AIBU to ask is there life after London?

[poppingshop1]

I know there is, but is it a good one?

DH & I are true Londoners & live in a lovely part of SW London that I grew up in. We have a lovely life, mum around the corner, excellent school which DC1 attends around the other corner, lovely neighbours, etc. BUT we are starting to think we should leave. 90% of our childhood friends have moved out to either zone 5/6 or the home counties. 3 of my close friends (met through NCT) who live nearby have all decided to leave & told me this week.

We want more space (property is 1300 sq ft) which we can’t afford unless we move to other parts of London (don’t really see the point) & husband is finding the tube more & more stressful. Plus the general hustle & bustle is starting to grate.

However the idea of moving to the suburbs terrify me (don’t mean to offend), worried I will be bored/lonely & DH might struggle with the commute as he’s used to 30 mins door to door. I’d prefer to live in a 3/4 bed terrace close to amenities than a 6 bed detached in the middle of nowhere.

My 3 NCT friends are moving to other cities (Bristol, Edinburgh & Bath) & I’m starting to think that moving to another city could be a great option.

I’m lucky that I freelance so 90% of my work is wfh. DH would obviously earn less working in another city but still plenty of finance jobs around at the 70k mark and as we have at least 500k equity our cost of living would ideally be lower, I feel we might have a better quality of life. My mum is likely to move to be closer to us (she’s an immigrant, so no other family here).

Has anyone moved from London to other cities? Did you regret it? How hard did you find it settle? Where would you go?

So has Manchester geneva and I guess most large cities.

London has ALWAYS been a high turnover city, for hundreds if not thousands of years

It's accelerating now, which is interesting considering the docks have long gone (I am very familiar with London history.)

You do need a balance (of new blood and rooted families) to maintain good, stable but thriving, communities.

I do flinch slightly when I read or hear things that suggest two generations is an old London family or that new arrivals (3 months) are "Londoners" because it suggests we're tipping too much one way and roots are getting very shallow.

It's the opposite problem to hidebound provincial towns where you're a "foreigner" if your family only moved over from the neighbouring town three generations back.

The balance does always matter (economic too).

No, I don't think it was exceptional. Families (and branches of families) from industrial revolution arrivals, pogrom flee-ers, Irish families, post colonial migrants all used to be in evidence as well as more recent arrivees. If "two or even three" generations is now comment worthy, that reflects the shift that's taken place. But I suppose globalisation etc, the world is shrinking, London is getting expensive; Acceleration is probably inevitable.

I'm getting preoccupied with it though because I'm the last member of my (largish) family still here and only two friends from before uni are still in London. It's quite dramatic, but obviously only noticeable if you've been here long enough to witness it.

(More uni friends and post uni friends are still here, I should say, it's just my childhood cast of characters that seems to have either died or decamped.)

I lived in Cardiff for ten years and if I'd called myself Welsh or Cardiffian I'd have been laughed out of town.

Yes, there's a distinct difference, isn't there? It's interesting. When I win the lottery I'll sign up for a multidisciplinary PhD

Zone 5 is fine (where I live) but it sounds like you don't want to be that far out (by the way trains from here are the same time it takes your husband currently to get to work if you live near the tube station itself). I moved to London from the North. My great aunt moved to London for work in about 1900. People come and go all the time. London and other English cities have always been pretty welcoming of all types of people. We all tend to get along pretty well in the UK compared to a lot of other countries.

I'm a born and bred londoner but have lived in Staffordshire (university), Coventry (gap year voluntary work) and Bristol (postgraduate course). I loved Bristol so much that I moved back 9 months after being back in London. I've been back in Bristol for 15 years and can't see myself moving. It’s a great vibrant city and I've never really missed London since being here. It’s also very good for employment. I work in finance and don't think your husband would have any issues finding a good job here.

I would say that school admissions for Bristol can be tricky, as admission distances/catchment areas can be quite small, so you would need to consider proximity of schools to where you would want to live.

Would definitely visit Bristol and other cities to help you with your decision.

Good luck!

Without a doubt I would far rather live almost-centrally in a city such as Leeds, York, Manchester, Bath or Bristol than on the grim outskirts of London or the Home Counties. Most of the people I know that live in London/ Home Counties only do so because of work. Most would move away in a heartbeat.

I lived in Cardiff for ten years and if I'd called myself Welsh or Cardiffian I'd have been laughed out of town.

I often meet people who describe themselves as Londoners so the conversation naturally turns to “where did you grow up” and “what schools did you go to?”, etc & it turns out they actually moved here 6 months ago which makes me chuckle. I met DH at uni (in London) & we are pretty sure our paths must of crossed in our childhood/adolescence.

jennymac31

Our friends are moving to Bristol this week so we will defo be hitting them up for a stay.

Op I have asked this type of question before but it never ends well. You just get lots of people telling you you're insulting them by querying whether it's worth upping sticks for more space, whilst telling you London is shit and there are other cities where you'd get a better house. No one disputes that other people's lives in other cities could be great, but it's hard to know whether uprooting your family and your life to start afresh in another city will be worth it. Imo either it will be very different, and there are bound to be things you'll miss (and maybe compensatory benefits) or much the same, but if it's much the same, why move? An extra bedroom and bigger garden doesn't equal quality of life on its own.

@Lndnmummy - have you spent much time in Bristol?

I'm non-white and have never considered Bristol as 'non diverse'. I have 2 kids now and don't have any concerns about raising them here. I would say that Bristol is warm, welcoming and inclusive. I have also spent time in Bath and would say that, from personal experience, it's not as diverse as Bristol.

Lndnmummy yes Bristol is v diverse, culturally. As an example, in Ds's preschool key group of 9 kids, 5 of them have english as their second language. His primary (2 class intake) has 19 different languages spoken there, which is a big draw for me. Bath less diverse, I believe.

although close geographically, Bath has a very different feel to Bristol.

Erm, there are some incredible cities outside of London where we sit in fabulous cocktail bars pitying people who live in London!

Perhaps spend a few weekends away seeing how great the rest of the country is and wonder why you have stayed in London so long.

I look at things slightly differently. When people say the north is more friendly. I read interfering.
I have lived all over England and found the one place where I met people who were genuinely friendly was London.
I lived 12 years in one place and didn't make a single friend. Equally my hometown I left and have never gone back.
Sometimes a town might have incredible culture and a huge number of restaurants and coffee shops but if you don't fit in and have no one to go with that doesn't want to pry into every part of your life you are stuck in doors.

Can’t get a decent takeaway (except fish and chips), or a late night drink in a naice (or any) bar where I am (home counties). Rubbish!

If you move you need to move somewhere there are other incomers in a similar boat to you so open to making friends. You do not want to move to one of those "you're not from round here" "I have all the friends I need" type places...

You do not want to move to one of those "you're not from round here" "I have all the friends I need" type places...

You don't want to move to Gloucester then. Moved here from London, worse decision I ever made. Culturally diverse but not particularly welcoming, and I've given it a few years. Would move back to London tomorrow if I could but could never afford it. Agree with Olivers comment.

The differences are more between the countryside and small villages v big cities. I am from Newcastle and I live in London and bigger cities are similar - lots of different people etc etc. Ditto my sibling who moved to work in Leeds from London. You get much the same in Leeds, Newcastle, Manchester, London, central Bristol, Birmingham etc etc. (and in the suburbs of those places - I live in suburbs of London). The big difference tends to be between cities and the countryside. Neither is wrong or right - they are just different.

Nor do I think there is any kind of competition between whether London is better than say Birmingham. They are two cities and one will suit one family and the other another.