AIBU to ask is there life after London?

[poppingshop1]

I know there is, but is it a good one?

DH & I are true Londoners & live in a lovely part of SW London that I grew up in. We have a lovely life, mum around the corner, excellent school which DC1 attends around the other corner, lovely neighbours, etc. BUT we are starting to think we should leave. 90% of our childhood friends have moved out to either zone 5/6 or the home counties. 3 of my close friends (met through NCT) who live nearby have all decided to leave & told me this week.

We want more space (property is 1300 sq ft) which we can’t afford unless we move to other parts of London (don’t really see the point) & husband is finding the tube more & more stressful. Plus the general hustle & bustle is starting to grate.

However the idea of moving to the suburbs terrify me (don’t mean to offend), worried I will be bored/lonely & DH might struggle with the commute as he’s used to 30 mins door to door. I’d prefer to live in a 3/4 bed terrace close to amenities than a 6 bed detached in the middle of nowhere.

My 3 NCT friends are moving to other cities (Bristol, Edinburgh & Bath) & I’m starting to think that moving to another city could be a great option.

I’m lucky that I freelance so 90% of my work is wfh. DH would obviously earn less working in another city but still plenty of finance jobs around at the 70k mark and as we have at least 500k equity our cost of living would ideally be lower, I feel we might have a better quality of life. My mum is likely to move to be closer to us (she’s an immigrant, so no other family here).

Has anyone moved from London to other cities? Did you regret it? How hard did you find it settle? Where would you go?

What these kinds of threads always make me think is "Wow, the OP must have a pretty amazing, frenetic and culture-filled life if she is genuinely spending her days doing the kind of stuff and having the kind of lifestyle that is only available in London!"

When I lived in London, I spent the vast, vast majority of my time going to work and doing daily stuff that I could do anywhere. Some time spent doing stuff that I could do in most reasonable sized towns (shopping, cinema, restaurants etc). And almost zero amount of time doing things that could only be done in London.

That's when I thought "Wtf am I living here for?!" and moved.

It won't be the same. You cannot replicate the buzz London is a world city.

It can be better in other ways (nicer environment, easier to do things) but nowhere else in England is like London. Very subjective. Don't throw the baby out with the bath water...

No, some places are better. Buzz my arse.

OP I'm a born 'n' bred East Londoner who has lived in Durham (uni), Tokyo, Vienna and now Berlin. So I don't have much experience of other U.K. cities but I would definitely recommend making a life outside London if you can.

Bristol is lovely as are Leeds and Edinburgh. Try visiting some places for long weekends to get a feel for the place. Hang out with friends who live there and take time to consider it. It could really improve your lifestyle. As a Londoner, I would strongly recommend another big U.K. city though NOT the Home Counties or outer suburbs which would only increase your DH's commute and perhaps be too stark a change.

I much prefer living outside London but returning for a few weeks each year to indulge in everything wonderful it has to offer. My 3 year old DS always looks forward to our fun trips to London but we are able to provide a nicer life for him living in Berlin.

Leaving family and friends is tough but if your Mum would move with you then that would be wonderful.

Best of luck!

Which city/cities are you interested in? The three you list are pretty different to each other. If you don't have one in mind yet, what sort of thing do you want from a move?

Eg if you like being close to the seaside, Liverpool, Newcastle or Cardiff are going to be better bets for you than Leeds or Manchester. If you still want to be in a pretty big city, you'd want Birmingham or Manchester. Will you want to buy outright or would you consider a mortgage?

And yy to what Eolian said - I found when I lived in London, I didn't take advantage of all the amazing stuff on offer as I was just so busy with day to day stuff, and completely took it all for granted. Now I actually appreciate it all more, going up regularly to see friends for the evenings or bringing my kids up to museums/shows etc.

misssueflay Exactly! I agree it’s changed but also struggle with taking that opportunity away from my children as I loved growing up here. How do you find your area?

OK, I appreciate there are more museums, theatres, venues, etc
As I remarked last weekend whist we were in the enormous queue for a London Museum, these attractions seem very over subscribed too, which limits the enjoyment for me at times.

Nowhere is "better" than London.

