To take a 6 month old baby to a funeral?

[Xanadu44]

Hi there my great Auntie died the other day who was such a lovely woman. I am EBF and am about to start weaning DS, she turns 6 months the day before the funeral. DH only has 1 holiday day left at work and we're moving house so I'd prefer him to take it off for that rather than the funeral/looking after DS while I go to the funeral. He only met my great Auntie once so I think this is ok. (And I know my family will) I only realised it was weird me taking my baby to the funeral when people reacted to it like "really!?!?" "Are you sure that's appropriate?" If she kicks off I will, of course, take her out and make sure she's fed before we go in. What do you think? Should I arrange for DH to look after her and go alone or go with DS and the rest of my family?

Brilliant. Thanks everyone! You have made me think I was right! Yes of course I will take her out if she's noisy or fussy and have taken note on the advice here. Thanks everyone! I feel a lot better about it! Xx

I think it's fine as you're family and you have considered everything. I took dd to the wake for my aunt at 10 weeks and she really put a smile on people's faces (luckily could leave her with DH for the service but would have taken her otherwise)

I think it's fine, obviously you'd go outside if there was a noise, but it's the circle of life really

It’s absolutely fine, especially as you’re family of the deceased. I’m sure your great-aunty would have preferred you to be able to attend. My condolences for your loss.

It's fine. Life goes on. It's a funeral. It's fine.

We had a baby at a funeral, everyone was happy to see the little one, and it sort of stops it all going to somber.

Take yours and stop worry about what people say your doing the right thing,

As others have said, sitting at the back so you can scoot out if fine.

If I'm honest I was raging at my cousin for bringing her children to my Dad's memorial service, her daughter wasn't a baby but she kept on whining and crashing and things, and it was really disruptive. Poor kid was probably bored out of her brain, I've no idea why she thought it was OK to bring her if she didn't have reason to think she'd stay completely quiet.

Yes, fine at an older person's funeral especially as she is family. I think people like to be reminded that life goes on. I imagine your Great Aunt would have liked her to be there.

I took my 4 dc's to my dad's funeral. They were aged 7, 5, 3 and 9 months. It was fine and there were other children there too, mainly babies and toddlers.

As a PP mentioned, check which door you can get out of mid-service - I usually approach the funeral directors and check when I arrive! I've had to leave once and just stood outside. Sorry for your loss, OP.

I should have said, they were sitting in the second row right behind us, so it was particularly disruptive - if there'd been a bit of noise at the back it probably wouldn't have been so bad.

I really wouldn't.

I took my baby to my uncle's funeral. To be honest, I hadn't really considered it might be thought of as inappropriate. But in any case, it was fine and people seemed to actively like it. Circle of life and all that. My uncle was in his 80s and had a full and happy life though. Might be different in different circumstances.

I took my 6 month old daughter to the funeral of a workmate (my boss) whilst on maternity leave. My daughter was very well behaved and made no noise at all, but also there were other children there - grandchildren of the deceased, etc, who made far more noise. The point was that it was a family orientated "event" and the children were accommodated.

No I absolutely would not take a baby to a funeral. But everyone thinks differently. I saw a thread a while ago which said family were comforted by babies at funerals. But personally I don't think it's appropriate. And I think it's most arrogant and selfish to not consider the views of other mourners.

In a horrible quirk of fate after my son was born I had 3 funerals to attend, and had to take him along to each of them. He slept through the services thankfully, but I did make sure I could easily bolt for the exit if I saw he was stirring.

I apologised repeatedly throughout each one but everybody was very nice and didn't mind one bit - in fact a lot of them found it a little light relief that during the wake they could coo at the baby.

I would and have.
I have never had anything other (I have a very large extended family and lots of DC, so I seem to spend my life going to funerals with babies) positive comments about how it was nice to see a new life at such an event.

I would sit at the back and nip out if they made a fuss.

Excluding babies from such events is just another way to sideline women.

I should add that I probably wouldn’t take a baby to the funeral of a young person.

Viviennemary - I don't think it can be considered 'selfish' to take a baby, so long as the baby doesn't disturb anyone!

Would I be 'selfish' not to wear black, just because another person thought I should?

I took my babies when my grand parents died, I say at the back on the end of a pew so I could leave if they made noise.

you do need to go out if the baby starts squeaking, of course... and earlier than you think!

sat

Please do take your baby. Funerals are perforce sad, but babies and children remind everyone that death is not the only thing. I have been bereaved so many times in the last 10 years and babies and small children, and older children, are a delight and hugely appreciated at all those where they’ve been in attendance. Circle of life stuff.

I went to several funerals while I was on mat leave and took DC1 each time. Just take them out if they start fussing.

I am so sorry to hear of your Dear Aunt's passing my dear,I would take her but that is my choice of course others will say differently. When my daring Nan died we took my DD2 who was only 6 months old just because my DN absolutely loved her . My DD2 was such a good girl she didn't make a sound and everyone loved seeing her . Just because they are babies doesn't mean they aren't part of the family.