AIBU to ask is there life after London?

[poppingshop1]

I know there is, but is it a good one?

DH & I are true Londoners & live in a lovely part of SW London that I grew up in. We have a lovely life, mum around the corner, excellent school which DC1 attends around the other corner, lovely neighbours, etc. BUT we are starting to think we should leave. 90% of our childhood friends have moved out to either zone 5/6 or the home counties. 3 of my close friends (met through NCT) who live nearby have all decided to leave & told me this week.

We want more space (property is 1300 sq ft) which we can’t afford unless we move to other parts of London (don’t really see the point) & husband is finding the tube more & more stressful. Plus the general hustle & bustle is starting to grate.

However the idea of moving to the suburbs terrify me (don’t mean to offend), worried I will be bored/lonely & DH might struggle with the commute as he’s used to 30 mins door to door. I’d prefer to live in a 3/4 bed terrace close to amenities than a 6 bed detached in the middle of nowhere.

My 3 NCT friends are moving to other cities (Bristol, Edinburgh & Bath) & I’m starting to think that moving to another city could be a great option.

I’m lucky that I freelance so 90% of my work is wfh. DH would obviously earn less working in another city but still plenty of finance jobs around at the 70k mark and as we have at least 500k equity our cost of living would ideally be lower, I feel we might have a better quality of life. My mum is likely to move to be closer to us (she’s an immigrant, so no other family here).

Has anyone moved from London to other cities? Did you regret it? How hard did you find it settle? Where would you go?

I think that's the thing.

It's a balance.

I live 20 minutes from the heart of Edinburgh on the edge of a peaceful town surrounded by ancient woodland -living in a 5 bedroomed house with a garden in a good area which cost us £210K 3 years ago.
I can be in either rugged coastline, deep countryside or at an international airport in 20 minutes.
My OH has a 10 minute commute. Jobs are plentiful ( Edinburgh has a lower unemployment rate than London, and jobs in IT, finance, science and creative arts are plentiful.

The air around me is clean. Crime rate is low, I hear no traffic.

I think my balance is pretty good.

Not reading entire thread as the mere mention of London gets some people twitchy and very wound up

That is exactly how the Londonistas put it: "god, all I said was that London is the centre of the universe and that anywhere else is a massive step down that I don't think I could live with. You're so, like, sensitive about London!"

Its no accident the super rich have both London apartments and a country house! Hugely differing advantages and disadvantages to both you just have to decide what matters to your family, and be realistic about how you like to spend your time. No point moving to the country if you aren't outdoorsy types, if you heavily into culture and museum visiting nowhere outside London comes close, whatever people may say about regional stuff (and I live in the regions now we still go back to London for the museums).

It's a world city and you just don't get the geographical, parochial mentality that exists elsewhere.

Actually yes you do.

I'm also sure you don't mean to be quite so patronising.

Lol at no parochial attitude in London.

comedy gold, you lot.

I have not read the whole thread. I live in zone 1 now and first came to London as a first jobber in the early 2000s. I love theatre/ culture/ galleries etc and go out at least two evenings a week and usually at the weekend too. I don't have children.

I'm originally from the frozen north (Edinburgh) and moved back there about 10 years ago. I had an awesome flat in the city centre. My family are there and I already had a friendship circle but I wasn't happy. There just wasn't that much to do. I used to read the Sunday papers and lust after exhibition and theatre reviews.

I experimented for while with staying and working in Edinburgh and coming down to London regularly to do stuff (i'm lucky, I have friends with a spare room who used to put me up all the time). it just wasn't enough.

So I sucked it up and got a job here because of my industry I don't earn much more here than I did in Edinburgh so my disposable income dropped eg. my housing costs tripled for a flat 60% of the size. As a result I no longer have a car and I don't fly business class anymore but I'm much happier and I can afford to do the stuff I want and travel. Horses for courses.

And law of unintended consequences I'm insulated from family shit by being so far away!

I would suggest giving it a go before selling up in London. If I had done that when I left I would have been in a much better position now but I really didn't envisage that I wouldn't settle back into Edinburgh.

I must say, of all the things London actually does have that genuinely aren't available elsewhere, it's a bit odd to see 24 hour supermarkets and Indian specialist shops mentioned. I mean, those are all over now aren't they? 15 or 20 years ago that might have been impressive!

Also, of course you get a parochial mentality in London. Some Londoners are parochial as fuck.

And quite sure there are a few Indian shops in birmingham lol. We might even have a few curry houses. There are 324 hour supermarkets in our town!

Don't move! We moved from zone 1 when DS1 was three to get more space and I really regret it. It's nice here and a gentler pace of life, but I so miss the buzz and stimulation of London. But we kept our flat in London and rent it out, and are planning to move back at some point. So if you do move out, don't burn your bridges – keep some kind of toehold in London so you can move back if you want to (which you probably will).

