AIBU to ask is there life after London?

[poppingshop1]

I know there is, but is it a good one?

DH & I are true Londoners & live in a lovely part of SW London that I grew up in. We have a lovely life, mum around the corner, excellent school which DC1 attends around the other corner, lovely neighbours, etc. BUT we are starting to think we should leave. 90% of our childhood friends have moved out to either zone 5/6 or the home counties. 3 of my close friends (met through NCT) who live nearby have all decided to leave & told me this week.

We want more space (property is 1300 sq ft) which we can’t afford unless we move to other parts of London (don’t really see the point) & husband is finding the tube more & more stressful. Plus the general hustle & bustle is starting to grate.

However the idea of moving to the suburbs terrify me (don’t mean to offend), worried I will be bored/lonely & DH might struggle with the commute as he’s used to 30 mins door to door. I’d prefer to live in a 3/4 bed terrace close to amenities than a 6 bed detached in the middle of nowhere.

My 3 NCT friends are moving to other cities (Bristol, Edinburgh & Bath) & I’m starting to think that moving to another city could be a great option.

I’m lucky that I freelance so 90% of my work is wfh. DH would obviously earn less working in another city but still plenty of finance jobs around at the 70k mark and as we have at least 500k equity our cost of living would ideally be lower, I feel we might have a better quality of life. My mum is likely to move to be closer to us (she’s an immigrant, so no other family here).

Has anyone moved from London to other cities? Did you regret it? How hard did you find it settle? Where would you go?

Don't do it. I was just saying to a friend today that moving out of London 8 years ago is still something I regret every day. But we can't afford to move back now. I have lived in many other places, including cities such as Manchester, Liverpool, Belfast, Hong Kong, and Lille,as well as smaller towns and villages in West Sussex, Cheshire, Surrey, Kent, Hertfordshire, and Cambridgeshire and having moved location more than 20 times nowhere compares to London.
I miss my friends, the job market, the way that every area has its own feel and yet are close together, range of independent cinema and theatre, the bigger theatre shows at The National, the river, the exhibitions, the shops...

Despite what some posters here will tell you, nowhere has that amount of choice. They just don't. Compare the number of theatres and indy cinemas in Manchester with London, it's not comparable.

To the pp who asked about whether Londoners make use of the museums, theatre, exhibitiins, events, etc. Yes many do. We did every week. Your friends who moved to Watford didn't move to London, they moved to Watford, which is a suburb like the ones OP is talking about.

I would post a smart-arse reply to those who appear to believe life ends at the M25, that 'zone 6' is a post apocalyptic wasteland and that London isn't just the centre of the universe, it is the entirety of it, but I can't because we don't yet have the internet here in rural Leicestershire, or electricity.

It's very different living in London vs the rest of the country. Suggest renting out your home in London and getting a rental in another part of the country. Kind of like dipping your toe in the water to see whether you and your family like it, and give you a chance to get to know where to buy a house, which are really the good schools, etc. Good luck.

To quote from Bridget Jones; ‘ does nothing work outside of London’

We're moving out tomorrow, after 22 years in Chelsea! Moving somewhere further north, with fewer people and more green spaces. I will miss all my friends and the buzz terribly, but I think it will be a better life for the baby and the bump.

There are not just one but many brilliant lives outside London. The question is, are they for you? You need to weigh up what you like and what you dislike to see what you'd miss and what would improve, I think.

Rebeccaslicker Can I ask where you are heading? What made you choose there?

I lived in zone 4/5 Till I was 23! The commute was only 25/30 mins to Liverpool Street or Tower Hill, hardly end of the world

And yes there's life after it. I live in Kent and it's better. People are nicer and I can go places without being pissed off how busy everywhere is

We are going to Cheshire - I can do my job for little salary difference in Manchester; there are some really pretty towns and villages there; you have the Peak District 20 mins one way and Manchester centre 20 mins the other. It just feels cleaner and safer - I grew up in the country so I wanted that for my kids rather than London. (Had I grown up in London I'd feel the opposite I'm sure!). And it's only 2 hours to Euston from there. My brother always tells me to ssssh about how nice it is - he says we don't want a load of Londoners moving up there so to carry on telling them all it's nowt but flat caps and rain and whippets

Plus our property here will buy so much more up north! We are near a lovely park here, but it's just not as easy as having a decent garden when the kids are older - this way we can have both.

Why not do a bit of a recce in different cities and see where you like the look of? You could try some commuter towns, like St Albans, and some larger further away places like Manchester and Leeds?

Never knew that people lived in “zones”. Sad.

Speakout I think we can safely take your views on race to be a little skewed after your bizarre assertion about witnessing positive race discrimination and your imaginary BAME friends "using" their heritage "to great effect".

OP life outside London is different. London is an entity in itself which acts and feels like it's not really part of the UK because it's a global capital. Other cities are more geographically grounded.

We are moving from zone 2/3 to zone 5, which is near where I grew up. We are currently in a 2 bed flat and are buying a house. I'm sad to leave our area and we won't be on the tube anymore so will have to time trains etc. For us, we both have friends and family scattered over Greater London and there is no draw to another city. I'm hoping like PP that the commute will be more pleasant (2nd stop so hopefully seats) if longer.

Not reading entire thread as the mere mention of London gets some people twitchy and very wound up. However, I would find a way to stay in London as it would be easier for your children to find jobs especially post Brexit.