But you can have a fab and easier life somewhere else. We moved out and I don't regret it but you can't say that Bristol or Edinburgh are anything like London.

Nowhere is "better" than London

Loads of places are.

I love where I live (not London) and would be very anxious about relocating, so I understand what you mean OP - its hard to think about leaving everything you know and love. My dh commutes to London from South Warwickshire - it probably takes him less time than those that live in London suburbs/Home Counties!!

Finance jobs will move from the provinces before London because they’re less specialised and more easily outsourced somewhere cheaper so I wouldn’t rely on that.

We were in a similar position and decided to move to a smaller city rather than the far suburbs. In our case we went 'home' (Dublin) and while there have been lots of challenges, smaller city living gives us all the amenities and buzz we're looking for, but in a more manageable format. Plus we were able to buy a reasonable sized house 15 minutes walk from the city centre.

We did consider other places in the UK. We very nearly moved to Edinburgh as we'd lived there before and love the city. Bristol was also a possibility for us. In the end, employment options in my industry were a lot better in Dublin, so that helped make the decision.

Where do you live OP? Post code?

We moved from London zone 1(Londoner born and bred)
To 10 miles outside of the M25 3 years ago.....

Heck I do miss London! The transport, the events and the opportunities. My mileage has gone up tenfold!

But.... we have a garden here, a lovely 4 bed house, In a nice town which suffers from being achingly dull but nice all the same.

Half of me wishes we hadn't moved but that really wasn't feasible with our now 4 yr old.
Said 4 yr old has started a lovely school, we have great neighbors.

I'm used to the bustle and London in general, I do miss it very much, but we're not so far away to visit.

If you don't have to leave, don't?!

We moved from proper London to the suburbs, then the commuter belt, then another city. The new city was by far the best of those moves - you can still live that city lifestyle but it's cheaper and just more relaxed. Nowhere has as much going on as London, but it's enough for us and worth the trade off. Plus it's more friendly here oop North (if a bit chilly).

I think the OP is taking an unnecessary battering. She's not saying London's better or worse than other cities, just that she doesn't know any different so has natural anxieties about taking the plunge. I'm 51 and always lived in London, and have toyed with the idea of living somewhere else (Bath is appealing as I have friends there) and have similar anxieties about getting out of my comfort zone.

You need to ride through the pain. Everybody feels this way about London at some point.

It does depend on what you mean by SW though. If it's 19 for e.g., you might as well be in the suburbs.

You certainly don't want to be too far away from transport options wherever you move or you will end up being a taxi service.

Well obvioulsy thats very subjective KERALA1 i live in Greater Manchester and i think Manchester Is Pretty Fab but I,m Aware that not eveyone agrees with me.

Also, how old are your children? You might be sticking to a small area while they’re little but there’s so much to do in London when they’re older (and on their own once teens).

No city in the UK is better than London, not by a long chalk. The wealth of cultural stuff on offer i incredible. BUT you can have a much better life in cities outside of the capital than you can in the capital. My mortgage is a fraction of what I used to pay in rent, which means I can work part-time, which means I can spend time doing loads of things I love, which means I'm happier. I can walk everywhere instead of commuting an hour each way. Beautiful countryside is about 10 minutes away by car. And I actually see more cultural stuff in the capital than I did when I lived there because I go down once or twice a month for a full day out, and see all the major exhibitions/concerts etc.

Surely your lifestyle is based on your job, interests, family and what you spend your money on. Not whether or not you live in London. You can still visit London if you move away, you don't get banned.

I don't live in London but DSis and family do and they don't seem to do much outside their immediate area.
Have a look at Bristol. It's a lovely vibrant city. There's lots to do with kids. It's quite compact too

Have you looked at Kingston?

No city in the UK is better than London, not by a long chalk

By what metric, and how would you know?

What do you think when you visit another town, do that first.

If you stayed in London but moved what would your budget be?

I'd probably avoid a commuter town, as the commute would be harder but you can get very easy commutes on the overground eg from SE London

Lastly, loads of people move from NCT or in the early years, loads did when our dc were little but I'm glad we didn't follow the trend