AIBU to ask is there life after London?

[poppingshop1]

I know there is, but is it a good one?

DH & I are true Londoners & live in a lovely part of SW London that I grew up in. We have a lovely life, mum around the corner, excellent school which DC1 attends around the other corner, lovely neighbours, etc. BUT we are starting to think we should leave. 90% of our childhood friends have moved out to either zone 5/6 or the home counties. 3 of my close friends (met through NCT) who live nearby have all decided to leave & told me this week.

We want more space (property is 1300 sq ft) which we can’t afford unless we move to other parts of London (don’t really see the point) & husband is finding the tube more & more stressful. Plus the general hustle & bustle is starting to grate.

However the idea of moving to the suburbs terrify me (don’t mean to offend), worried I will be bored/lonely & DH might struggle with the commute as he’s used to 30 mins door to door. I’d prefer to live in a 3/4 bed terrace close to amenities than a 6 bed detached in the middle of nowhere.

My 3 NCT friends are moving to other cities (Bristol, Edinburgh & Bath) & I’m starting to think that moving to another city could be a great option.

I’m lucky that I freelance so 90% of my work is wfh. DH would obviously earn less working in another city but still plenty of finance jobs around at the 70k mark and as we have at least 500k equity our cost of living would ideally be lower, I feel we might have a better quality of life. My mum is likely to move to be closer to us (she’s an immigrant, so no other family here).

Has anyone moved from London to other cities? Did you regret it? How hard did you find it settle? Where would you go?

When were you 3 appointed the Thread Police?

Oh stop being ridiculous I haven't claimed to be the thread police. I completely disagree with what you said.

Happily live outside of London. Regular transport. Don't memorise timetables. Don't have to a spend hours transporting DC. Dont have to wait long for the next bus Etc etc.

HTH

Hotheadwheresthecoldbath DH thinks he would prefer a longer commute with a seat as opposed to the cram of the Northern line.

We like eating out in town & take the kids to a museum/exhibition maybe every 6 weeks.

We are lucky that I know a lot of my neighbours, it’s pretty tight knit & the schools catchments are v.small. We have summer parties, christmas drinks etc. My mum did struggle initially & felt very lonely (dad worked long hours) but over time she did settle. She would always want to be 10 mins from shops/public transport.

If you're thinking of relocating I'd start by renting out your current property and renting in whichever place you choose because it is VERY difficult to get a feel for the "right fit" areas by visiting and not living somewhere.

I moved out of London to my DH's home city and we ended up in a place that ticked all the boxes in terms of commute, house prices, amenities and I HATED it because it just wasn't the right place for me. We've since moved a few miles down the road and it's like being in a whole new place but this took time and money because we bought a house in the first place like idiots.

millsbynight It’s so tough, it’s weighing up the cost of all & asking if it’s worth it.

I like working in London and going out there but living in a semi-rural place.

Regarding walking in country areas - there won't be pavements because most roads are too small to bother. Only the bigger A roads tend to have pavements and only where they are near towns - round our way more and more of the busy and dangerous roads are being given cycle paths/footpaths. I do a lot of road running and plan my routes to avoid the A roads without pavements - just too dangerous. But small country roads are fine as long as you have the right footwear - ie they will be muddy most of the winter - and reflective clothing and/or torches after dark. And there will also be rights of way and footpaths too (wellies needed!).

However - I don't think the OP was talking about moving to the sticks was she?

Look, I love London in principle but in reality I find it noisy, stressful, too busy and generally a bit grubby. However I tend to feel that way about most cities so I suspect that is my problem rather than a problem with London per se. I can completely understand how you would feel apprehensive about leaving - I suspect I'd feel the same if I had to more there! I am quite fond of Bristol although I always heave a sigh of relief when we pass through Bedminster on the way out. I do agree with renting out your house and trying a new place for a year or so. I suspect it would be heart-breaking to leave, burn all your bridges, and then find you were utterly miserable.

Good luck

I live on the Coast near Edinburgh. The train journey in to Edinburgh city centre is 15-20 minutes. A £500k house here, would be a huge 4/5 bedroom detached house, right on the seafront. If you had even more money (£500k equity plus some mortgage), you'd get something this this:

www.rightmove.co.uk/property-for-sale/property-46440931.html

I've lived in London. Honestly, I think you are mad for not moving somewhere far more affordable.

Condsider also, that University is free up here.

Yet others agree with me. When were you 3 appointed the Thread Police?

If anyone else has agreed with you that public transport outside London is inevitably dire, such that OP will definitely have to spend more time in her car, they're wrong too. Your comment about memorising fictional timetables instead of waiting for the next one indicates that, for example, you were unaware of the Wilmslow Road corridor. Which was outside London last time I checked.

That said, the posts agreeing with you have generally been on the point that public transport is on average worse outside London, and it's wise to research carefully. Because unlike the other stuff you wrote, that's true.

OP stated she has not lived outside of London, so maybe is not aware of the state of Public Transport elsewhere. My experience is it is usually dire. I am perfectly entitled to express that opinion here, without others trying to bully me into silence.

The problem is that this isn't what you actually said. The use of the qualifying word is moving the goalposts.

