AIBU to ask is there life after London?

[poppingshop1]

I know there is, but is it a good one?

DH & I are true Londoners & live in a lovely part of SW London that I grew up in. We have a lovely life, mum around the corner, excellent school which DC1 attends around the other corner, lovely neighbours, etc. BUT we are starting to think we should leave. 90% of our childhood friends have moved out to either zone 5/6 or the home counties. 3 of my close friends (met through NCT) who live nearby have all decided to leave & told me this week.

We want more space (property is 1300 sq ft) which we can’t afford unless we move to other parts of London (don’t really see the point) & husband is finding the tube more & more stressful. Plus the general hustle & bustle is starting to grate.

However the idea of moving to the suburbs terrify me (don’t mean to offend), worried I will be bored/lonely & DH might struggle with the commute as he’s used to 30 mins door to door. I’d prefer to live in a 3/4 bed terrace close to amenities than a 6 bed detached in the middle of nowhere.

My 3 NCT friends are moving to other cities (Bristol, Edinburgh & Bath) & I’m starting to think that moving to another city could be a great option.

I’m lucky that I freelance so 90% of my work is wfh. DH would obviously earn less working in another city but still plenty of finance jobs around at the 70k mark and as we have at least 500k equity our cost of living would ideally be lower, I feel we might have a better quality of life. My mum is likely to move to be closer to us (she’s an immigrant, so no other family here).

Has anyone moved from London to other cities? Did you regret it? How hard did you find it settle? Where would you go?

Cor blimey, guv, this thread!

Can I just put a word in for the curry houses of Tooting?

But the didn't invent the Balti - Birmingham gets that accolade ;-)

The problem with Tooting High St, is you have to walk/drive past half a dozen large "guaranteed non-stun" butchers signs, so I only ever eat veggie after passing through there, being of a sentimental disposition about these things and not having a very stoical stomach.

I grew up in the country side and once made the mistake of sitting with my friends and watching our neighbour slaughter a pig. My father (a farmer's son) then delighted us all by adding further details. involving buckets and black pudding.

I went through a vegetarian phase later and am intermittently vegetarian now. You've actually reminded me why I should be aiming to go vegetarian again.

I've just ordered a (veggie!) curry thanks to this thread :D

My father (a farmer's son) then delighted us all by adding further details. involving buckets and black pudding.

Eww 🤢

Indeed.

I'm deliberately self-censoring to save others trauma.

You could be me except I'm a Norf Londoner! Until I moved out for uni I had literally not been anywhere in the U.K (except to margate!). Even though I still have lots of family in London, I personally could not cope with living in London with kids (tried it for 6 months) Everything is so crowded and super competitive to get into - even simple things like rhythm time had about 40 kids running round in it! We have lived all over the U.K but I still need to be near a city. I'm Oop Norf at the mo, and it's a lovely way of life for the kids and commute wise for me, much easier than being in London or suburbs. Very safe too but I don't think this is a permanent move here as it's too far from family. I just can't face London with kids anymore! Though I still find London fun, so I don't completely hate it. Anyway, where we go next will be dependent on schools, so who knows where? That is crucial for us. Schools in London look a bit shit, though I only have a narrow view on that.

@kolonya actually schools in London are very good - they have higher than average scores in general ( the average for Greater London is higher than for the UK). That’s primaries. Secondaries get more stratified and less integrated class/background wise

Nor read thread, yes there ate wonderful cities in the UK, I live near London and I don't think I could move far away from it, even though I love other cities there is no city like London and I think you would struggle.

* We moved to Zone 5 and DH loves the commute - he gets a direct train and always gets a seat. The train takes about 15min longer than before. He hated commuting from zone 2 - couldn't get on trains/tubes and even when he did, he was squashed and it was a nightmare.*

I was going to say this. I was born and raised in London, I have lived elsewhere (both city and country-wise) and i gravitated back home. This seems to be a point a lot of PPs are missing - you can go on about how awful/expensive/rude etc London and Londoners are but to a lot of people it is home, despite its faults.

DH (also a Londoner) and I bought where we could afford - zone 5, which was a far cry from our z2 living. But actually, my commute isn't any longer - 45 minutes door to desk - and our mortgage is tiny. We're about to move and we're looking at 3/4 bed Victorian houses walking distance from a station for c. £650k. With a 20 minute train to London Bridge and Victoria, I can cope with being in Z5 for the extra space. We still go into town as much as we did before; it's available time not transport which dictates it!

Live in Chester now, but from North Wales originally. To have a small mortgage and less stress I would move.

DH (also a Londoner) and I bought where we could afford - zone 5, which was a far cry from our z2 living. But actually, my commute isn't any longer - 45 minutes door to desk - and our mortgage is tiny. We're about to move and we're looking at 3/4 bed Victorian houses walking distance from a station for c. £650k.

Spare a smidgen of tact for the displaced Londoners for whom zone 5 was "home" maybe?

All of this depends on everything rippling out. (And on teachers, nurses, firefighters being priced out of "home" too.)

Going back a bit but I can’t let this comment stand: There are times we miss London, being able to nip out for milk/bread/chocolate at midnight etc.

It’s such a pain in the arse when all shops outside London close at 5pm with half day closing on a Wednesday.

@thecatfromjapan
I grew up in the country side and once made the mistake of sitting with my friends and watching our neighbour slaughter a pig.

I did the same. There was a smallholding across the road from us where I grew up. The farmer's young niece was my best friend. We didn't see the actual slaughtering. The pig was dead when we arrived. But yes, I remember the bucket!
Later that day the farmer's elderly mother insisted that my friend and I ate the pig's brains for lunch (my friend did, I politely declined the offer). I was about 7.

Battleax, not sure what you mean. We live here already - we're staying in our local area as our DC are at school here, so we're not displacing anyone. We're upsizing because of a bereavement. Of a family member who lived within 20 minutes of here, if you want the minutiae.

How far away from where I was born am I allowed to move before I'm not 'displacing' anyone? Because my husband and I were both born at Guy's, which is 11 miles as the crow flies. I grew up twenty five minutes away. I don't believe you would accuse anyone outside of London who lived within 11 miles of their birthplace of displacing a local.

zone 5, which was a far cry from our z2 living.?

And I was just suggesting some tact about "tiny" mortgages and "this is home" and so on at a time when very many people are leaving.

@HidingBehindTheWallpaper

It’s such a pain in the arse when all shops outside London close at 5pm with half day closing on a Wednesday.

Yep, same here. Small town, 12,000 people. A lot of the independent shops here close at 5pm. If you work until 5pm and you arrive 1 minute after 5 pm you have to go to a supermarket. Some small shops complain that it is hard to survive in this financial climate. Is it any wonder?
What type of customer do they expect to sell their goods to?

It was - in terms of centrality, in terms of a different feel to an area. In the same way that London is made up of a lot of smaller high streets which feels like individual areas, and they tend to be more compacted the further into town you get. The frequency and availability of night buses. The south circular being the be all and end all of civilisation for drivers.

It does feel different. I love it here. But I would challenge anyone who said I was displacing a local by moving from one part of a city to another part of the same city.

@HidingBehindTheWallpaper to be fair, I never lived near a 24h convenince shop before moving to London. Had one opposite me in Z1 and now in Z3 there is one 5 min walk away.

Nevermind. I can see txt isn't your thing.

No wonder everyone hates us.