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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to ask is there life after London?

572 replies

poppingshop1 · 12/12/2017 09:50

I know there is, but is it a good one?

DH & I are true Londoners & live in a lovely part of SW London that I grew up in. We have a lovely life, mum around the corner, excellent school which DC1 attends around the other corner, lovely neighbours, etc. BUT we are starting to think we should leave. 90% of our childhood friends have moved out to either zone 5/6 or the home counties. 3 of my close friends (met through NCT) who live nearby have all decided to leave & told me this week.

We want more space (property is 1300 sq ft) which we can’t afford unless we move to other parts of London (don’t really see the point) & husband is finding the tube more & more stressful. Plus the general hustle & bustle is starting to grate.

However the idea of moving to the suburbs terrify me (don’t mean to offend), worried I will be bored/lonely & DH might struggle with the commute as he’s used to 30 mins door to door. I’d prefer to live in a 3/4 bed terrace close to amenities than a 6 bed detached in the middle of nowhere.

My 3 NCT friends are moving to other cities (Bristol, Edinburgh & Bath) & I’m starting to think that moving to another city could be a great option.

I’m lucky that I freelance so 90% of my work is wfh. DH would obviously earn less working in another city but still plenty of finance jobs around at the 70k mark and as we have at least 500k equity our cost of living would ideally be lower, I feel we might have a better quality of life. My mum is likely to move to be closer to us (she’s an immigrant, so no other family here).

Has anyone moved from London to other cities? Did you regret it? How hard did you find it settle? Where would you go?

OP posts:
Emlou07 · 12/12/2017 10:51

Uh.. what?

Of course there is! I live about 15 miles inland along the south coast and could not picture my life anywhere other than somewhere very similar! Life is slower, less polluted, less likely to be subjected to a terror attack, travel is cheaper..

Original poster
poppingshop1 · 12/12/2017 10:51

DonnyAndVladSittingInATree

I was referencing the holidays I took as a child! As an adult yes I’ve had weekend breaks in Cornwall, Edinburgh, Devon, Brighton etc & I know Surrey & Kent pretty well. However I also preferred to holiday abroad.

InspMorse can I ask the area you live in?

Oliviersmumsarmy If we moved to the suburbs he would stay on his London wage.

astoundedgoat thanks for your response.

OP posts:
StorminaBcup · 12/12/2017 10:53

If you do move definitely don’t move to Manchester. It’s really grim, the houses are tiny, the people are poor and the commute is unbearable and worst of all people put gravy on their chips. Gravy I tell you Xmas Shock

SheGotBetteDavisEyes · 12/12/2017 10:54

Even as someone who has lived in London and knows it's charms (and it's awfulness), some of the comments on this thread are making me roll my eyes so hard.

I know plenty of other people who have moved from London, and they managed to do it without dramatising it. The only bit they wax lyrical about is how bloody glad they are that they did it!

Thermowoman · 12/12/2017 10:54

Yes. I moved from London to Cork when my son was a baby as I found it was getting to be very hard work with little chance to enjoy the ‘vibrancy’ once I had a baby. Cork was lovely, we were near family and we moved to a nice big house for less than our flat in London. But after ten years we’d had enough of the weather and the recession and moved to Oz which we absolutely love, although we miss our family. I can’t imagine living in London now, but adored it when I did live there. It just depends what kind of place you want to live in really, but I find a change can be as good as a rest.

hambo · 12/12/2017 10:55

DO NOT MOVE TO Edinburgh.

Oliversmumsarmy · 12/12/2017 10:56

Oliviersmumsarmy If we moved to the suburbs he would stay on his London wage

But would it be enough to buy something bigger in the suburbs with a reasonable commute in.

thecatfromjapan · 12/12/2017 10:56

SchnitzelVonKrumm makes a very good point about job security.

I would be thinking very hard about that.

I'm not going to derail the thread but I do think the next few years are going to see a bit of reorganisation with business and finance and a lot of jobs are going to be safer in London than elsewhere.

It's something you should bear in mind.

B3LL3 · 12/12/2017 10:56

London is a hole. Leave it asap. You will be so much happier elsewhere with more space, less hustle and kinder people. I was born in SW London and had to leave for reasons of poverty. First to Devon and then to Cardiff. Absolutely love both. Bristol is a very good alternative to London if you don't want to go the whole 'Good Life' hog.

