To wonder why you had children ?

[Ashamedandblamed]

I keep thinking about children lately.

A lot of my friends have had babies this year and not in the best circumstances. I think it's put me off.

Ndn children scream and bang from 7:30-11pm which boils my blood As it is !

I keep thinking about how will I cope?Will I even be able to conceive? do I even want children ? I don't want to give up my job!

I guess I'm just panicking I don't exactly have my life together anyway.

So would I be unreasonable to not have children?

And could I ask did you always know you wanted them. Did it suddenly click for you and you wanted them.

Did you decide not to and regret it?

I got pregnant by accident, never planned on having kids. I’m a good mother I think, but not a natural. I knew as soon as I found out I was pregnant that I’d only have one child.

The reason I Got pregnant was too much tequila and no birth control.

The reason I had that baby, and my subsequent son, was because I just knew I wanted them, it was like an ache in my belly.

We always wanted children but not straight away, it was a sort of 2 year rolling thing. I was 23 when I got married, it got to the point that "shit I'm 35, if we don't do it soon it won't happen". After 5 years of trying we eventually had my daughter (now 8) by IVF. Sadly we couldn't have any more and I sort of regret it as I would have loved a second. I wouldn't be without my daughter, and I still work - 5 days a week school hours (8.30 am - 2.30 pm).

I thought I wanted children, but it's hard as an abstract concept. Have one DD who is the light of my life. Makes me shudder to think what I'd have missed out on without her. I'd love more but not sure if I've left it too late.

I never wanted children , I had a happy accident at 38 . Struggled at first , now 3 years later he is the joy of my life and i never knew love as strong as this.
would I be without him - no
would i have another - no
would my life be incomplete if i had remained childless - no

I wanted to hold a newborn in my arms and know that it was all mine. I've never been bothered about having a " proper" career even though I know I could have had one. Having children was always my priority in life. I'm now a stay at home mum of 4, had them all in my 20s and I don't regret anything at all. I can always retrain in the future, but if it doesn't work out then I have a big family, which is what's important to me.

I wanted children but couldn't conceive. Always felt inadequate because of that. And I fear old age without children. Mind you since I've been reading Mumsnet I've realised motherhood isn't all bliss and Kodak moments like on Facebook.

Go on diy on a budget on Facebook. Some of the silver shit is mental but some things are genuinely brilliant ideas.

Everyone is cheapskates so it's fab and cheap !

Right ok that's awkward I didn't mean to post that here 😂😂

As someone else said up thread, i too admire woman that decide they don't want children and stick to it - not then pressured by ' society expects' or a partner etc. I know a few women without children and they had fantastic lives - travelled the world had a nice home etc etc and never regretted it for a minute.

Another here who always knew I wanted children, since I was little. Fell pregnant accidentally at 19 which ended in a very traumatic missed miscarriage and, without sounding too melodramatic/cheesy, broke my heart for a long time. Didn’t feel properly ‘fixed’ until I had DD at 22. When she was born I felt like my whole life had been leading up to that moment.
She was also a VERY demanding, hard work baby; I’d always been vehemently pro choice, but once I had DD I became even more convinced that no one should ever have a child they don’t want. It’s bloody hard work and there are a lot of downsides (not necessarily the child per se, more the associated stuff - like people have said, the worry, the times they’re sad and you can’t change it and it breaks your heart).

I now have DD, DS and expecting DC3, so I obviously can’t have found it that bad - but I do look back and think I was incredibly naive and went into parenthood with not much consideration. I was lucky it worked out and I turned out pretty good at it (after a very steep learning curve), but I can totally see why some people don’t want children, and would never disparage that! There was a moment not long after DS was born, we were all still adjusting, hadn’t slept in weeks, both kids were playing up, it was October and cold and wet - and we found out BIL and SIL had gone on a spontaneous holiday to Tenerife. “Just think,” I said to DH, “we could be in bloody Tenerife right now!”