And telling you that you're wrong isn't bullying you. It's correcting you. You should try and learn the distinction, otherwise you'll continue to make a tit of yourself.

I live in zone 6, in a town and have a 45 minute door to door commute to my job in the city but am also close enough to the more countryside parts of this area. Still expensive but cheaper than further in.

Should add also, trains into a mainlien central London station run every 10 mins from here. Also still have london buses etc so one goes from near my house practically every 2 minutes.

There's quite a lot of areas you can compromise between London/full on 'crap transport' countryside.

IrianOfW yep don’t think the sticks are for me & realise now in my old age that it’s not cost effective to have pavements everywhere. Thank you for your good advice.

Husky the views from that property are amazing b

that OP will definitely have to spend more time in her car

Well, I for one agree with this bit. While there are certainly differing levels of public transport outside the capital, nowhere comes close to having the breadth of coverage that London does. Not having a car is pretty normal in London, that's not the case for the rest of the country.

I've lived in Edinburgh, where public transport was reasonable, but not at all on a level with London. I've also lived in Northern Ireland where public transport is uniformly dire (even in Belfast). I'm in Dublin (I know not UK, but a capital city for comparison) and it's really shockingly bad. Yes it has trains, buses, even trams, but apart from some well served routes actually traversing the city is really difficult. The vast, vast majority of people drive everywhere.

Why this level of certainty about whether OP will need to spend more time in a car when she hasn't said exactly how much time she spends now, which area she'll be moving to, what sort of activities her and the family are likely to engage in and how far they're liable to be from it?

There are stops in London that mean you get a seat zone 2 even, the tube commute is particularly bad

God no...... I have lived outside of London, in both cities and country. I will never move out now and those people who quite enjoyed "roughing it" in their twenties only to get all "this is no place to raise a child and anyway we want an eat-in kitchen" when they hit their 30s are dead to me now. I'd rather live in my London shoebox than be stuck in a 3-bed semi in suburbia dying a slow death.

genever Tue 12-Dec-17 12:31:40

In my oldest child's class at school, class of 30, there are kids from Hungary Romania Albania Czech Republic Croatia Turkey India Sri Lanka Greece Russia Poland Ghana the Netherlands and possibly more.

I was talking to another mum I know who's from Argentina. She
and her husband had left another area of the UK and moved to London because in her daughter's class at school, she was the only foreign child and in fact the only one not from that particular part of the UK

it's really not the same.

It is not just London that is culturally diverse. At my children's school there are nearly 40 different languages spoken. It is not London or nothing.

There are some cities across the country that DO have diversity problems yes, however London does not have the monopoly on diversity.

Don’t forget that if you ever want or need to work in London, two commutes will be very expensive. The same amount of money (my friends pay nearly 10 grand a year from not that far out) would buy you a lot of mortgage.

My friend bought a lovely house in Fife. Sold it and moved back into a flat in Edinburgh because it was so dull there.

We live in a town full of a lot of ex Londoners. Commute to Liverpool st about 50 minutes. I think it hugely depends on what you want. We could buy in a town locally to us as houses are cheap but town is awful and no great house would make up for that.

You sound reluctant to move. I’d be tempted to holiday in a few cities in the UK to get a feel for it but you sound like you love London and there’s a lot of great cities but London being the capital is likely to have more going on.

What’s your Dh’s view?

It is not just London that is culturally diverse. At my children's school there are nearly 40 different languages spoken. It is not London or nothing.

Same here DD’s school on edge of Nottingham is hugely diverse and was third choice as they are all full. A lot of London-centric ignorance on this thread.

SchnitzelVonKrumm the cost & unreliability of the commute is one reason we are considering another city.

Msqueen33 DH is not that fussed but likes the idea of a large house and/or living by the coast.

There are some cities across the country that DO have diversity problems yes, however London does not have the monopoly on diversity

So, if say 90% of the children in a class are British, this is a "problem"? What a weird view point.

My friend bought a lovely house in Fife. Sold it and moved back into a flat in Edinburgh because it was so dull there

The property I posted, is in North Queensferry. It's a 20 minute bus or train ride, right in to the heart of Edinburgh. I don't think the Op needs to be near nightclubs 24/7, she's raising a family, and I'm sure being 20 minutes away from the Capital would be acceptable.

I have no idea why anyone would pay ££££ to live in London, when there are so many other cities that are cheaper.

For context, I live in a 5 bedroom house, with panoramic sea views and a view of the iconic Forth Rail Bridge. It cost me £200k, 2 years ago. There's a bus stop at the end of my street, that takes me in to the heart of Edinburgh, costs £5 return, and takes 30 minutes. Or I can get the train, which takes 15 minutes.

My kids are both at University, which costs me NOTHING. Because it's free.

I think people in London are being totally mugged off.

@BearsDontDigOnDancing
It is not just London that is culturally diverse. At my children's school there are nearly 40 different languages spoken. It is not London or nothing.

Do you live in a large, ethnically diverse town then? Our town has a population of around 12,000 and most people here are white UK or white European. Not much ethnical diversity here.

Glasgow has a subway system. So does Newcastle (I think)

London’s fine but experiences can be very different depending on income. So yes a SW London lifestyle with disposable income can be great but a zone 4 low income township isn’t great at all.