the only way organisations get it in their heads that this kind of thing isn't acceptable is for people to say no. Of course if I'd had an excuse at the times I said no, I'd have used it - but ironically for those who said their companies did it partly to help assertiveness, saying "no" with no reason was very helpful for that Grin

NotCitrus · 14/12/2017 14:47

I like these kinds of things so signed up for one at work a few years back - chance to get to know people across the organisation, bit of a jolly.

Turned out that despite the centre confirming in writing that all activities would be inclusive of disabilities and being told of them, their idea of inclusion was "they can shout encouragement at people doing rock climbing/tree climbing" etc. Getting everyone to sit blindfolded and communicate by talking was good for the deaf person too...
Turned out the centre couldn't cope with us being too good at everything, ran out of plans, and decided dumping us in a forest without lunch would be a good idea (especially with a diabetic...)

This led to a bunch of us finding one worker and pretending to beat him up for his van keys, then him and another worker getting fired by the management, a large fight, and then apologies from the fired staff and being given keys to the bar for the next two nights as we just hung out and enjoyed the countryside.

Worked quite well as.a bonding activity actually. And they had to give us a full refund.

DesertIslandPenguin · 14/12/2017 15:31

I had to do one of these years ago. Ive never seen mud like it before. It was cold, wet, I was too fat for their boiler suits so ruined clothes etc etc. I flat out refused to do the hovercraft on a pond, though. Luckily it was just a one-day thing and there was no suggestion of sharing rooms!!

caoraich · 14/12/2017 17:40

I have done similar BUT it was 10-4 each day and we were put on a bus back to our offices. It was fine.

I think you're doing the right thing speaking with your boss and I would point out the childcare issues (no need to go into too much depth) and "Make a suggestion" for future events that so it doesn't discriminate against people, a local venue be chosen. They do these sort of things in cities now- my friend was recently sent on an "urban exploring" team building thing which sounded fairly painless. That way you still look like a "team player" or whatever management lingo they desire you to use

CottonSock · 14/12/2017 17:41

You get to do this in work time?

crackerjacket · 14/12/2017 17:46

This is the type of thing you fancy doing when you're 21 and have a job for the first time.

After working for 15 years I just want to get home, drink tea and watch re-runs of Seinfeld of an evening.

SuspiciouslyMinded · 14/12/2017 17:56

Why don’t you tell the organisers that you snore really loudly and / or are really flatulent at night, so for the benefit of your team they should give you a private room?

pollymere · 14/12/2017 18:08

I managed to be pregnant for my one. Bit extreme but they really had to rethink it! Book it as leave and invent some unmissable event. Don't pull flu as its really obvious as a dodge. Wedding or some anniversary or a key birthday for someone. If you make your leave for the middle day, you can then argue the other two!

user1485778793 · 14/12/2017 18:10

Go along with it, pretend your really up for it, raring to go, can't wait blah blah blah..... day before d&v.... and your gutted you can't make it

RaspberryRipple63 · 14/12/2017 18:11

Bloody hell OP you have my sympathy. The very phrase 'team building' is enough to strike terror into my heart,along with the words 'fun day' (which is usually anything but fun). Could you not fake an illness at the time to get you off the hook?

callkiki · 14/12/2017 18:14

I'd be uber keen, talk it up and then totally contagious and make them all promise to take lots of photos.

Pink Eye sounds good and say you'd still be up for going but don't know about the person sharing the room with you will feel about being exposed...plus, just touching anything, the whole team could come down with it...and ask them if anybody minds and of course you will be calling in the day before and just ask them to call you back with the teams decision....