SchnitzelVonKrumm · 12/12/2017 10:56

TrinitySquirrel what were you hoping to achieve by telling someone London born and bred, who loves it, that it’s a shithole full of rotten people? Apart from making yourself look an utter twat, of course.

ephemeralfairy · 12/12/2017 10:56

I moved out of London three years ago and have regretted it ever since. I now live in a 'big vibrant city' very like those mentioned by a previous poster. I haven't been able to find a full time job in my field and have two part time jobs. On my days off I'm really stuck for what to do, I need to feed my brain by doing things like going to museums and free talks and concerts and on guided walks and there just isn't enough of that here. Most other people seem to spend their days off either shopping or doing expensive hobbies, neither of which I have much spare money for.
I also struggle because I don't drive and public transport is crap compared to London, even though it's a big city. To get to work I have to get two buses, one of which only comes twice an hour.

We have no kids though and no plans to have any. I have about the same amount of disposable income as I had in London as I earn a lot less. The difference is that there aren't nearly as many free things to do.

I also find that the city I'm in is quite insular. I'm English but not living in England (still UK though) and I feel like an outsider. I've also been aware of a lot more casual racism and homophobia than when I lived in a very multicultural part of south London.

I do realise that my situation is very different to OP but the thought of never living in London again breaks my heart.

whiskyowl · 12/12/2017 10:57

"worst of all people put gravy on their chips. Gravy I tell you"

I KNOW!!! I'm over the peaks and it's the same. WTF!!!

Also, it's very hard to get proper chips. They tend to be anaemic looking soggy things, not golden and crisp on the outside and soft and fluffy on the inside.

x2boys · 12/12/2017 10:58

pie Barms are another delicacy too Storm , chips and gravy hower is lush in our teeny tiny mancunian housaes

Original poster
poppingshop1 · 12/12/2017 10:58

Ha ha I love the fact that I’m apparently stereotyping everything outside of London as a barren wasteland but as a narrow minded, arrogant & ignorant Londoner what did you expect!

tbh real Londoners are very polite & the person who shoves you on the tube or doesn’t say thank you when you hold a door for them is more likely to be someone who’s not from London.

OP posts:
LunasSpectreSpecs · 12/12/2017 10:58

Of course there is life after London. Other places are different - but different doesn't always mean worse. I wouldn't swap where i am now for London for anything - 20 minutes to Loch Lomond, 20 minutes into the city.

You can be happy somewhere else as long as you go into it with the right attitude of "this is going to be amazing, new opportunities, new areas to explore" rather than "it's not as good as London". Hearing that from newly-arrived Londoners is exactly the way to alienate yoursleves and not make friends.

Wellfuckmeinbothears · 12/12/2017 10:59

Hi OP,

I absolutely get what you mean. DH and I moved from West Drayton to a little town in Hertfordshire and I can absolutely say we love it. There are times we miss London, being able to nip out for milk/bread/chocolate at midnight etc. But there is loads to do here in tring and it feels like more of a community. No DC (yet) but we’re very happy in the suburbs Flowers

x2boys · 12/12/2017 10:59

are vyour London chips very dry then?

curryforbreakfast · 12/12/2017 11:00

tbh real Londoners are very polite & the person who shoves you on the tube or doesn’t say thank you when you hold a door for them is more likely to be someone who’s not from London

You don't actually believe that bollocks do you? Plus its pretty offensive: oh its the forriners that are rude, not born Londoners......Hmm

WitchesHatRim · 12/12/2017 11:00

It's not funny to pretend that there aren't vibrant amazing cities that aren't London, with plenty to do and see and a great quality of life. Its insulting and its arrogant and its really fucking old.

^ completely agree and I have lived in London.

No city in the UK is better than London, not by a long chalk

Wow have you travelled to and lived in them all? Amazing.

SilverySurfer · 12/12/2017 11:01

No, I don't think so. I moved from Fulham to a largish town in Bucks when I retired. I love my current home and garden but if/when I win the lottery, I will move back to London.

WitchesHatRim · 12/12/2017 11:02

tbh real Londoners are very polite & the person who shoves you on the tube or doesn’t say thank you when you hold a door for them is more likely to be someone who’s not from London.

Yeah right. Londoners walk on water Hmm

Stop being such a GF.

MiddlingMum · 12/12/2017 11:02

I find the OP very insulting.

AssignedPuuurfectAtBirth · 12/12/2017 11:02

Move to Glasgow, take the train or drive to finance job in Edinburgh. House prices cheaper in Glasgow than Edinburgh, good shopping, restaurants, culture, friendly people, lots of parks, half an hour to the countryside.

Pisses with rain a lot but Glasgow rocks

Have friends who have done it recently and love it

ephemeralfairy · 12/12/2017 11:02

Also LOL at the person who said SW London's not vibrant Grin ever been to Brixton/Peckham mate??

OhChill · 12/12/2017 11:03

This thread is ridiculous. What a weird witch hunt against the op.