AIBU to ask is there life after London?

[poppingshop1]

I know there is, but is it a good one?

DH & I are true Londoners & live in a lovely part of SW London that I grew up in. We have a lovely life, mum around the corner, excellent school which DC1 attends around the other corner, lovely neighbours, etc. BUT we are starting to think we should leave. 90% of our childhood friends have moved out to either zone 5/6 or the home counties. 3 of my close friends (met through NCT) who live nearby have all decided to leave & told me this week.

We want more space (property is 1300 sq ft) which we can’t afford unless we move to other parts of London (don’t really see the point) & husband is finding the tube more & more stressful. Plus the general hustle & bustle is starting to grate.

However the idea of moving to the suburbs terrify me (don’t mean to offend), worried I will be bored/lonely & DH might struggle with the commute as he’s used to 30 mins door to door. I’d prefer to live in a 3/4 bed terrace close to amenities than a 6 bed detached in the middle of nowhere.

My 3 NCT friends are moving to other cities (Bristol, Edinburgh & Bath) & I’m starting to think that moving to another city could be a great option.

I’m lucky that I freelance so 90% of my work is wfh. DH would obviously earn less working in another city but still plenty of finance jobs around at the 70k mark and as we have at least 500k equity our cost of living would ideally be lower, I feel we might have a better quality of life. My mum is likely to move to be closer to us (she’s an immigrant, so no other family here).

Has anyone moved from London to other cities? Did you regret it? How hard did you find it settle? Where would you go?

There are some cities across the country that DO have diversity problems yes, however London does not have the monopoly on diversity

So, if say 90% of the children in a class are British, this is a "problem"? What a weird view point.

Agree that is a peculiar "take" on multiculturalism and migration patterns.

snowballs do you think you would have enjoyed another city more?

inbred chocolate box small town

A fiver says poster doesn’t work for local tourist board.

NB it’s not a choice between London or “ inbred chocolate box small town” plenty in between

There are about 40 languages spoken in our local Glasgow primary school.

My London primary was just white British/second generation Irish kids.

I don’t think an ethnically diverse school/population is some sort of badge of honour though people are people getting on with their lives, it doesn’t matter where they are from.

Moved to Newcastle after many years in London. London will always be in my heart but I love Newcastle, the more relaxed way of life, the people were friendly and welcoming and it took the pressure off financially with having a much reduced mortgage. Newcastle has great nightlife (albeit with 2 kids I don't see much of it) and it has decent bus and metro transport links. Love it.

No it does not matter where people are from, however, it was in response to the fact that a poster was saying people from other cultural backgrounds moved to London as if it is the only place where you get such a diverse cultural background. Because they were the ONLY people of a particular nationality or indeed not born within a short distance of whatever town.

And maybe "diversity problems" was the wrong thing to say, but again I was coming at it in response to the fact that a pp had said they knew someone who had moved as their child was the only foreign child there, so I suppose for them it was a problem hence they moved to London.

Place are what they are. People move where they want and where they feel comfortable. My point was it is not London or nothing as the pp had suggested.

@Tinycitrus
I don’t think an ethnically diverse school/population is some sort of badge of honour though confused people are people getting on with their lives, it doesn’t matter where they are from.

When DH and I lived in London we had colleagues, friends and neighbours who were from different parts of the world (India, Pakistan, Nigeria, Jamaica, Europe, Australia, for example) - as well as friends whose ethnicity was 'white UK'. I always thought it was great to hear these people talk about their countries and heritage. I liked having such a diverse social circle.

The town where we live now is pretty and people couldn't be friendlier but sometimes it can feel kind of 'insular'. I've met people in their mid-20s from around here who never go to London, or who've never travelled. To me that sounds strange and alien. I started travelling (backpacking) on my own when I was 18!

There is but, it takes some adjusting.

I’d lived their for 30 years & moved up north for 6 months which I absolutely hated. Returned down South & absolutely adore Essex. Love visiting London but, can’t see myself ever going make to live.

OP we are probably neighbours!
Firstly look at the 'life after london' website set up by a local mum advising on where to think about moving to.

I grew up in a little village in the south and have no desire to return to that lifestyle. DH grew up in a large S Coast town full of retirees and Leave voters. For those and many other reasons don't want to live there either.
I'd consider Bristol, Oxford and Brighton.

I went to uni in the north which was great but I did feel a long way from my family. The locals weren't keen on the student population...

For us it's really important that DH doesn't have a long commute and can do kids bath time etc. I also want to be able to work part time but need a decent salary to pay for childcare/mortgage so really need to stay around zone 2.

PP saying London stinks - have you ever driven by fields when there is muck spreading? Horrific and much worse if you live nearby, my mums house stank for days!

@SnowBallsAreHere
You’ve won you £5, I don’t work for the local tourist office, whose slogan is probably don’t come here, we don’t like change

In which part of the country do you live then (no need to be specific) and how big/small is your community? Smal market town/village/hamlet? Rural/semi-rural?