I left London after having first baby and regretted it immediately. I was that dumb one that bought before renting somewhere.
I would suggest really thinking about what you want that you don't have versus what you would miss, then visit a few places.
If London is your home I can see that a move would be hard - as it would be for anyone moving from their loved home town.
I didn't realise how much I would miss the things on my doorstep and actually more so with kids. Where we are now I can actually still get into London easily on the train or drive to SE or SW London for museums and parks but it's the lack of things on the doorstep that sends me a bit loopy. For example where we were in London we had 3 parks, woods, cycle park, three distinct bits of London to mooch round with god knows how many coffee shops and kids activities on, a few libraries with free kids things on. Where I am now I have one park that I can walk to otherwise it's in the car and a choice of one garden centre or national trust.
What I'm saying is think about what your lifestyle is like. In some ways it's easier for you as you're not tied to working in London. Our issue is that we are still tied to London for work so have to live close by, but have ended up in (what I think is) dull suburbs/countryside. That said, I am thinking of the positives we have now and which I like - the trade off - which is quiet, not crowded, dirty, large garden not overlooked, access to footpaths and trails, easy to get into London.
Long ramble but essentially think about what compromises you are willing to make, and what your lifestyle is like to find somewhere that might suit you. If you can't find anywhere then stay put!

As well as the shops mentioned above, I have Indian, Japanese, Korean, Vietnamese, etc. grocery shops within easy walking distance and selling weird and wonderful fruit, veg and groceries that you can't get even in the biggest supermarkets

Yep, once again, this is also the same outside London...

Keep telling us what there is in London (I know, I've lived there too...), and people will keep on telling you that other parts of the country has it as well.

Culture, diversity, shops open 24 hours, amazing restaurants, fabulous shops, you name it, millions of people can tell you that London doesn't 'own' any of it.

Culture, diversity, shops open 24 hours, amazing restaurants, fabulous shops, you name it, millions of people can tell you that London doesn't 'own' any of it.

This, totally. Nothing wrong with loving London, lots wrong with assuming everywhere that is not London is lacking the above.

In terms of fashion & interiors (my background) I do actually believe very few cities in the world can compare to the shopping in London be it designer, high street, vintage, charity etc.

Yep i agree I have No doubt London is an amazing city it is a capital city after all but all these assumptions that everywhere else has no diversity , 24 hr shops shops from different cultures even pavements is pretty ridiculous 0

And as for Indian restaurants I believe there are one or two in Rushholme in Manchester ......

Pollution was a major factor for me in deciding to move, I must admit. I love London, which is why I stayed so long, but I loathe pushing my baby down kensington high street and worrying about what she's breathing in.

No Indian restaurants anywhere in Scotland.

I think we used to have a kebab shop in Falkirk once I heard.

Never regretted moving out of London. We live in Oxford now and there's loads going on - lots of plays, films, music, lectures, interesting people doing interesting stuff. There's also space! Loads of parks, lots of green spaces! Port Meadow, Christchurch Meadow right by the city. We bought a house and now have a garden, which makes such a difference with small children I can't tell you. (We have a park at the end of the road too, but just being able to open the back door and let DS potter around the back garden while I make breakfast massively improved my quality of life.)
Also loads of families around where we live, so lots of stuff for toddlers. And we're only an hour away from London, so can still go and see plays shows friends etc.
We lived in a really busy part of Zone One, and my heart just used to sink whenever I came back. That doesn't happen any more.
Diversity-wise, Oxford is a very white city generally - although there are people here from all over the world, thanks to the university. We live off the Cowley Road though, and this part of Oxford is much, much more diverse - the Cowley Road has restaurants from all over the globe - Syria, India, Jamaica, Italy, Nepal, Greece, Lebanon etc. It's brilliant.

Apologies to anyone offended by the word "parochial". What I meant to say is that in most of Central London, the people who live here were generally not born here. There isn't the fierceness of identity that there is in other parts of the country e.g. "I'm a scouser born and bred" - that kind of thing. Areas that used to have a strong identity in London, e.g. Hackney, Bermondsey or Brixton have changed as they have become "trendified." People come and go in London to a much greater extent, particularly these days. I can't think of a single parent from my DC school who was born around here.

And again g1itterati go to any big town or city and you will find the same there my sister is a teacher in a small town in the northwest she has worked there for over 20 years for a long time the school she worked in had about 95_98% of their pupils that had a Indian /Pakistani heritage it is now far more diverse as people come and go from all over the world these things are not Unique to London.

Moved out of London. Hated it from day 1. I didn't go out for 12 years with anybody from around that area. I spent most of my free time commuting into London to do the weekly shop or just trying to be around an area that I felt comfortable in.
When dp agreed to move I had the house sold and we moved within 3 weeks. It was the best feeling in the world when we started driving south knowing I was never returning

Yes, I hadn’t really thought about how bad London pollution is until we moved out and I really noticed it. The difference in air quality hits you at each end of the commute.

That said some of the schools in the home counties are really close to major A roads and motorways!

I noticed it when I started looking for a nursery a couple of mornings a week (DP is a SAHD but he needs a break ) and there were all these stories about the pollution levels in the nurseries. It was a big factor in our deciding to leave. We then looked at living further out and me commuting in, but I honestly don't think that's great for family life - if I'm leaving the house at 7 and getting home after 9pm, what's the point?

Really hoping we've made the right decision though!

Pollution is definitely a concern, where we live is leafy & pretty quiet but the high street does get very congested. Even though I’ve just passed my test I’ve hardly driven anywhere as too much traffic.

Rebeccaslicker
Good luck I’m sure you have. From my limited experience of Cheshire (weekend for a wedding) it’s beautiful. Definitely agree with your point about being out of the house all day, a late night for DH is 7 & I hate doing bedtime alone.