We moved from zone 2 to Herts. Worst mistake ever. You have to drive everywhere and far less to do. Despite my best efforts we didnt make any real friends in 4 years. We also experienced low level racism and I didn't want my children growing up in that kind of environment. I found wet and cold days the worst, there was nothing to do. And we have a lot of those days. In London we take the kids to museums if it's raining. There are so many we're spoilt.

London offers a wide variety of activities for every age most days and so many are free too. The garden and bigger house wasn't worth it. We are happier in a smaller flat. We were lucky to be able to move back as we didn't sell our place in London. If you do still want to move then try renting so you have the chance to change your mind. Good luck with whatever you decide.

Left London for Cardiff 2 years ago haven't looked back.
Our London home was worth 910k (mortgage free as we'd inherited it 20yrs prior)
Sold it, bought a lovely 3 bed with a garden in Cardiff for 250k. We've now moved abroad but we rent out the house in Cardiff (not a huge money maker it's below market rate to a friend) The leftover funds are now bulking up our retirement fund, with some for rainy days and some saved for dc.

I really don't miss London, with one thing being the London centric attitude. It starts to feel like anything outside of London is a completely different country, and anything you can't get the tube to is a different world....
truth is nowadays I wouldn't go to London for a day trip let alone live there. Personal preference though.

By the way, I will be returning to Cardiff; still love it, but unfortunately it was a transfer abroad that we couldn't refuse without putting dh's job at risk, so it was something we have to do as a family but will be returning in April 2018 or December 2018 at latest.

genever as I pointed out before my son goes to a small catholic primary school in Bolton at least half his class are not white British and indeed through the rest of the school , there are families from Africa India , Poland and quite a few Chinese families , other people have pointed out that a lot of school in their towns( not just cities) are also multicultural) but you appear to be ignoring those comments funny that where I live its very diverse and this is just in Bolton , London is not the only multi cultural place oh and if I wanted a pint of milk at midnight Sainsbury's is round the corner its open 24 hours.

Bloody hell Vegas, £900k in the bank would ease any move anywhere!

I would say not Home Counties - houses expensive, travel into London slow/ tedious. Getting out of capital at holiday time a nightmare.

Edinburgh, Glasgow orsome other major city- as long as you can afforg nice house near centre and good schools.

If you have jobs where there are lots of opportunities outside London I agree that it’s better to avoid home counties commuting. The main “pro” of home counties IMO is access to London jobs.

Many women I know quit work or have poorly paid local jobs because 2 parents commuting was so hard. The men still commute and have the economic power.

I won’t do that and DH pulls his weight in domestic and family life, but it’s exhausting. my main fear that moving out and career would affect my health/wellbeing and damage my career and this has been borne out. Then again childcare and commuting within London were no picnic!

Life in London is fantastic, but only if you can afford it without too much stress.
We recently visited friends in Liverpool and they are rightly very proud of the city centre which has been revamped fairly recently and is now a shopping complex called "Liverpool One". Yes, it's great, but basically its an outdoor version of the Westfield Shopping Centre in terms of scale and the shops / restaurants available.

If you want to go shopping in London, you can go to either of the Westfields (if you have the energy), otherwise, High St Ken, Knightsbridge, Portobello, West End, Kings Rd - and that's just a fraction in Central / West London. Even somewhere like Wimbledon or Angel Islington have more on offer than most cities! We went to an art gallery in Mayfair the other day and discovered amazing cafes and shops down roads we never realised were there - and I've been here 20 years.

There is nowhere like London and I say that as a foreigner! I love the way it still feels like a cluster of villages, each with its own character and atmosphere. It's a world city and you just don't get the geographical, parochial mentality that exists elsewhere. You really can't compare the buzz and the mix of people. You feel as if you have the world at your fingertips. Where we live it's mainly Italians and Spanish. Walk a few roads down and it's Middle Eastern. Few of us were born here, but we've made it our home. For a Londoner, it's probably easier to adapt to life in another capital city, like Paris or New York, than somewhere else in Britain.

genever so you would not live in a place that did not have an "ethnic mix"- you would hate it.

Can you not realise that societies exist where there is little ethnic mixing and this is not a bad thing.
I lived in remote parts of Asia for a time, I was often the only Caucasian for hundreds of miles
There are many "unmixed" cultures in the world, it's a shame you write them all off.

Having worked in London I would think almost anywhere would be better than living in that high pressured environment. Try somewhere like Birmingham. A great range of finance jobs. A great choice of environments suitable to do an easy commute from city centre to hamlets. Some areas have great schooling where most schools are outstanding. If you want to go back to London it’s just over an hour in the train. With £500k you could live very well in somewhere like Solihull (has previously been voted best place to live) mortgage free with a 20 min journey into city centre and direct services to London. Surrounded by countryside.

difficult one, lots of miserable people on here, arent there, luckily we all have different tastes, my dream, winning the lottery would be the absolute middle of no-where, acres of land, no noisy,nosy,neighbours, problems parking, no I dont hate people before anyone says it. You say you love where you live, but need more space, its cheaper to extend/expand than to move.But you say the hustle and bustle are starting to grate, you DH finds the tube stressfull, well, a longer commute would probably be more stressful.Unfortunately, nothing is perfect, you have to balance out, sounds like you have pretty much what you need there.

Definitely! A better life.