My two dc and I used to live in East end of Glasgow so about a 15 min walk from the city centre or 5 mins on the bus. We had so much going on in the city, always something to do, activities, festivals and entertainment. We had a huge flat with loads of space and our local community was really busy and we all had loads of friends. My girls knew no different and as I'd been there so long had got very used to city life.

In 2012 I got engaged to someone from my past and it meant a move to where he lived, back to my home town area. My girls and I moved from the city to a village in Dorset. Couldn't have been a bigger move in terms of distance or lifestyle.

The first year was really hard for us all. My girls struggled to find their feet, I missed my flat, my friends, my neighbourhood but 5 years on I realise it was the best move we could have made.

Both girls got involved in lifeguards and sea rangers, both have focused on different aspects of these - DD1 has gone from doing first aid training to uni to study to be a paramedic, she has made a huge amount of friends and due to where we are, learned to drive and is very independent. Had we stayed in the city she likely wouldn't have bothered. DD2 is all about swimming and lifesaving and is thriving.

I have found myself volunteering with the PTA and lifeguards to find new friends and I love the life here now. We still love to do things we did in the city but just have to travel a bit further to do them and I find that we have a slower pace of life sometimes which is lovely.

Do some research on areas you would like to live. Focus on what you would want from your new life - bear in mind that sometimes a massive change can be the best thing even if you don't realise it. Don't try and recreate your existing life somewhere else, it won't happen and you'll be disappointed.

With regards to transport, I have to say i really do dislike London Midland and their ruddy leaf fall time table! Thankfully they are no longer now!

I've met people in their mid-20s from around here who never go to London, or who've never travelled.

Bit like OP then. Never been anywhere in UK other than London.

And dont you think its ironic that the op has never travelled out of lLondon Pax and knows little about the rest of the UK just as you say people in your town havent travelled ?

Cross post Witches!

Seriously OP - don't go! Just because you know people moving out, you don't have to follow. Your social circle will change as your DC get older anyway.

Most of Britain is dull, dull, dull. If you have never lived outside SW London, you have no idea, sorry. The weather is crap enough in London. If you go west it is noticeably wetter, it really is. The North is a lot colder and the summers are negligible in comparison to the South East. That alone is a reason not to move because the weather affects your mood. It's all very well being in a scenic place, but who wants more rain?

You won't realise how much you take for granted until you go. Think of your children's future and where they are likely to end up when the get their first jobs. Once you get off the London property ladder it's very difficult to get back on. Houses in some parts of SW London have doubled in price since 2004 - in many parts of the country prices have remained flat. What is the point in swapping a house that will almost certainly go up in value over the next ten years for one that will go up less? Your home gives you retirement options and the chance of helping your DC out in the future.
Go for a walk down the Thames and don't take your area for granted!!

In the suburbs, you will end up as a taxi driver for DC and bored to the back teeth. Other cities have a different vibe and size-wise feel like one section of London, e.g. a city centre and one or two other areas and that's it.

Jezo, some people would start a fight in an empty house!

Of course OP thinks London is the centre of the universe, because it's her hometown and it is a great city. I feel the same about mine.

I've just been through exactly this! We spent two years researching and soul searching. And we did it! We're six months in and so far I'm not regretting it. And we love London. It was a huge wrench to leave.

My advice would be to go and visit as many cities as possible. Once you've narrowed down the search book into an Airbnb for a week and see how it goes pottering about in your potential new hood.

We did this and eventually chose a town commuting distance from London as we still have lots of friends there. We're right in the centre of town though and it's a great place. Very pretty. Lots on the doorstep. Great cafes, kids activities, shops, parks etc. All walking distance. We've made some lovely friends. Don't get me wrong I do miss London, but no where near as much as I thought I would. It's just the people I miss, but they've all been to stay. And we now have a decent sized house with lots of space.

So yes, there is life after London. It's different but it's actually ok.

Of course OP thinks London is the centre of the universe, because it's her hometown and it is a great city. I feel the same about mine

No, she thinks it because its LONDON and she thinks no-one can have a good life anywhere else.
You can be proud of your hometown without slagging off everyone elses, and misrepresenting them.

Rent your houses out and rent somewhere else to check it out? Kids grow so quickly, I'd hold onto it.

Most of Britain is dull, dull, dull. If you have never lived outside SW London, you have no idea, sorry. The weather is crap enough in London. If you go west it is noticeably wetter, it really is. The North is a lot colder and the summers are negligible in comparison to the South East. That alone is a reason not to move because the weather affects your mood. It's all very well being in a scenic place, but who wants more rain?

This is actually true. It is like 2 degrees warmer on average in London than Leeds. That was a noticeable difference for me when I moved!

Also I know lots of people are defending public transport in other cities... come on though, public transport in most other towns and cities is less frequent and more expensive because 1) not as heavily subsidized and 2 ) not such a dense population to serve.

I almost always drove to work when I lived in Leeds and Sheffield. Not so in Manchester because the traffic was crazy bad and there was actually quite good buses from where I lived.

I have visited places outside of London; Edinburgh, Birmingham, Manchester, Devon, Essex & Cornwall off the top of my head. However I don’t think 2 or 3 days as a tourist gives me a particular insight into living there.